Jul 182020
 

it’s been dragging me down for a million years. that dread. the worry. so much so that i’m a little unfeeling…or at least better at swallowing that mass of hurt until it dissolves like jello.

it’s impending. the weight loss, the lack of appetite. taste buds on dry. the slow walk and shaky hands. the confirmation of no more tests, no more upkeep by the docs…

what for?

and the travel from hothead brooklyn to spanishtown, where the air smells like red beans and rice and sweet fried plantains, is filled with monkey chatter bouncing from lobe to lobe. radiohead’s melancholy can’t outdo this sad…

i’ve seen it happen too many times. the second life turns to death. i see the lights go out in the eyes, the last breath, the muscle twitches, the ever scarring grief – white hot, raw, real, truth…

how it slips to no more. and what’ll we do with your pots and pans? all the masterpieces on the fridge? and how do i get up in the morning, brush my teeth, and get ready for work?

how do you jump over this grand canyon of loss?

  One Response to “the pains…”

  1. Your writing… is lyrical.

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