middle…

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Feb 292008
 

aged. what to do, how to dress, how to behave…

apparently, i just don’t care. i’m sitting here in underarmour wear listening to led zeppelin while having a cup of coffee, on this friday, my day off.

no make-up, no done up nails.

pack my ass away when i consider the polyester stretchy waistline pants.

~~~

another leg doc appt today. if i find no relief, it’ll be my last appt there.
~~~
work was tough this week. i’m (as usual) exhausted.
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middle-aged women: i’m supposed to be unhappy in comparison to the overall population. i’m supposed to be more suseptible to strokes. high stressed, with an ever increasing waistline…okay, so the waistline thing might be occurring, but i’ll soon get a handle on that. as for the rest? well, happiness is relative. i’m happy in the work i do, but i need to have more “after work” time. i’m better off financially, but have no dependents other than my kitty,
i worry about my aging Mom, but have 8 other siblings to rely on…

happiness. i find it where/when i can. i find it in my relatively decent health, in the wonderful pieces of music i possess and can play whenever i choose. i find it in the comfort of this tiny little apt, that is mine alone. in the freedom to come and go as i please with the choice of driving or walking. i find it in the simple fact that after 8 years, 4 trolls, and 2 huge let downs writing here at dd, i’ve made one really good friend and still apparently draw the “past” idiots here to read my entries. may the assholes be annoyed that i continue to write! (you know who you are!)

because: i could be caught up in a dead-end relationship, spending money for lousy sex, living in a damp little basement, regretting the loss of my health and youth while cleaning off the crayon marks left by a little one.

one woman’s heaven, is another woman’s hell.

Feb 232008
 

the sun never showed up.
my guys are going on tour. (where the fuck have i been to miss this important info?)
my cold has gotten worse.
my leg pain has gotten worse.
~~~

it’s almost sunday, soon to be monday. i’m exhausted. and slightly amused. because…

this place is on a mission
rh

talking heads…

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Feb 232008
 

i hate talking politics on such a public forum. but i have to say, if Hillary doesn’t win the democratic nomination, i’m voting republican. there’s something about a person who starts out sounding like a man of the people and then progressively begins to sound like a politician (a talking head)…i can’t trust that kind of person. it’s like they say what they say to try to convince themselves. Hillary has always sounded like Hillary…she hasn’t really changed much…
~~~

i continue the fight against mr. cold. it’s tough when you get called in for an emergency at work though. what to do, but blow the nose, wipe the eyes, and spike the fluid bag…(after having washed your hands of course!) i got home at 4:30am…

got an email from a PA friend i used to volunteer with at a local shelter. great hearing from her.

~~~
the doc appt for my leg was disappointing. i refuse to get an mri of my back, i don’t believe i have a pinched nerve and i think i’m just going to go for the sports medicine doc i set an appt with next month as a back up. i have a tough time believing that i have a pinched nerve that weakened my leg to injury. how in the heck would i have been able to run hundreds of miles (training) AND a marathon without any problems? bottom line is that i injured my leg when i tried to keep myself from falling at work. since my job requires standing for long periods of time, it’s never gotten a chance to heal. i need therapy. i need massage. i need manipulation. i don’t need a shot of steroids or a local anesthetic… i’m so glad i made that back up appt. i need someone who understands sports injuries…because besides not being able to sit for long periods of time, it flares up when i run, specifically when i push off on the leg.
~~~

so, i’m waiting for the sun to do some of the tough work in removing the snow from my car. i’ll be running some necessary errands, because, hey! the cat can’t food shop or return library items… and then i’ll get right back into bed to continue recovering from mr. cold.
~~~

ciao&meow!

Feb 222008
 

we are currently getting pummeled with snow here in NYC.
i am currently getting pummeled with a nasty cold spreading like fire at work.

but things could be worse. i could be one of those schmucks trying to drive in this and end up wrecking the car. thank god they suspended alternate side parking, because if they hadn’t, i would have had to get out to move the car by 8:30 am.

alas, i’ve been home sick for 3 days now. hopefully by the weekend, i’ll be better.

of course, miss kitkat has been like velcro these past few days…i lay on the couch, she nestles in on my chest. i sit at the computer, she climbs up onto my lap. she’s a good nurse that way.
~~~

it’s been torture. not being able to run. i’m beginning to dream about running. today, i have a doc. appt to get my leg fixed. now, i’m not sure if they’ll cancel due to the weather. i’m sure this inactivity is the reason why i’ve been sick more than usual these past few months. my body doesn’t feel like it’s mine anymore….a terrible feeling.

i’m hoping by spring, i have a better functioning left leg. but i may have to put my marathon plans on hold and go for 2009…