i keep…

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Nov 302006
 

-losing prefab sprout cds and cassettes…jordan the comeback is awesome but i’ve lost both copies…who knows where they are now…probably with morrissey’s viva hate and my first album ever…the lounge lizards…

obscure thoughts, i know i know, but i’ve been up since yesterday. it’s now 5am and i’m on my third beer. and still sober. my stomach is still full from last night’s dinner (2 cheese slices from Ray’s). damned good pizza, but then again, you can’t really run into bad pizza anywhere in the five boroughs…

not sure if it’s tiredness or a little hint of the pending holiday blues that i’m feeling. i love the christmas lights, decorations, etc. etc. but somehow, it brings this sense of sadness…not sure why. i hope we get some snow… i want to walk…

in the bright light city, where flakes seem to come out of nowhere. where i’ve come from nowhere and still belong.

fall

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Nov 192006
 

sharp and biting. clear hurtful blue. tugs at the heart. a parting happening again and again. the songs tell me. the wind too. and all i want is stillness and quiet…for time to stop. to remember lookout points along the hudson, a steep and dangerous backdrop, where a boy seduced a girl…

and keeps breaking her heart.

don’t know why

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Nov 122006
 

there’s no stars up in the sky…

and it is what it is, the blues…hard to kick funk. today that is where i’m at. not sure why. it just is. and you push through it, like a slow long traffic jam or a 15 hour shift, a stormy rainy day, the long visit at a grave…

too much time, not enough time… doesn’t really matter. off i go into the night air with the radio playing low, looking for alleviation, a remedy to low.

peace love & understanding…

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Nov 092006
 

searching for light in the darkness of insanity…elvis..(the other elvis)

well, there you have it. it’s 2:35 am and i finally put the tv on this evening..since last week. alright. the news. times are a changing, there’s a girl in the house. the voice of sanity, while still low, is a heck of a lot more audible. enough of the bullshit that is running the big old house on the hill. let’s get this shit going in a better direction.
~~~

i’ve been jonesing for a clove…and having beers instead. of course for all of the wrong reasons: to relieve stress, get some deep sleep, medicate the anxiety, dull some memories. it could be worse. i could be shooting up in a dark and stinky corner. however, poverty keeps you relatively clean, you tend to splurge on cookies and seriously good italian bread…(the seeded kind).

~~~
does anyone realize how good The Church really were??? dang, i really need to locate a copy of Starfish…
~~~

ah well, here i am. it’s early freakin’ morning…almost 3am. slightly tipsy, belly full of chocolate chip cookies and beer. kind of gross… i am now mentally vomiting.
~~~
seriously. been very busy, picked up an extra shift that needed covering. and i’m wiped out. after about 5 hours of sleep it was to the vet for orangehead’s annual, some script refills, and later on today, more car stuff. days off never really are, are they? can’t wait to finally get the car stuff over… too much money, time, and energy. i might keep my old plate…but who knows, maybe i should just get rid of the last bits of bad karma evidence. i’m glad to be gone from there. glad to be here.

okay, my eyelids are getting heavy…and even Blondie’s One Way or Another can’t can’t influence this. it’s time for bed. to sleep and hope…

that you’re not there in the mist
that you’re there in the mist
waiting or not waiting. walls meeting at the corner.

in between days…

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Nov 072006
 

and long work hours, i sit. i think. dream. about the impossible. and it all turns out fine, despite the numerous loose ends, despite the interferences and interuptions.