bed she said

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Aug 262001

and lo and behold…i have a bed. 2 years on a sofabed has been a pain in the ass, neck, shoulders, etc…

i’ve even got a mattress pad! new sheets! (gifts from my bro and sis in law) 2 new pillows! (gifts from janey) i paid my dues with broken down pillows and that poor sofa bed…

even the cats are respecting that bed, they haven’t jumped on him yet, they know that the big cat “me” gets the first lay. i can’t wait to just fall asleep on a normal bed and get a good night’s sleep. it’s been way too long…


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Aug 252001

september…or a year ago today, when i was 24 true bit color, flying zipcodes through the air…there is nothing today. nothing tinting the scene of waking up or tucking myself into bed…

soon the clock will start its ticking, i’ll be metronome girl..with lists of specific tasks and a schedule that’ll leave me half dead. one and a half weeks left before it all begins, with a duck visit sandwiched in between.

don’t quite feel so bad these days. i guess i’ve always known myself. it’s when pasty little hands try to mold me into something far from who i am…that trouble makes an appearance, puts a cigarette in my mouth and dark half moons cradling these eyeballs like a weary mother at 3am…

i was me at number 9, i was her at 16, i was lost at 23, and cut in line at 35. the magic 36 is peeking through, i am a woman now, aren’t i? am i a woman now?

sometimes i want it over, sometimes i don’t ever want to end, i want to stay connected to a summer breeze, a hawk gliding on air…

is God happy with me? am i his little roller coaster ride? in highs and lows and always swimming from this planet to that? was he happier with the little 5 year old face, staring out a project window at the sun’s reflection, like a burning bush? did he watch over the foolish 21? who rode in backseats of driving potheads? who climbed canal locks to sit on hard rocks and toast a screwdriver with her gin and tonic? did he hang his head in shame when 35 gave everything to a demon for fleeting moments of fake happiness? is his hand around my shoulders as i walk by the cigarette store emptyhanded, drag my hopelessness to the gym in return for rosy cheeks, or sit here removing all past traces, and walking on, walking on…

Aug 242001

reading sierra magazine and i feel small. bickering and snickering over silly ass things when people in Bolivia are being charged to use their own water…a picture that smacked me upside the head, the monthly wake-up call that says, “franny, you’re a lucky girl, you’ve got it good, you’ve got food in the fridge, you’ve got the luxury to sit in the dark and sulk…

a picture of a young Mexican boy with a scraggily herd of goat scavenging through the dump for food….

funny how we can reach deep in the ole pockets for that powerball ticket, raise the stakes to $300 million, but funds are lacking/depleted for: feeding the homeless and poor, no funds for education, (especially health education in poorer countries) China has been secretly suffering an AIDS epidemic…made the ny times…

i’m not unreasonable, i know there are many who give their time and money…i know, i know. what i try to do is live sparingly, without so much waste…limit what i buy, turn the damn lights off when i’m not using them, turn the water off when i’m brushing my teeth, do laundry twice a month and not use the dryer on my color clothes…

i need to do more.

i need to remember how good i have it really.

i’m a lucky and foolish girl.

okay…i’m an orthodox quaker! (HA!)

OB oh my!

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Aug 242001

is it a full moon?

why is it that i’m the one to notice that the security system isn’t working and that books are flying out of here like free condoms at a high school???

why is it that i’m the one to clean the filter of the security system, screw up my computer screen once more with that high pitched hurt the dog’s ears sound and find the key to turn it on and off???

why is it that the only staff member sharing circulation desk duty with me today has the fucken balls to say she’ll be calling me to cover for her more often because she has her period???

surely mother nature is at my side today, for i could reply to such utter nonsense by stating that i’m sporting ob’s too.


Aug 232001

Dear Ms. W,

I would like to take this opportunity to let you know

that I have never in my wildest dreams dealt with

more incompetent idiots than I have when dealing with

Sears Customer Service agents. Firstly, does Sears

Corporation require brain usage from their employees?

Or is the ability to remove the telephone from its cradle

enough? For the last few days I have had the displeasure

of being told inaccurate and outrageously false information

regarding an order I purchased online. I understand

that it is important for an old dinosaur like Sears to

try to keep up with the new kids on the block. What

Sears fails to understand is that if it wants to be

progressive and offer online shopping to potential

customers, it needs to update its online pages with

CORRECT information. The delivery date for the

merchandise I purchased online read 8/31/2001, and

proceeded to change to 9/24/2001 and now is 8/25/2001.

I’ve spoken to three customer service representatives.

ALL of them gave me incorrect information. The last

one I spoke to today confirmed my belief that SEARS

hires profound idiots. She sent me on a wild goose

chase in order to change a delivery date. She said UPS

was delivering my merchandise and that I would have to

call them to reschedule delivery. Needless to say, it

is not UPS that will be delivering my merchandise.

How can ANY Sears Customer Service Rep. not know what

company is shipping merchandise and when it will

arrive at my door? One Customer Service person said

that they would “Leave a note on my door” if I wasn’t

available when I asked if I should expect a call

alerting me to a delivery time frame. I paid an $84

delivery charge to be subjected to a NOTE LEFT ON MY

DOOR and no call? No wonder Sears is listed in the

rogue gallery at Consumer Affair’s website. I think i

should be given a medal for enduring such an amazing

amount of bullshit from Sears and bouquet of Freesia

to hide the stench that permeates the air whenever I

see the name Sears.

absolutely unsatisfied customer,

(my fucking morning so far…)