I know that my grandma is no longer here physically but in my heart she is still in my life and today Grandma would have been 82 years old if she was alive today. She may not be here to celebrate her birthday but in my heart and memories I am celebrating her birthday by doing what she wanted me to do even if she is not here. Years ago, as a young girl, my grandma told me that she did not want me or anyone to stop what they’re doing in life because she would someday not be there for me or anyone. To this day, even when she died four years ago yesterday, October 1, I remember saying that she wanted me to live my life the way it was to be lived even though she was going to be gone, I remember those exact words. That is probably why I personally think I don’t cry at funerals or memorials of someone’s death. When Grandma died, yes, there were tears shed, but not sad tears. They were tears of relief from watching her suffer for so long with the congestive heart failure she had for a long time. Seeing her in the hospital bed, dying slowly was very hard at times but I had to be strong at a not so strong time, and I remembered those words of long ago my grandma said. I had, about five hours before Grandma passed away, read the letter that was written to her by me, and the words in the letter were probably of relief to Grandma knowing she could go and be free of the pain she was in. Mom said that she was trying, Grandma was, to respond by opening her eyes and look at me, but she was very weak and the struggle was a big effort.
I did not get to my computer in time to write part 2 of my story of my grandma when I wanted to, but that’s okay. Anyway, Grandma would have been 82 years old today, October 2nd if she was still alive. She may not be physically alive today but she is in my heart through the memories I have of her – good and bad and the not so good. Grandma is missed terribly at times and I still want to pick up the phone and dial my grandparents telephone number to talk to her sometimes, but then I remember that the telephone number is no longer theirs and now someone else’s telephone number. It is strange sometimes, even to this day, I want to pick up the phone and dial my grandparent’s number and speak to Grandma. I remember one day, it was a surprise to me, when I called my grandma to see if I could visit and spend the night that night but my grandma told me she had some cleaning to do but I could spend the night the following night. As it turned out, I did spend the night the following night – not knowing that my mother was going to be there from Albuquerque, New Mexico to visit/surprise me. I wasn’t there for very long when I decided to get on my grandma’s old typewriter and write a story that was itching to come out, when the den door opened up. I did not see my grandma come in front of the typewriter, and I did not feel Grandpa’s form come in from behind me to get to his desk. I sakd, not remembering if I said it out loud for my grandparents to hear or it was just in my head, “why is the door open?” I stopped typing and went to stand up and close the door and I just stared at the form of my mother standing there. I just stood there and the expression on my face was, to my mother, that I had just seen a ghost and I was looking right through her. Nothing was coming out of my mouth which had felt like it went all the way to the floor with suprise and everything got quiet, mysteriously quiet, in the kitchen. Then I got excited and jumped into my mother’s arms giving her a hug. The next thing I knew, as Mom and I went into the kitchen, I saw a sneaky “I got you” look on Grandma’s face and Grandpa was smiling his smile of love and happiness.
You see, I do have fond memories of my grandma and I do love my grandma still through the memories. Grandma Fox knew how to surprise someone and when it came to that time, there was no telling what was going to happen really. Surprises was my grandma’s speciality.