Dec 292004

armed with a tall glass of water and not much to say. the words are swimming in passionate notes but they keep going round and round and never let me pin them down. there’s a little bit of everything. that’s always the case at the ending of another year. it’s the grand U2-esque ballad, this year ending moment. full of hope and dread…

and you just have to love it a little, that hope. that fragile little flower holding on to what little bit of dirt hasn’t washed away. that handful of small change thrown into the red kettle during tight times. and smiling child eyes when you say, c’mon, let’s draw…

i hate it. i love it. i’m tired of it. i want it bad. i need it. i want it to go away. i want it to last forever…

and then there’s the dread. just tune into the news. watch the horror…reality-check tv. brings the tears and prayers. the guilt it’s not you or yours. shows the ugly of still not being satisfied with all that you have. you say you need more, but really, it’s that you want more. and they want you to want more, buy more, sell more, shop more, spend more, scam more, use more, waste more etc. etc. etc. tune out…

did you know i miss you? or that i care? i keep it quiet and still because it’s easier that way and it always hurts less.

i want to trip inside your head
spend the day there
to hear the things you haven’t said
and see the things that you might see

somehow, that little delicate flower, whether it takes the shape of hope in a child’s eye, the smile of a grandmother surrounded by all of her children and grandchildren, or a face-lick from a trusty furry friend… those are Love’s atomic bombs…God’s way of evening things out.

where am i today?
i’m right here.
right here.


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Dec 282004
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Dec 232004

yesterday’s misguided comment but i will let it stand as a reminder to myself to never move away from the northeast coast. my patience and tolerance of such arguments is wearing thin. enough is enough is enough…
it’s been pretty quiet here at work and so i’ve gotten lots of stuff done that normally would have taken me longer if there were more people around. walked to work today and couldn’t believe how warm it was. still is, actually…and it’s also raining. i’d much rather have snow but i’m sure i’d feel differently if i had to drive in it.
tomorrow begins a nice long vacation for me. i freakin’ need it. after work, i’m heading downtown to purchase some baked goods from those wonderful Amish vendors, picking up meds for ms. orangehead, and then it’ll be apartment cleaning for the rest of the evening. i hate coming back from a vacation to a messy apartment…mind you, messy for me is dishes in the sink and cat dishes that haven’t been washed for a day…
gotta go. happy holidays.

way to go president bush & co…!

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Dec 222004

your wonderful decision to invade Iraq has yielded one of the worst attacks on American Soldiers to date. seems these guys can’t catch a break:
-they’ve got to soup up their humvees to stay “safer”, and i use the word loosely here…
-their families have to spend $$$ shopping online for equipment because mr. we-go-to-war-with-the-what-we-have rumsfeld is a freakin’ insentive idiot without a damned clue
-they apparently can’t sit down in the mess hall and eat in peace.

are any of the fools in these “red” states feeling the pain yet?
jeers to time magazine for choosing bush as person of the year. what the hell is that about??

how about Mattie Stepanik, a wonderful young boy of 13 who had more wisdom, grace and charity in his pinky than the entire bush family.

now that would have been an honorable choice, not some stubborn texan sending other people’s kids (un-prepared to add insult to injury) off to die in a war and effectively dividing the people in this country.

enjoy your christmas in camp david, mr. president. you might want to hit the confessional on the way to communion though…because,.if you can’t admit you made a mistake to the people of this country, you should, at the very least, admit it to God.