Sep 062020
Image may contain: food and indoor

So… I’m sort of vaguely semi-homesteading. Our house is heated completely by wood, but we do have gas as a backup, though we haven’t used it for years now. We grow as much of our own food as we can, though this year has been a bit of a dud because of the hot dryness of the season – fruit just simply hasn’t ripened, and now we finally get one cooler week and it all just starts to ripen… and a sudden weird early freeze is going to take most of our crop.

I’m going to do all I can to save all that I can. But I’m one person, and my Momma, who lives with me, is too disabled to help – especially with the weather front causing her a LOT of pain. I’ve been more sick than usual for four days, and now have the period from hell. I have a day and a half to do what I can, and temperatures in the upper nineties both days are not helping me do anything.

I’m reading a post from a gardening group that involves the pictures above. This is the produce that this person has processed *today*. It’s that time of season. It’s what’s necessary to produce – day after day – at this point in the year, to get yourself through winter with even a modicum of self-sufficiency.

Today marks the third anniversary of the surgery that I had that led from me being a human dynamo to this sickly weak lump of a person struggling to do a quarter of what I did before. As I sat in the bathroom flushing out the pus from a post-surgical infection that is still producing pus despite the highest level of oral antibiotics that I can have, I thought “I can’t do this anymore. Not on my own. Probably not even with someone else.” I think I have to be done. Dabble in a garden, sure. But the next place I buy, if I return to Australia, has to be much more finished, and my life so much less self reliant. No more major renovations on my own. No more trying to produce as much of my own food as I can. Just give up and get on with life as it is, rather than how I wish it would be.

 Posted by at 10:31

  2 Responses to “Homesteading fail”

  1. One day? They must have had lots of helpers. No one person can preserve that much in a day!

    Homesteading is a romantic idea. And a boatload of work. I hope your health improves and you can find a balance.

    • Yeah I semi-homestead-ed in my late twenties with two friends on an acre, and that worked fairly well. But getting sick only six months into this big renovation and garden establishment has just killed me. It was too much for one person, but I’ve always been someone to bite off too much and chew it somehow anyway.

      Thank you for putting that preserving effort into perspective. I’m being too hard on myself. I’m just so discouraged right now.