October 31, 2019

My Letter/Prayer to Jesus

Dear Jesus,
Good morning and thank you for another beautiful day. I see that it is already snowing outside. Please watch over my friends, family, and workers who take care of me as they travel from one place to another today and always. I have dialysis today, and my happiness of getting there safely is planned according to DKF. She is a safe driver and always plans to be.
I know and understand that I can have a very thick skull sometimes and be very stubborn in my ways. Will you please forgive me for that? Thank you. I am set in my ways. I have been up since 3 AM so far today, and I know what it means to sit quietly where I am right now and give you some time before my day begins. Yes, I am having one of those sleepless nights, or I am sleeping very little. Why not get some things done on the computer and spend some time with you before my day begins? It’s a good idea. I believe so. I can always go to bed early tonight and get some rest before traipsing out tomorrow, walking at the grocery store or mall. Whatever is decided.
Patience is something I have to master it yet daily. I wish that I would have waited until this afternoon when I get back from dialysis to have upgraded my computer so I could spend more time with you. I do not always believe that five minutes is enough. I need more time to delve into the Bible and look at my favorite verses. Now that DKF is not here until 7 AM, I find spending time with you is great because I am alone without company over. With company, it is tough to spend time quietly with you. If I were at my mom’ s/dad’s place, I would be able to find a quiet area here to spend time with you. My parents would understand fully. I think they would not be sure. Now that my computer is updated, here I am. No, not here to please you or me. I am here now. I need to be here.
I want to thank you again for another beautiful day. The weather may be different outside right now because we have snow on the ground right now from snow falling. It is going to be a good day. Please watch over the patients in the hospital and at the dialysis center who are having dialysis today and always as well as the technicians and nurses who take care of us. The hard work they do does not get past me without incident that they work very hard. What techs and nurses do is not an easy job. It is a routine for them, and it has been routine for me since April 24, 2019, to be dialyzed three days a week. I also would like to pray for the ill and sick. It is always your will that the health of patients, and what I want is different sometimes. When I do pray and talk to you, I find it easier to write than speak. I hope it is not a coward’s way out from not verbally talking to you because I do pray verbally sometimes (out loud) to teach me to speak better with others around me without getting my nerves frazzled. Once again, I pray for safe travels for everyone today and always. There have been so many accidents in Wisconsin now that I have lost count. My heart goes out to the families of loved ones and their friends as I lost friends in a car accident a few years ago now myself. I also know, as it happens every day, that I hear sirens for some reason or another wherever I am, and whatever is happening out there, I ask through prayer that you watch over the involvement the reason the sirens are going. Thank you for listening to my prayer today.
My health, you, Bing Crosby, my friends, workers, and family are critical to me. May your will be what it is for me. You know what is important to me and why. Please guide me today and every day by showing me what is important, a need for me to read, watch, and do. I am yours to mold. Jesus Christ, always, and God’s will be done today and always. Amen
Love, Kristi

October 26, 2019 – 2

Dear Jesus,

As daylight draws to a close we Wisconsin natives are being rained upon.  It is indeed wet outdoors right now.  I did not believe that it was raining out until I heard the pitter patter of rain against the living room windows.  It is amazing that it rains as much as it has this summer and fall season this year.  I do not mind the rain nor do I mind getting wet, but I do not like to be soaked to the point I have to change clothes when super wet.  I also do not like damaging rains with thunderstorms and bright lightning.  It hurts the eyes and ears, and it scares Bing Crosby the Cat.

Now with the sun fully at rest for the night, I am hoping to stay up later tonight to get some things done after I spend time with you.  I would like to thank you for a successful dialysis day.  I am glad that my blood pressure was founded not to be as high as the machine was stating at 185/100 or a little higher.  It was in the blood pressure cuff.  I was using the wrong one until the last twenty minutes or so of dialysis.  It was scary for a while, but I knew the technicians knew what they were doing.  Thank you for guiding the workers in the right direction to resolve my issue at hand.

I was not able to see KB today because he was with his Dad, but I got to see TB (KB’s Mom) for worship when I got home.  In fact, unknown to me until I walked into my apartment, TB was behind me.  That was a lovely surprise since I did not have my phone with me at dialysis today.  I accidentally left it at home all day.  That was something I wish I did not do.  Sometimes I make unwise choices or forget.  Today I set my phone down to put on my brace and shoes and never picked up my phone until I got home.  I had a wonderful time with TB here today.  Worship was awesome!

When I am dialysis on Sabbath I find it hard to sit still and concentrate.  Watching TV on Saturdays gives me a chance to relax and be comfortable while being hooked up to a machine for 3 1/2 hours.  Please believe me that I am not loving you less.  I do know that I need to find something else to do during my time on Saturdays and I was wondering if you would help me find something better to do.  I want to obey you.  I want to be obedient to you.  Thank you, Jesus.

Love, Kristi

October 26, 2019 – 1

Dear Jesus,

At 5:46 AM I am up and about ready for my day.  It is a dialysis day.  I thought getting up at 5:30 AM this morning would help me get started with God before my day began after not doing so for such a long time.  I know you understand that I would prefer to be sitting in a church pew Sabbath mornings than sitting in a dialysis chair for 3 1/2 hours, but I do understand that my health requires dialysis 3x a week and Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday is open for me at 9:15 AM to 1:15 PM at this time.  When an opportunity opens to go on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, please let me know through the workers there.  You know my schedule with DKF is important to keep as well so that I can get my care with her.  We just have to find the right hours in order to switch.  Until then I will wait patiently even though the idea of missing church on Sabbath took a while to get through my stubborn streak.

As my day continues, dialysis is not that far away.  Please watch over my church family and friends today at church as they have praises, songs, worship, and potluck in your honor.  Also watch over the patients at the dialysis center all day that also includes me and the workers who are taking their job very seriously tending to all of us.  I know the machine I use for dialysis and I do not always get along, but this week has been very good and rewarding in my favor.  I get anxious and start questioning a lot when the machine alarms all the time.  I would like today to be quiet.  Please forgive me if I am selfish in any way about my dialysis going smoothly.  I want another good day.  I do appreciate the hard work of the technicians, the nurses, and the other workers that come and go at the center.  Thank you for listening to me.

As I sit here and speak to you this morning I am easily distracted by the phone, stuff on my computer, and what is going on in my head.  Why can I not have a better concentration level when I spend time with you?  It is annoying me to no end.  It has taken me more than three hours to write/talk you the way I know how to the best.

Love, Kristi