Plotting and scheming…

I’m plotting and scheming to find a way to get him into my life, and perhaps into bed. He’s plotting and scheming to find a way to get his girlfriend to want to move to Michigan with him.

“Whatcha doin’, boy?” Carl greeted Vince from the customer side of the counter.

“Whatcha doin’, girl?” Vince shot back.

I had to smile at the young, flamboyantly gay manager at McDonald’s calling Carl “girl”.

Another rainy day, and he shows up. Three weeks to the day since the last time I saw him there, a rainy day also.

He decided to “hang out” at McDonald’s this afternoon because he got tired of sitting around his apartment by himself, watching stuff on Netflix.

Well, dude, that’s your fault. I’m ready and willing… and have been waiting oh, so patiently for you to hang out with me. But you ignore me.

Carl wants to move back to Michigan, “where my friends are.” Hey, you know, I could make a pretty good friend if you’d only give me the chance.

A little while later, after Carl had left, it was still raining rather heavily and I couldn’t leave, so I walked up to the counter and ordered two apple pies to go with the unsweetened iced tea I already had.

“I want to get out of here,” I said to the young female cashier, “But it’s raining too hard.”

We talked about the weather and she mentioned she’d seen me at the library. She takes her kids there sometimes.

Of course I can make conversation with her easily. I don’t want to date her. There’s no anxiety nor pressure to feel. It’s just casual.

I wonder how different my life might be had I not a trace of self consciousness or social anxiety. Some people don’t. I don’t know how they do that.