Burned again :(

Hurts really bad being heartbroken again. This is the second time round you know. Thought this one person felt the same way so I took a chance and I got burned. It hurts because he is all I think about now.

I knew I shouldn’t been looking they say when you find the one usually happens when you least expect it. I believe that it’s just I’ve fallen for this one particular person.

I know I’ll never forget him though. All I can do now is never to see or meet him ever again. It’ll be hard but something I have to do. I have to avoid him at all costs.

With this experience now I trully feel that happy ending are never meant for me. At this point I give up on Love forever. I don’t want to love anymore if this is how I’m gonna feel for the rest of my life.

When I was younger I always dreamed of my King and how it would be like to live happily ever after with a career and kids but reality comes along and that will never happen, hate to be this way but that’s how my life is going so far.

I feel so stupid for thinking he just might feel the same about me. Was I wrong. People say he’s a nice guy but I knew not to buy it. He’s not, he’s just a big jerk.

Well, should head to bed getting about to be that time. Good night everyone.

I’m home and I’m bored

The things I have to sacrifice in order to save $$$$$$ but in the end it’ll all be worth it. Work was okay only had one void today. Bought a maxi dress but it’s too long for me so I have to go to an alteration place to see if they’ll shorten it for me. I know of a place but hopefully they still do that.

The fair is coming up this friday but I’m gonna go with the fam bam of course. I’m sure I’ll have to pay for my self and everything which is cool cause I’m a big girl I can support my self don’t need anybody paying for me. I only go for the food and the little shops they have anyways. Hopefully it’ll be fun.

I can’t stop thinking about this guy I’ve developed a crush on. I didn’t even mean to it just happened from the moment I first laid eyes on him. What are going to do. It feels like he ignores me you know but maybe I’m just over reacting because people say he’s such a good guy. Oh well if it’s meant to be fate will bring us together.

I’m so full I did bad on my diet I ate chinese ugh right! On top of that since it’s hot and all I’ve been drinking lots of sweet tea, soda, water and whatever there is in the fridge I can drink you know. Either it’s too hot or too cold I’m never satisfied, I guess no one is either.

Well that is all for now I just had to vent!!!

I’ve Fallen For You

Don’t know why I feel this way
You are all I think about everyday
Though you never notice me 
I know for us it might never be
I try to forget about you 
But I just don’t know what to do
Please forgive me for what I feel
Boy I’m so into you, I’m just keepin it real
Though we’ve never spoken 
I know I could never have you and it feels as if my heart has already broken
So I wait for the day I forget this silly crush with fantacies in my head of what could never b
 I’m here alone in my room wondering could a great guy like you ever like a girl like me
No it’s just wishful thinking you would feel the same 
You don’t even know my name
You know I have this wish I could be your forever 
Reality comes along truth is that wish won’t come true it’ll  be never

One can’t get it and the other thinks she knows everything

Man what is up with all the new trainees at my job. I sure encounter different ones all the time. One lady can’t get what color green means and other one’s gettin mad cause my boss has me make sure she’s putting in the right depts. She’s all like why are you being my shadow. I’ve already been for a week I know everything. Man what a strong personality.

I also notice she sorta has a little attitude she’s not showing yet. I hope it doesn’t come out or she won’t last long. Never show your bad side at work it bad for business and the work place.

I’m so exhausted I almost took a nap. Not this time cause last night my dumb A** couldn’t go to sleep till 1:30 am. I snuck out with my lil bro and went to am pm and got a melon drink. It was supposed to be icees but I changed my mind and my brother did too. I even got some gas while we were there.

It’s so boring here at the house. Especially without a significant other. The lifestyle changes is difficult for me still. I wonder if I’ll ever be happy, I wonder if I’ll ever get to be with that one who’ll grow old with me and stay with me forever. Reality comes alone and it’s the exact opposite 🙁 In reality I know that day might never come.

First day back

My first day back was good. Only had two voids today. Can’t believe I almost ruined my new phone by leaving it in the car in the heat of course. Good thing I got it out in time.

I have to show up to work tomorrow so I can watch the new girl on the register. I guess she’s sorta messing up but she catches on fast I heard. At least she’s a fast learner.

I’m so exhausted from working today can’t believe it. I’m feeling real tired. Wish my health was normal I’d probably get something good to eat but what can I do I gain wait even if I only eat a little.

