The Only Entry?


I am saying this, the title, because I am not sure if this is going to be the only entry for the month of July. The last entry I had written was before I left for my trip to Pennsylvania on June 26th. It is unbelievable that I allowed such time to pass without an entry but again I have been very busy with school. It seems that I have been eating, breathing, and sleeping school with all the homework I have had in the past four weeks of class! There has been alot of homework for the past four weeks that I found it very mind boggling and fun at the same time. At one point, during the last four weeks I was not sure if I was going to keep up with the class as far as all the homework that was due all at once on a particular day but I have been doing just fine even though I felt like I was going to pull my hair right out of my head, lol. All in all, this past month I haven’t just been eating, breathing, and sleeping school. In fact, I have dealt with depression about a week ago. Let me tell you why.

About two weeks ago, my best froend RC’s wife of two months left him and she had moved back in with RW. The wedding took place on May 27, 2006. and RC’s wife left him?! I found it unbelievable at first but after the reality set in, I was hit with confusion and hurt. When my friend RC called me I was very lost in a world of confusion even more so. I knew in my heart that I was at no fault at what just conspired, but I dod feel unsure of the idea of ever introducing RC and MW to each other. During this week of confusion, and unsurety, I had fallen into a bout of depression because what had happened to my best friend RC had affected me as well even though the pain that RC was dealing was deeper for him than for me. Even during my week of depression, I had learned the truth of the friendship I had with RC’s wife who left him…a friendship that was all an act…placing my feelings in deeper – just as deep as RC’s feelings of hurt that was way down deep. Even though I had dealt with depression during that week, I did not give up on school even though…(still going and glad I did not give up on schooling).

My world this month has been one hectic world. RC is still my best friend. MW (formerly known as MC) has not called me for two weeks now and I do not intend to hear from her directly for a very long time. I still do not know what to think about all that has happened but I have learned to accept that what happened between RC and MW was not my fault as I only had introduced the two of them to each other this past April. I do have to admit that RC really loves MW very much but the question of MW truly loving RC has been raised more then once in the past two weeks…

I am so glad to see this month drawing to a close…as this month has been one hectic month. I am ready to begin a new month!!! Only two more days before August rolls in. This month, because of that week dealng with depression, has gone by much slower than the months previous to July. I thought that the days, at least not all of them thankfully, just dragged on and on to the point there was going to be no end to the days. Luckily I had my friend JS helping me out during that one horrible week I had played. Depression really hurts emotionally and physically, doesn’t it?! It sure does.

Hey. DD readers…thanks so much for taking the time to read my thoughts for today. I appreciate it greatly! Sorry for being such a stranger this month. Love ya guys and gals very much!