Jul 312009

there’s nothing that says, “kill me now!” more than a jackhammer outside your window first thing in the morning after a 12 hour overnight shift.

1. you have no control over the noise made (volume or time)
2. there is nowhere to escape to because you’re tired and can’t drive off somewhere and anything within walking distance you’ll only hear that %$#@!& jackhammer.

i had a long busy night and now i can’t even get some sleep…sad thing is that it’ll probably go on until 5pm or whenever finishing time is for this type of work.

sucks x 1 million


tell the sky…

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Jul 292009

i’m listening to Life’s Rich Pageant on vinyl right now.
there’s a summer rainstorm happening right now.
i’m drinking a cup of strong coffee right now.
i’ve just finished breakfast.
i’m still cloudy with the crazy dream i had.
i’ve got the night off…

early REM kicks ass. no really. just listen to Murmur or Chronic Town…
kicks ass.

Coldplay is in town for the All Points West concert series.
i’ve got to work.
lucky me…although, if they were playing at Roseland, i’d sell a kidney to go…but outdoors in a large venue, fuck it. i’m done battling drunken college boys and their obnoxious self conscious girlfriends.

i hate working weekends. all hell breaks loose, takes names, and kicks asses. i’m getting too old for that.

okay, a little dramatic but still, it gets to be too much running around nonstop for 14 hours.
need to shower and head to the gym. yes. i shower to go to the gym. heck, this is my morning (even though it’s 6pm)…i worked last night and got home this morning and went to bed and got up about 1 hour ago. so, i shower.

think i’ll spend my evening (after the gym) listening to my records. 🙂 and sipping a nice glass of shiraz.


i will hide and you will hide
and we shall hide together here
underneath the bunkers in the row

i have water, i have rum
wait for dawn and dawn shall come
underneath the bunkers in the row



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Jul 282009

shame on the NFL for reinstating mike vick. this guy basically tortured and killed (some at point blank range) dogs all to make a profit. great going NFL. a great message you are sending to the young athletes of today. you’ve reinstated a cowardly thug. he’ll make lots of money. and go back to torturing defenseless animals. all for a profit, and then be “sorry” when he gets caught again.



Jul 272009

what is it about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

e.e. cummings from “Somewhere I Have Never Travelled”

the bold line is what i (most likely) will get as tattoo…most likely on the small of my back. font? not sure yet.

as usual, i’ve been sleeping lots. not sure if it’s that i’m tired, anemic, depressed, vitamin deficient, etc etc etc. been having crazy dreams as well. mostly about my college days…some of the people making appearances i have no clue who they are.

i feel some sort of change happening. maybe it’s all in my head…
watched the most current episode of True Blood. i’m hoping that what’s happening, won’t happen. i like the character of Sam Merlotte. as usual, each episode leaves you wanting more.
still no TV.

although, i’m not sure what i’ll do once CW’s Vampire Diaries begins. i’ll probably just watch it online like i do Smallville and Gossip Girl.

ah well. i’ve had my cup of coffee and feel a little more awake. have chores to do..it’s freakin’ 11:50pm…must wash a set of scrubs. early this morning, i went for a nice walk along the water…saw one of the cruise ships coming in just under the verrazano. took a picture with my phone, not sure why…such a touristy thing to do. it was just such a big ship (liner? not sure what the proper term here) and i’d always wanted to go on a cruise.. never ever considered the problem of “pirates” that seem to plague the waters in this day and age. imagine, getting hijacked by pirates while you’re on vacation. would supremely suck!

downloaded a handful of songs last night:
tangerine and that’s the way by led zeppelin
so cruel and who’s gonna ride your wild horses by u2
so alive by ryan adams

watched on dvd:
Lady Chatterley by Pascale Ferran (beautifully done)
have on cue:
The Seventh Seal by Ingmar Bergman (a classic)
The Secret Life of Bees by i have no clue!



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Jul 232009

the summer is half over. i don’t know if i’m relieved or sorry. it hasn’t really felt like summer up until the last few days…june was cold and rainy. today, it’ll rain.

it’s approximately 1 hour before i have to start getting ready for work. i think my body is finally rebelling against the overnight hours. i just can’t bring myself to change back to day hours.

not sure if i’ll actually go away this year. last year, i headed out to the island and spent a couple of days near the ocean. this year? not sure. although i’m really needing to be near a large body of water. i want to just lay on the sand and think. the beaches out there (Hamptons) are virtually empty, during the week and especially after Labor Day. i hate going out there by myself though. alas…there is nothing i can do to conjure up another person…

sometimes, i’m okay with this. these days, i’m surrounded by failing relationships, failing marriages… i see the pain, the hurt, the absolute craziness…worst of all, i see fear of an unknown future and of having no control. what people never realize is that you can’t control someone else’s behavior, desire, actions. you can only hope that the committment you made with eachother lasts. that it is built on solid ground and is based on truth.

life does what it does. no matter how much you think you control it.

it is what it is. some fool themselves, others give in to a life full of mediocre…of a life full of okay, when what they really want is a life full of spectacular moments nestled in pretty good.
it’ll rain today. summer is half over. i’ll go out to the island or to the shore armed with a good book, good music, and my own mind.