light

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Apr 252007
 

baby, baby, baby, light my way…U2

and sometimes it comes with the third glass of wine. clarity. fogginess. who the fuck knows… you just see it for what it is. and you ache. wanting the night to swallow you whole. lull you to sleep. keep you as blind and dumb as a newborn baby. keep you safe from that coldhearted love. he comes and goes as he pleases. never considering the state he leaves you in. drowning slowly and quietly in the cold dark blue. and you go there. you keep going there knowing all too well, you’ll sink like the titanic, heavy and slow. and you hate it, you love it. you live for it, you want to die. a great big circle. and you know you’re a fool. a fool for love.

you fill yourself up with hope and warm fuzzy feelings. but you know how the story ends. you always know. but it doesn’t matter because the stars are shining, you’ve got a nice warm buzz. you lose yourself in the best 3 minute song, you nestle in your pillow and dream fucken on…

i never gave up on breaking out of this two star town…killers

Apr 222007
 

i’m sipping a light corona, i’ve just finished dinner. i’m listening to u2’s walk on, i’m sore as hell. it’s been a tough week. but sunday is here and the weather was fine. warm and sunny. i began my morning with over 6 thousand people, spent an afternoon nap with 2 cats. the evening is slow moving, it drags its feet knowing night will come, then bedtime, then the start of the work week all over again.

happiness?
content.

i’m doing what i’ve wanted to do.
i’m living how i want to live.
i take the highs and lows like Budha on a rollercoaster.

mantra for today?
“i am not a quitter”

alive and well.
how you doing?

Apr 142007
 

i pull up to the front of your driveway, with magic soaking my spine
killers

i’m due. i’m due but good. and i feel like a loaded gun. i feel like the big drop on the mega roller coaster. stomach in my mouth, flames coming out of my ears. i’m due…damn it. i’m…

and it’s coming. the big “monsoon”. we’re all ready, we’ve hit the store for bread and yodels and anything to widen our ever increasing asses and mush brains. we are the dead. we are…

and if only we knew what dogs know. if we only aspired to be as wise as cats…

and i’m here. then i’m not. but i know, i’m really not missing that much. there’s nothing here but words. and sometimes they’re interesting or better with a few beers. sometimes, nothing can save them…not even…

happiness is…

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Apr 012007
 
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