Sep 222011

with its cover of a gargoyle sticking its tongue out…

i was hooked. turned onto the band with the murmuring muttering lead singer hiding behind all of that hair, by a family friend, my sister’s college roommate…she saw them play the bottom line? and yelled 1,000,000. and they played it.

i went with her to the first of three concerts to see them. the first being at the now re-named Felt Forum in madison square garden. it was general admission. i had a great view. we were packed in tight like sardines. they played songs from the then new album, Life’s Rich Pangeant… i am, i am, i am superman…and i can do anything…

the next two concerts were at radiocity music hall…one to support the Document album and the other …i’m at a loss to remember. most likely because i was pretty stoned and paranoid.

i have the vinyls. chronic town EP, murmur, reckoning, life’s rich pangeant, the cassettes: green, document, fables of the reconstruction, and then stopped buying…

this music, the lyrics, carried me through my 20’s.
my early favorites:

south central rain
perfect circle
fall on me

then, enter later favorites:

losing my religion
everybody hurts

i hope they stay retired. i hope they don’t taint leaving. i did not delve too much in the newer stuff past the 90’s. i liked the obscure muttering small athens georgia band who ruled college radio back in the 80’s…

perfect circle of acquaintences and friends
drink another, coin a phrase…

Sep 112011

5 years i was away from when it all happened…and when i finally moved back, i still did not visit the site. the last job i had was working around that site, and still i did not visit.

maybe this week, i will.

i’ve heard some folks say, “get over it”. and to those folks i say, “have you ever lost a parent? sibling? best friend? spouse? now think about losing them violently…scared, some alone, in pain… how can you expect anyone who lost someone to “get over it”?
i don’t like all of the fanfare, but that’s me personally. i’ll visit the site, pay my respects at Trinity Church and hope that folks find some peace now that there is a memorial.

Sep 062011

visited Mom on Saturday, stayed until Sunday
went with her to a baby shower on Sunday
flaked out Monday, slept, ate, did some situps and used my weights
went to the Frick Museum and Guggenheim Tuesday…

folks, i would tell anyone visiting NYC, if you hate crowds and long lines, go to the Frick. it has some seriously gorgeous art from famous artists: Fraganard, Watteau, Goya, Rembrandt, Hals, Degas,…and i saw my first Bernini!!!!!!!!! the reason i went in the first place. sadly, the sculpture was poorly lit and kind of out of the way. if i hadn’t done a little research on the website before visiting, i would have missed it since the info desk person said there wasn’t a Bernini in the collection. he was wrong of course. very satisfied with the visit, free audio tour was included with the ticket purchase, i didn’t use this service, i was a little surprised at how much i remember from school (i minored in Art History). classes i took: Northern Baroque, Southern Baroque, 18th Century Art, and Medieval Architecture.

next stop after a short lunch, i headed to the Guggenheim. the building is alot smaller than it looks but pretty spectacular. i was a bit disappointed with the collection, only one floor of pieces that are in the permanent collection and the rest was an exhibit that i couldn’t appreciate. there were a couple of pieces by Picasso (before his cubism period), a Van Gogh, Manet, Seurat, Cezanne…can’t think of anything else at the moment. there was an exhibit by Hugo Boss? that was basically a room wallpapered with dollar bills. the building itself is gorgeous, and i enjoyed walking up and down the spiral and people watching.

next stop is a drive to the Cloisters if the weather holds out. i’m happy there is parking available, but not happy that the recommended price for one adult ticket is $25. way too much, even though i know that it includes the entrance price for main building (the Metropolitan Museum of Art) as well. i’m not planning on visiting the MET, so, since it’s a recommended price, i’ll probably only give them $15. it’s better than a dollar…which they would have to accept and let me in regardless. we’ll see how the weather holds out. i really do want to go.

on my way home, i saw a poster in the subway for the city center and tickets for this season being $10 dollars for every seat in the house…holy! have to check that out.

the plan for tonight:
make myself some pasta with veggies
have some cookies (on account that’s it’s a special day today for me)
i haven’t had pasta in a while.

may still go rock climbing at chelsea piers on friday….will drive up to visit Mom on thurs to weed her front yard. vacation days left? 4 nights if you include tonight! 😛


Sep 022011

cooking less, eating more junk, blowing off the gym. i’ve become heavier this year. trouble fitting into clothes, but most alarming to me is the rollercoaster i’ve been riding with getting the excess weight off and then, putting it back on. when i stopped training for the marathon (a year ago), all bets were off.

all my fault. lazy, no discipline. i let the stress of work and personal life drive me to eating myself to comfort. and it’s a viscious cycle, i get a little depressed at all the changes of my body and so i eat crap….you name it: bread, bagels, mike & ikes, twizzlers, icecream, burritos (store bought). i actually feel a withdrawal when i stop eating bread or drinking coffee (and i only have a cup a day)…

i’ll be older in a few short days and i have to say, i’ve been reckless with my health. the poor diet contributes to the bad monthly cramps which feeds the want of OTC pms meds every 4 hours. i am fatigued. i opt to sleep instead of hitting the gym. i opt for that ice cream sandwich, and let the head of romaine rot in the refrigerator draw…

i have to change. i just have to.

i’ve already changed my stress level at work. so much ridiculousness that i’m actually used to doing without or on my own now. i can handle it, and if i can’t (because we’re short staffed) i don’t beat myself up anymore. i’m not a robot. i’ve given myself permission to be kind to myself, because at the end of the day i know that i am dependable, hardworking and caring.

funny how impossible situations bring out my calm side.

what i need to work on is the fatigue. working overnights is tough. there is no way around not being tired because this shift is unnatural. hopefully, more help at work will remedy this.

i have to cut computer time down to a normal and reasonable time spent. too much…time on this damned thing. 3 hours is alot. 4 hours is ridiculous. missing an entire day is seriously insane. so, first things first:

i need to say:
fuck facebook
fuck email
fuck reading the news online

next: need to get back to cooking meals. tired of telling myself, “i used to…” when i still can. so, must vow to cook myself at least 2 meals a day.
cut the sugar down to occassional as opposed to daily.

with exercise, i need to commit to at least 30 minutes a day. 30 minutes is nothing. 30 minutes is writing this. 30 doesn’t seem so daunting as 1-2 hours (what i would normally spend at the gym). separate body parts (legs one day, upper body another day, cardio another day).

sleep. i need to get sound sleep. no more iPod in the bed.
and then, i have to accept that i am getting older and my body is going to change on the inside and on the outside.

life goes on…