I have polycystic ovarian syndrome. Cysts blocking my ovaries so that I don’t have menstruation. Therefor making me loose my eyesight, gain weight, fatigue and is associated with diabetes. Yup that’s my life.

I decided to taken upon my self to take better care of my body. Trying to loose the weight doesn’t work anyway but it’s doing something such as when I eat healtier and not like a pig anymore. I’m proud of my effort, that’s all that matters to me.

Well pretty tired that’s all the enery I have for right now, later!

Opening up a new chapter

Been home all day. Sad isn’t it. Have to go back to work starting tomorrow and guess what I open. Well my friend and I, her kids are having movie night at her house. It should be good. She cooks bomb can’t wait.

🙁 I’m getting fat. Trying not to eat as much but there’s too many good food I can’t help it what are going to do. I don’t feel healthy, I don’t feel good about my self.

Hard opening up a new chapter in your life. It’s like you have to start over again. I don’t want to get so down but why do I feel so empty inside. There’s a guy I’m talking to but he’s on the other side of the world. To be honest I don’t feel the vibes with him. There’s another interest at heart that’s who I feel the vibes with but he doesn’t like me back :(. Never even talked to him. They say he’s a friendly guy but he ignores me. Oh well nothing I can do about it.

Where to start my new life without the one I had given my all to. Be honest the love has gone away not completely but it has. I have so many things in my head I can’t figure it out. Oh boy it’s gonna be one hell of a ride starting over again isn’t but I have a feeling that it’ll all be worth it in the end I just have to have patience 🙂


I was over at a friend’s house yesterday. All of a sudden I go to check my phone and see this message(6.25) I look at the number and it’s my ex. I was wtf is this. I finally realized that he was being slick trying to say Happy Anniverssary. He couldn’t even remember the of our ex anniverssary. This guy and I were together for 5 1/2 years. It’s supposed to be 7/25. I can’t believe him.

I’m like really after 6 months your just gonna come out of the blue and text me. Wow the was a rude awakening, trying to be slick so that your new girlfriend won’t be able to see so you can make up some dumb excuse when she finds out you texted me.

Come on it’s just so overrated you know. I showed my friend and she laughed. She texted him to leave me alone for me. I didn’t want to deal with. I don’t want the drama you know. I’d rather just forgive and forget. It’s hard but life is treating me pretty good so far it would be wrong to reply for no reason. It’s over.

Me and Shanny

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Isn’t it cute my friend took it of us at her house. I’m so glad we’re talking again I missed her so much! I feel so fat right now I’m dieting but can’t exercise cause I don’t have the tv video cord gonna have to get one soon cause I don’t feel right when I’m not fit it doesn’t feel healthy 🙁

Go Harrrryyyy!

Man told my self that I’d save up my money but here it goes just had to see Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part Two in IMAX. Go Harryyyy! It was awesome cost like $42 buckaroos! Then had to take the fam bam to lunch another $24 buckaroos, had to get gas.

Afterwards to visit my friend in lake la which was so worth it to me she’s been there for me always and true friendship is hard to find these days. Long drive up there but surprised only took 15-20 minutes to get there. Had a good time. Didn’t stay for too long or dinner cause can’t see in the dark that good

Think I need new glasses though I’ve been considering contacts anybody got any info by wearing them your self. I’d rather hear it from people who have been wearing them for a long while than just going ahead getting contacts you know really appreciate it.

Why is it I always fall in love so quickly and never able to get that person out of my mind. I really hate that about my self. Trying to forget about this guy I’ve never even talked to but I can’t. I’m such a nerd! Why do I always end up liking the guy that never likes me back my love life sucks.

I felt uncomfortable, rejection is the worst feeling

Went to church with my friend today. I like it, not all boring. Just some of the people from there aren’t as friendly as I thought would be, that was the only thing that made me feel uncomfortable. All in all it was a good service.

Dunno why I’m saying this but there’s this crush I have but turns out he doesn’t feel the same way about me. Rejection is the worst feeling ever you know especially if you’ve been hurt as much as I have. Whatever it’s just a crush right I just have to get over him.

Started talking to my friend again I feel better and some weight off of my shoulders because I missed my friend I hope that we can continue our friendship since we’ve known each other for a long time, highschool actually so our friendship means a lot to me. For that I’m happy 🙂

Tomorrow I am going to make it my agenda to see Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2. Can’t wait, been waiting to see it since I’ve heard about coming out. I’ll even drag my lil brother out of bed.