Mar 092008
 

try to win and suit your needs
speak out sometimes but try to win

lyrics by REM

and in this day i keep finding my life. it’s written down and piled neatly in notebooks on the shelf. i skim through 25. i flinch at 30. i gingerly replace the canadian 2 dollar bill in between the pages. i remember running on the beach along Lake Huron…

i feel the hole. the dark. the little bit of anxiety at how quickly life has gone by. i find myself here. and i know how i got here, but that doesn’t change the fact that despite the hard work, the hurdles i’ve gotten over, there is still something missing and i don’t know what it is…

is it companionship? is it God and his church? is it the lack of a legacy? is it the simple fact that i never quite bargained getting this far and just don’t know what to do when the credits don’t begin to roll?…

there aren’t any tidy endings. no young kisses on the dinner table over a birthday cake. no goodbye hugs, have a good life. no chance to say i miss you or i’ve always loved you. no perfect song…

  One Response to “perfect”

  1. I don’t know what’s missing, but I begin to despair of ever finding it.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.