Have seen him three days in a row now, but we haven’t spoken.

Saturday evening, he hosted the Lakewood Public Cinema movie. I had arrived early and, after selecting my seat, decided I’d better hit the restroom before the movie started. Walked right past him in the back of the room on my way out the doorway, and he gave me this unreadable look, but didn’t speak. Same a few minutes later when I came back in.

He’s in the Reference Room right at the moment. In between computer sessions a little while ago I walked past there to use the restroom. He was all the way over on the other side of the room, probably more than forty feet away, and he turned his head and looked at me as I walked past. He never does that from such a distance. Again, I was unable to read it.

I feel like I’m acting in my own movie or music video, which I’m also watching but just picking up bits and pieces and can’t hear any dialogue, and not certain what’s going on.

It’s like there’s suddenly this “thing” between us… like some sort of longing tinged with animosity — which itself is based on nothing. Nothing at all.

All of a sudden I find myself thinking I’m more likely to end up marrying Prince Josef-Emanuel of Liechtenstein than I am to ever get to see “this” guy socially outside this milieu.

Of course, perhaps everything is just all in my head, and none of it is real.

1 thought on “Perplexed”

  1. So hard to read. I would let it go . . . see what happens next time you are around him. You will begin to see if he is wanting to avoid you on purpose or if he just had a lot going on that day. It could be nothing at all.

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