Three days have gone by since I have last written in my diary. Please do not be worried. I am doing fine. It has been a wonderful four days off from writing. I spent some time on Empowr and Facebook as well as read my Kindle reader. I am now reading “The Circle” written by David Eggars. I have seen The Circle movie starring Emma Watson and Tom Hanks (the only two people I recognized) even though I also knew Bill Paxton was in the movie but I barely recognized him. He passed away shortly after the movie was finished and when it came out, he was gone.
Although I saw the movie first before reading the book, I do have to admit that I thought the movie was fantastic until I started reading the book itself. The movie was good if you like that sort of thing where everyone will know your business, actions, and life. I do not think I would do what Mae Holland did in the movie or not. I would not want people to know my business (not all of it). I am private, too. Where I live today and have for the nineteen years is a great example. Some days I wish I had my own home where I would hear nothing above me, next to me, or around me except for the noises inside my home but with the money I have today (and being disabled and my kidney health is not its best) living in an apartment is the best choice for me. It is the tenants around here that have nothing better to do except get into groups and talk about their woes and problems that can go on and on and on forever. Yes, I live in an apartment building with tenants who are over 62 years of age and there are four of us I know of momentarily who have been grandfathered in who are under 62 years of age. I am 47 years old. RS, who was evicted in May, was not in her 60s yet so she cannot move into another apartment complex like this again. I believe she would be 58 or 59 this year if she abided by the rules of living here but for six months, other tenants and myself had major issues with her. I do not associate with any group anymore because I do not feel I belong nor do I feel comfortable. My life, as a professed Christian and continuing to grow, does not need to be a part of worldly activities the tenants have been going on around here if it involves gossip and talk about other tenants in the building. It is best to stay away from that. I do my best at praying for everyone here even though it I very difficult.
Please excuse me for writing about my woes once again but memories do come and go. I have been hurt by a tenant here who I thought was a friend for life but someone changes because of a relationship, a friend for life can be your worst enemy of the time until the situation is taken care of or the problem has been removed. The hurt and the memories of what happened come and go, and I do my best when it happens. Anxiety, panic, and depression are three of the feelings I have and they are feelings on the negative side. Please do believe me when I say that I am happy once again and I have a nice neighbor living in the apartment where RS once lived for six years and it is quiet once again. I just want to be left alone. I am busy enough now that associating myself with certain people is not necessary. I do have my people I am comfortable with.
Thank you so much for listening and reading about my woes from time to time. I do understand that they can get lengthy and monotonous from time to time but I do have to write my feelings out or I would be sad for a few hours or a couple of days. That is what a diary is for, right? Right.
Let me get back to the book titled “The Circle” I have been reading. I did enjoy the movie, yes, but the book is “definitely” a lot better. The actors in the movie did a good job in their roles – not because they are my favorite actors and actresses from other movies and TV shows – as human beings living the life acting as other people (fictitious or as a real person). Acting is not my forte but I enjoy others acting out their roles. The book has more in it than the movie did. Mae Holland went transparent (showing her life from morning to night) with a camera and having followers. I would not do that myself unless I share something I am very passionate about. I am still reading the book. I have found out, after reading the sample, “The Circle” has three books in one. I am reading the second part of the book now – not this minute, though, LOL. When I do take the time to read, I can hardly put the Kindle reader down to do other things that take priority during the day.
As my days and weeks continue to move ahead so doesn’t my life. I am keeping myself busy daily. I enjoy being on the computer, I love to read, and take time away from both things from time to time. I do my best at not allowing certain things get me upset and in a mind of insecurity and obvious but it still happens. When it does, I want to scream my head off.