scenes from me…

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Feb 202019
 

walking during the early morning through the snowy fields between the dorms and student apartments. cold, clear, and a sharp sun revealing a truth you chose to ignore last night… duran duran playing in the background…save a prayer to your shrinking heart.

sitting in a dark movie theatre, watching in horror as she cried in embarrassment over how poor she really was, bring on the dancing horses to hide your shabby second hand store clothes, running from the geeky devoted to a shining well-clothed star who’ll always be better than you.

in a dark tiny room that costs way too fucken much, you hid in a corner pocket of nyc, outer borough, no man’s land, full of gunshots and mice. in the dead of night, you look at your ceiling and see the milky way, shimmering and white.

same tiny room, too filled with silly girls and their friends, when the golden boys visited was a treat, and thoughts of ray’s soft fingers running along your face embedded a tender moment about calls from a new england looking for you or his sleepy brilliant head resting on the couch pillow, his pocket full of $50.

home again, home again, in a beat up car with my muse. driving no where in particular, dodging deer in the headlights, eating oreos with birthday candles, and and and, waiting for the ten ton truck to kill the both of us, we laughed, we wanted, and we knew it wouldn’t be, even back then. nevertheless, this bright light never goes out.

18. dumb. halloween. dorm. party. nick with a safety pin in his lip. jim in his crazyass pink/brown plaid old man suit. you trying to figure out how to sit with a tail. should you stay, should you go? finding the spanish was a secret you thought only you knew. those long black satin gloves did the trick.

it was over before it was over. prospect park, before it was safe, after 5+ years we had nothing in common. a long and painfully drawn out conclusion. packed up junk and me moved way north away from you and your dreams of it being over… i found peace. and you again in a year.

northern lights over a sodus park. fucking around in the middle of a swamp with bugs biting and sweaty skin. heralding that much sought after cry on an early sunday morning in your childhood bedroom…here’s where the story ends.

walk through all those rooms. remember how they tasted and smelled. how often your heart skipped a beat, or how warm and mushy you felt when he put his arm around your waist. read and re-read your poet’s musings as if they were written just for you. it plays when the theatre burns while Will watches, it plays when you walk through the indifferent city streets, full of indifferent city people, stuck in the now of it, when back then it was gritty, tough, painful, beautiful skyline, with the towers, elegia…on the radio.

it’s on…

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Feb 072019
 

planning has begun for the yearly excursion overseas. Iceland it is. although, i’m pretty enamoured with the tv series A Discovery of Witches so much that i really want ot visit Oxford and travel through the French countryside and float on the numerous canals in Venice…

but, Iceland it is. so far, i will spend 2 nights in 5 villages along the Ring Road and a few night in the capital (and plan to drive the Golden Circle). i’ve got the car rental and all lodgings booked. waiting to buy my plane ticket, airport parking spot, and cat care…which promises to be expensive.

so i planned my travel days to include the new moon phases so that i can see the milky way and stargaze. i was going to bring my telescope but i had trouble with security coming back from utah so i can only imagine what a pain in the ass it’ll be getting through jfk from abroad. so, i may buy a pair of binoculars for stargazing. i’ve made a list of what to bring (clothes-wise) since everything i’ve read points to unpredictable weather. this will probably be the most expensive trip i’ve taken. it will also be a trip that will have experiencing a wild and natural land as its main attraction.
one of the towns i’ll be staying in is Husavik (excellent for whale watching). i’m pretty excited to drive and see and have already begun getting my road trip playlist together. i was a little worried about food but found a great app that lists eateries and restaurants that offer vegetarian and vegan fare.

and so the countdown begins…

the new workplace has been an extraordinary challenge for me. those folks are the top of the top. i’m a little fish swimming amongst the most talented and intelligent sharks in the field. i’ve managed to stay alive for 7 months now. soon, however, once i start and finish my internship, i’ll be heading towards a less stressful, albeit, equally challenging field.

onward and forward.