I had not interacted with him in three weeks, since that awkward exchange and apology when he didn’t want to wait on me nor speak to me.
Since then, it just has never worked out that he’s the next crew member available when it’s my turn to order or get a refill. So I wasn’t sure if he was still mad at me or not. I can’t say he deliberately avoided me those times. He’s pretty much just ignored me.
There was that time a week ago when he left for the day, and on his way out the door he kept turning his head in my direction, looking and staring at me repeatedly. But there was no exchange between us then.
Today he did fill my cup when it was time for my iced tea refill. But a young black woman was the one who had waited on me when I requested it, and Matthew just put the cup aside for her to give to me instead of bringing it to me himself.
Afterward he left early again — out of uniform and in street clothes — and again, after exiting, he turned his head in my direction repeatedly, toward where I was sitting at the front window, and stared at me repeatedly. Like last week.
And then he waved.
You could have knocked me over with a feather. I waved back. I hope he noticed me doing so.
I don’t know what to make of all this. All the staring… I wonder if he really is a closet case.
Last week I found out where he catches the bus home. Maybe I could time it so I’m there at the bus stop, and very casually approach him and try to talk to him? If I do, it has to look like an accidental “bump into”, and not come across like I’m following or stalking or harassing him.
I just want to be on friendly terms with him again. Nothing more at this point. I just want some closure and some peace. I can’t stand loose ends. I never could.