Today’s appointment went swimmingly.

The place is nice… Amber and her family (herself, husband, two kids… they’re African-American) are very personable. They work in the restaurant business, evenings, although Amber works as a freelance writer at home during the day as well. There’s also a gay male housemate living with them whom I didn’t get a chance to meet today.

Amber said I’m the most “normal” prospective tenant she’s met… she likes me, and said the room is mine if I want it.

I have a very good feeling about this prospective deal… however, not wanting to rush into anything, I asked her for a couple days to think it over. We agreed that I would give her a definite answer by Tuesday morning.

We’d do a month-to-month thing. I asked her if she wanted something short term or long term, she said it was up to me, but would love it if it turned out to be long term.

The room I’d have is carpeted — grey — and has a steam heat radiator (how I loved feeling that heat radiating from it!) and some kind of portable air conditioner device that sits on the floor and you pour cold water into it. Interesting. There’s also a ceiling fan. At the moment the only furniture in the room is a small chair, but Amber says she has an air mattress and a small dresser and maybe a small table she could move into the room immediately, plus more furniture she could move later from her other house on the opposite side of town should I desire it.

I am a bit concerned as there’s only one bathroom for so many people, but Amber said they all work evenings and shower just before work, so if I wanted to shower in the mornings, I’d have the bathroom all to myself.

Although I’d told her I’d likely stay to myself and out of sight most of the time, she did say I’d be welcome sometimes to watch movies in the living room with the family, and even eat dinner with them at times.

The place is a little further from grocery stores than I’d like — but I think it’s manageable. She said she could give me rides to buy groceries if I let her know in advance, but I really want to be independent and not bum rides all the time.

Anyway, John doesn’t know any of what I’ve been up to this past week… I hope it’s not too much of a shock to him when he finds out.


What’s weird, however, is that even though I have a very good feeling about today’s appointment, and even though I want to get out of John’s place so very badly, a part of me is feeling anxiety because I’m really resistant to change — and to anything that disrupts my normal routine. It makes absolutely no sense, I know, but sometimes I have a hard time letting go of the status quo. I was forced to do so last year, and it pained me oh, so much. Even though this would definitely be a big step in a better direction, I’m feeling a bit of that pain again.