I have read the Bible and studied with others at church since 1999, and have found the truth to be profound. There is a lot of information to understand, gather, and share what I know and go on with my day. I do not think I am spiritually confused, but I do feel scared right now. My heart is troubled. Let me do my best to explain.
My heart is troubled right now. I cannot shake the fear that was put in my heart the past several hours to this moment. It began last night before I had fallen asleep briefly on the couch while watching Murder, She Wrote. I had awakened suddenly to the TV still on, and I missed two shows. At 2 AM, after the show was over, I traipsed to the bedroom, but I could not get back to sleep immediately. That was when I had found that fear had taken over my whole being. I cannot explain it very well. The idea of wanting to be one of God’s children, being one of God’s children, and the idea of Satan getting a hold of me, and I do not get to heaven becoming a permanently lost being, and not seeing my loved ones again. That is as descriptive as I can get. That kind of fear is Satan at work on my weaknesses. The idea of not being one of the saved scares me that much right now.
Does anyone else have this feeling? The truth is out there, and many other people are going to see the truth and turn to God, and become warriors of the truth. The idea of me not being one of them is frightening. Satan knows how to push the buttons to our weakness. He is happy that he can frighten me. He has got me going on this rant. I am not perfect, and I admit that God is perfection.
When I get this scared, I do not remember to pray or talk to God. I admit that I am imperfect. The idea of God knowing me before I was in my mother’s womb is impressive. He has placed me where I am for a reason. Grabbing the horns of a bull and hanging on for eight seconds can feel like a lifetime.