two 14 hour shifts and one 12 hour overnight. busy. exhausted. supremely fucked up. i left my keys in the front door…
out i go to brave the rush hour world because, i need food. the cat needs food. but it’s always a mistake. something happens at rush hour that causes people to be extra self centered, extra asshole-like. i should have known better not to go out until past 8pm, but, as i said, i needed food…
i make the trip to the store. carry my extra plastic bags to reuse, and my canvas bag. i never take a cart because the aisles are too narrow. i stand in the appropriate line for the number of items i have in the basket.
and then lo and behold…mom with 2 small kids in tow and an inconsolable crying infant not more than 4 months old decides to stand behind me. i heard, in fact, everyone in the store must have heard her enter, because the baby came in crying and cried the entire time i was there, until she left the store..
the store is hot. it’s crowded (5pm). and the prices are outrageous. the crying is getting louder, and as i place my items on the belt, i consider letting her get in front of me just to get this crying child away from me. then i decide not to. why? why should this woman who made a poor choice to go shopping at 5pm at a busy store with 2 small children and a crying infant, why should she get a free pass?
everywhere i’ve worked, people with families get a break. they aren’t asked to work overtime. mother’s to be get to leave early if the morning sickness kicks in. a blind eye is turned when they don’t pull their weight. they get to have holidays off every year. they get tax breaks from the government. god knows, they got a bigger surplus check than i did…
anyhow, the check out lady decides, after 10 minutes of hearing the baby bawling, that i should let this “mother’ go before me. and that’s how it went. i’m tired. stressed. and this “mother” looks at me and asks me, “is this frustrating to you?” and i said “yes, i’ve worked two 14 hour shifts and one 12 hour shift and i’m tired, i’d like to get out of here too”. and to this she replies, “you must not be a mom”.
and this is where the deep primal franny anger boiled on up and out of my ears. i replied, “no, but then i don’t impede on anyone being a mom”. after this “mother” leaves, i said to the check out lady, “don’t ever do this to me again, that lady made the choice to come in here with those kids and i shouldn’t have to pay for it.”
i proceeded to check out, packed my bags, and headed to the parking lot to confront this “mother”. and here i am at a loss for what words were exchanged…only glimpses, she said, “i don’t care that you worked 14 hour shifts”, “don’t ever have kids, you’re an animal” etc. etc. etc.
i arrived at home so angry, i cried.
so, here is where i’ll unload.
i must not be a mom?… you must not have a fucken education or career that you made motherhood all you can do…
don’t have kids, you’re an animal…again, proof you are a dumbass, we’re all animals, you apparently never took biology 101 or possibly failed it.
you know, there are plenty of women out there that are mothers smart enough to wait for “dad” to get home and watch the kids while they do the shopping. there are plenty of women who don’t behave as if the world owes them a free pass because they have children or have the ability to give birth. there are plenty of parents that don’t slack off at work and use the fact that they have a family to whittle all of the overtime work onto their “childless” co-workers. they won’t hog up all of the major holidays, or have sense enough to go on leave when the morning sickness affects their ability and/or willingness to do the job.
this “mother” isn’t part of this population. she goes through life behaving, thinking that it’s all about her and her children…that she is entitled to cut lines, not wait, and get a free pass because she decided to let a sperm fertilize her egg.
last time i checked, i too have those eggs. i too, have breasts with potential to feed. i too, can nurture and care for.. but i stand in line like everyone else. i wait my turn. i don’t behave as if i’m entitled to anything.
what really burns me up, though, is that fucken comment about me not being a mom…i didn’t realize that once you are a mom, you have free license to be the kind of dumbass that brings a screaming infant and two small children into a crowded store and expect to cut the line of people waiting to check out. putting your kids through that, in this heat, doesn’t exactly make you mom of the year…just dumbass of the year.