It may be cliché, but its kind of true, why does mens always end up being shitty friends?
So there’s this guy, whom I share alot of nice experiences with and alot of nice memories, most of them were not party-invilved, some of them were, anyways that guy became my best friend so far, in a pandemic context, we still saw and hang out with eachother, and I swear to the great universe it was not romantic, we were legitimatly best friends, but the that happend.
One day we woke up after a party cuddling, “this is nice” I throught to myself “no weird at all, we are just in a cuddle mood” BUT THEN HE KISSED ME! (this is starting to look like a YA novel, sorry bc of that) I didn’t know what to say or what to feel, we are both young adults so we ended up hooking up, wrong idea because my f- pisces ass ended up getting really confused about it.
Fastfoward to that event, a month later I still couldn’t made up my mind, so I didn’t got the red flags, if there is a thing like “friends reds flags”, t like the facts that when we introduced each other to new people I was just another friend, or the fact that I never really seem to fit in his stories, or when we took mushrooms toghether and I was really thankfull for a friend like him and he vas just living the experience.
And that was until halloween this year, I blacked out, totally blacked out, there’s no memory of that night no me, after 3am, we went togheter, and he didn’t care I guess, that his best girl friend passed out and some random unknown guy went to bed with her (me, hi); I don’t have a clue of what happened there, and honestly I don’t know if I want to know, but one thing I know, i would never, EVER would left a friend alone in that state, and if I did, at least I would try to check on her now and then, because we know where im trying to get here. I dont recall anything that happend that night, it’s better for me not to know, and I know Im responsable to watch out what Im drinking, but aren’t friends there for protecting you when this kind of stuff happens?
The dissapointment that I get from this event is tearing our friendship apart, I’m no longer confused about the little crush I got, I could never be with someone who didn’t watch out for me.