Sep 012020
 
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My username “ipse” is latin for “myself”.

I’m on a quest. I’m doing some pretty intense therapy right now. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I would again. I’ve done so much work over the last couple of decades, and at some point it can feel like I’m digging up more pain than I am willing to keep dealing with – maybe even more than I can deal with in whatever time I have left.

The abuse started so early in life, that I have thought that I don’t have a good sense of who I am. But I was talking with my very very excellent therapist this morning and I am doing better I think. Working it out.

Does it ever really matter who we are, how our lives have shaped us? – as opposed to who we might have been without our traumas?

We are the sum of all of our experiences – the bad and how we deal with it, and the good, and how we deal with that too.

I might be scared of the world I live in. I might have seen some of how horrific humanity can be. I might be fat, and ugly, and inadequate to the requirements of the life I am trying to have. But (to quote Celie from The Color Purple) – Dear God, I’m here.

 Posted by at 15:51

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