Apr 302002

always a slight adjustment in how you react to words. 2 weeks ago, they were like parasites, burrowing underneath skin, hell bent on charging up a phagocytic response to all the sick flesh…


i go to sleep and wake in the morning and you are not part of this.

i pray:

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things i can not change

courage to change the things i can

and the wisdom to know the difference

our bodies are fragile, it is amazing more doesn’t go wrong, don’t be so arrogant to think you’ll live forever, just because you’re young…

i could deflect all the negative words chosen to accompany the name “franny” but it’s a waste of my time and energy. it just doesn’t matter.


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Apr 282002

Love is repaid by Love alone

an officer’s badge

a square of his girl’s little blankie

a private note from his daughter the nun

a ’98 world series yankee cap, army pen

and rosary beads

a lover’s ring that held laughter and heartache

in the hollow parts

pictures and drawings from his youngest grand daughters

one said he’s flying with wings

high school graduation pics from the collegebound girl

a penn state button on his lapel

a string from grandson’s viola, it plays sweet melodies

a season opener ticket, yankees vs. toronto blue jays

one silver moon/star earring and my favorite picture of us laughing

you hold it for me daddy, i’ll be coming for it soon

one baseball card of his youngest son, awesome lefty pitcher

and one salute from my faraway man

mommy left the 50th anniversary picture, what a grin you had

she also left red kisses on the inside of your white tee shirt.

you left us love and laughter

and a love for the argument

a strong spirituality

and a hint of mischievousness…

Apr 212002

breathe out so i could breathe you in


you’ll be my greatest work, the wonderful inspiration, platinum love

nothing can bring a chill to me, not even lady spring wearing a coat…

you’ll be my beatles sunday, my yellowsubmarine taking me to strange places

where i might have never been…


i’m mooning and i’m dreaming and i’m planning although the big guy says what is. but what good is getting up in the morning when there’s nothing but darkness everywhere? no, i’ve had my fill of darkdownlow, that trilogy has gotten its end.

do you wake up and say, “i’ve made it again” ?? do you see a clean blackboard, or is it all chalked up still? yesterday is gone, where are you going today? i’ve got my shorts on, my muddy running sneaks, a handful of milk duds moshing in my mouth, i’m running up and down hills, you’re stuck on waking up…

Apr 192002

i simply am. i guess it’s partly the great weather and today i registered for my small animal practicum. i’m graduating next month! it’s really really sinking in that i’m almost done. i’m nervous and excited and the future is looking really wonderful. annoying things will always be around the corner, it’s the slight adjustment you make that helps you pass by them unscathed.

sort of like tai chi. move out of the way of the approaching opponent and help them get to where they are going…which is past you and usually onto the floor.

heck. i’m happy and proud. and excited. and scared to death that i won’t remember a dang thing i learned in school. but i said to myself before i started that i would do this. finish this. and do meaningful work. and if it’s helping granny say goodbye to her companion of 20 years in a humane and loving way, i’m there. if it’s cleaning up the little bit of poop so that fido can sleep in a clean cage, i’m there. if my hands are the ones to bag a little guy and put him in the freezer until the pet cemetary people come, my hands will do it with respect and my lips will say a prayer that the soul travels way up high.

i’m rambling.

but i’m in love.

i love.


and myself.