Oct 142009
 

ah. finally start off with a hit list that doesn’t include yahoo etc. crawlers. there are at least 4-5 crawlers hitting my diary.
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i am disappointed at missing the deadline for the flamenco class…i thought it would start in october but it actually started the end of Sept. you don’t jump into a class once the session has started. so, i’m looking for another dance class to take. may take argentinian tango. i had wanted a class that didn’t require a partner. ah well. i guess i’ll do a little more shopping around before i commit to this class.
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with my current work schedule, i can run races sunday mornings and take a dance class as well. 🙂 very happy about that.

the new job is going well. every morning before work, i give myself a pep talk.
i need to be able to trust my abilities because, i have them, but sometimes lack of confidence wins over…and i’m tired of that happening. it’s funny, because i’m actually doing more at this smaller operation as opposed to the specialty hospital i came from. go figure!

what sucks is the morning commute. working overnights allowed me to travel into the city at a time when everyone is trying to get out of the city (by city i mean Manhattan). less folks to compete with for a seat… now? now i join the great morning commute into Manhattan and compete for a seat or even for a spot to stand in the train where i can grab a pole and hang on. yesterday, my arm went a little numb, so i just leaned on the doors (something you are encouraged NOT to do). along with the competition against the rest of the commuting mass is dealing with the bags they carry. i’ll have to get used to newspapers in my face, bags tapping my legs, arms, etc…because noone seems to have any awareness of the space around them or lack of…so they let the bags swing…

ah well. to quote mick jagger, “you can’t always get what you want…”
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i’ve 3 goals i’m trying to incorporate in my life.

1. patience – because impatience doesn’t really work well or help

2. grace – because i am lucky to have found another job so quickly and for it to be a good place was really a wonderful turn of luck

3. silence – because folks will believe what they’ve always believed regardless of new information etc. i’m okay in my skin, can sleep at night, have no problem looking in the mirror. i live with a clean conscience. what is the point of arguing against deliberately unhearing ears?

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getting back to sleeping during the night was a little tough but my body is slowly going back to the natural. maybe that’s why i feel a little more normal.
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activity-wise (i’ll be running at least 3 more races before the end of this year and i’ll be volunteering for this year’s ING NYC Marathon)…i’ll be at the finish line getting those crazy mofo’s bags to them… truly, anyone who sets out to do something as daunting as running a marathon and achieves it deserves a slap on the back and lots of cheers! because it AIN’T easy.

i’ll try to register for a dance class because i miss being graceful. my body is screwy. 🙂

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it looks like i’ll be able to go to this year’s village halloween parade (that’s greenwich village). i’ve never been, have always had to work the past 3 years….so if i can hijack my niece…and a couple of my siblings…i’ll finally get to go.
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had a dream two nights ago where an old high school english teacher made an appearance (he was one of my two favorite teachers). we hugged. i hope he is okay. last time i had a dream involving my hugging someone in my past was the infamous love of my life whom i haven’t seem in over 15 years. it was so real, i could smell his leather jacket…

i could use a nice long warm hug.

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off to shower, get to the NYPL (new york public library) to return items, head to the gym, (go to the Brooklyn Public Library) to return items, do laundry…etc. etc. etc.

new york city can be a pain in the ass
new york city can be the coolest place to be on earth

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