when you sat me in your office with my supervisor and gave me the “work ethic” lecture? do you remember saying that i wasn’t doing my job? or that i wasn’t communicating with my supervisor? remember ms. supervisor, when you mentioned all of the anonymous email complaints you received regarding my work habits? and how when i asked you about the library policy of forwarding complaints to whomever it involved and calling a meeting with said worker…how come you couldn’t produce these emails? how come there was NOTHING either of you could produce to prove all of the crap you were saying about me?
today is the company luncheon to commemorate aniversaries…my 5 year anniversary was last month. i was going to go to the luncheon and receive my certificat etc….but then, the big boss sent me an email stating how proud she was and that she couldn’t wait to go…within the next 5 seconds i emailed HR and canceled my rsvp
today, the big boss comes into my office asking if i’m going to the lunch and i said no. she spends at least 15 minutes trying to convince me..
-it’ll be nice
-you’ll get a certificate
-people will say nice things about you
(you mean the same things you said when you sat me in your office back in august after i complained about doing someone else’s job? you mean the crap my supervisor said about those bogus anonymous emails?)
you know. this is what makes the planet suck. hypocrits like the ones i work with. as if i’d sit and break bread with women who are partially responsible for my seeking therapy and possibly medicating myself with antidepressants. i owe my misery to you both and that lazy jerk who won’t stand up and be a man and do his job.
that you’d think i’d go to make you look good, just like you used my marathon success to your advantage by posting the results at the front desk. little do the students know, not one damned person said good luck my last day at work before the marathon. no well wishes, no nothing…so you DON’T get to be proud. you don’t get to shake my hand or slap me in the back. i don’t need it, don’t want it, and wouldn’t believe it if my life depended on it.
i hope they’re having a great time explaining why i’m not at the luncheon to the various busy-bodies who will be there.
and here ya go, a nice Bronx Cheer.
so. i made an appointment to see a psychiatrist so that i can numb myself to the world and get through this sorry little time i spend at this pathetic job.
don’t see why i just can’t walk around with a bottle of Jose Cuervo and take swigs as needed…
-also, made an appointment for my first driving lesson. these lessons will probably end up costing as much as the used car i’m planning on buying.
-and am sort of planning on running a short race next week because running is the only thing i feel i have control over…and i feel good after a run (mentally and physically) and it’s a great excuse to indulge in Ben&Jerry’s…
i’m feeling pretty lousy, but lousy worker that i am, i came in to get work done that needs to be out of here by monday. if i was someone else, i would have called in the rest of the week.
regardless, i have certain standards to live up to. i do, what i say i’m going to do.
i’m looking forward to brushing up on large animal medicine, will go through old notes and books and be ready for the practicum. just an hour ago, i was thinking…”i’d rather be hanging out with horses and cows…”.
love this entry! 5/21/09