Crazy Day at Work

It was a crazy day at work.  Which is very rare! lol  The end of UAT is tomorrow and I ended up finding a bunch of bugs with one of our projects so that got some people riled up and anxious.  But, they were not show stopper bugs, so it was alright.  Also, Craig just quit last week and only gave the team 1 day’s notice so we are trying to play catch-up since he didn’t give everyone all of his documentation and left his functional specs in a bad state.  I also had a 1:1 lunch meeting with M so I took the opportunity to tell him about the frustrations of testing Craig’s project since the specs aren’t correct.  Although M is not perfect, the really excellent thing about him is that he seems to genuinely listen to me when I talk about my frustrations.  Also, he told me during lunch how much he appreciated what I do and that he wouldn’t know what to do without me on the team.  That felt nice :)

I finished watching 1 Litre of Tears last night.  Wow.  What a tragic story.  I have been watching it over the course of 3 days and each of those 3 days I’ve felt like I was in a haze, constantly thinking about the main character, Aya, and her disease and what her life must have been like.  It was so unfair to her and I couldn’t make sense out of that in my head.  I also really struggle with making sense of the huge amount of human suffering that goes on in the world.  Not counting all of the genocides and wars and famines, but just thinking about all of the people out there suffering with painful ailments and diseases.  Those people are everywhere you look.  Even in my own life, I could name several people who have suffered with some painful disability or disease.  And yet the world takes little notice of these people.  We listen to their stories briefly, say “oh my that’s terrible”, and then two minutes later we’re talking about what we’re going to eat for dinner or what shirt we’re going to wear tonight.  Not that taking 3 hours out of your day to sit and feel bad about someone’s situation is going to help anything, but….. I don’t know…. I just feel like we’re not giving them enough consideration.

8 thoughts on “Crazy Day at Work

  1. I enjoyed your entry. I am 46 years old and have a condition called cerebral palsy and had a kidney transplant 28 1/2 years ago that is now beginning to show signs of growing old and tired, and another transplant will be needed in about a year or so and I will be back on dialysis once again. I have to thank my mother for giving me such a good kidney and have done so every year since the transplant. I was 17 1/2 years old when I had my first transplant.

    You talk about others who have disabilities and other issues in your journal here and I am impressed with your thoughts and openness about your feelings. You write well.

    • Hi Kristi. Thank you for your kind comments :) I wasn’t aware that cerebral palsy also affected internal organs. How else does CP affect you? I cringed when mentioned having to get another kidney transplant and then dialysis. I truly hope that goes well for you. I’m sure it’s frightening to think about another surgery and more dialysis. I had a small biopsy procedure done last year and I was nearly having a panic attack in the days and hours leading up to it! God bless your mother for giving you a kidney! Though I’m sure she did it gladly with you being so young at the time. Best wishes. I hope to hear from you again soon :)

      • Thank you so much. My CP has not affected my first kidneys to fail and I needing a transplant at age 17. I was born premature by 2 months and was only 3 lbs 3 ozs. My kidneys that failed are a mystery. This transplanted kidney is failing after 28 1/2 years because of its age and it is in a foreign body – mine and not my mom’s so we have been tracking the kidney’s prognosis through blood tests for the past several years since the transplant.

        Do not panic when you have a biopsy because biopsies will show what is going on and I, too, panicked for the first several weeks but the day of the transplant I was ready to go find some answers to my kidney’s decline in protein/creatinine levels. I have a wonderful transplant team. The idea of being back on dialysis and needing another kidney transplant – God willing – I am going to continue to fight.

        • Oh I see. It’s crazy – even with all of the advances in medicine and technology, there are still many things we cannot figure out about the human body. You have a much stronger mindset than I do! Even small medical procedures freak me out. I’m such a wimp! :) Keep on fighting, Kristi. You’ve done it before and you can do it again! God will provide the strength you need to get through it.

          • Hello…my friend. All the time God is good, God is good all the time are truer words than anything I can tell someone when trials are faced that are scary and confusing at times. God is so good despite the fact of what He has allowed to happen because He knows what trials we can face once we see the reasoning behind it. At age 17 – 28 1/2 years and 16 days ago since the 28 1/2 mark, I did not understand because I was a teenager and now at age 46 I have expected this kidney to go sometime and God has allowed me to have it a little longer than most.

            You mentioned that the smallest medical procedures freak you out…welcome to my yacht of freakout moments my friend. The idea of having another biopsy is something I want to avoid coming October 31st but I got through the first one wonderfully. It was freakout city for two months but it was necessary at the time to find out if my kidney was rejecting or had CKD. Believe me, I know all about freaking out.

            I believe you are stronger than you think. I thought the same way as you and sometimes find my mindset heading in that direction

          • Hi friend :) Yes, God is good all the time, even if it doesn’t always seem like it or feel like it. I struggle with believing that sometimes though! Sometimes I believe it, sometimes I don’t. But, it seems like you have it figured out. I guess the more difficult the trial, the stronger your faith gets. I know that my mom went through a lot of things medically before she died last year. I wasn’t a Christian back then, so I never thought to ask her about God or her faith or things like that during that time. But, I hope that at every step of the way her faith was growing and she was depending on God more and more.

            I have a question for you. Have you ever experienced pain at the site of a biopsy a long time after the procedure was complete and you’ve already healed? Like where the pain comes in out of the blue where it wasn’t hurting before?

            How do you deal with the freaking out? Do you talk with friends or family? Or write?

  2. I am sorry about your loss of your mother last year my dear friend. You asked me a question about pain at the biopsy site. No, I never experienced pain at the biopsy site. The doctor who performed the biopsy and my kidney doctor Dr. D were there and numbed me up real good there and I never felt any pain then or afterwards. My pain threshold is very low and so isn’t my mother’s. When I am afraid I talk to friends, write, and talk to God. It is hard to talk about the physical pain I have to my dad and his wife but it is easy to talk to friends and my mom and the doctors who are caring for me while I go through procedures.

    I will be having another (2nd) biopsy done on the 31st and no, I am not superstitious about that day or anything around it. I do not believe in all the hype of superstition ever since I was younger. The only thing that frightened me and can still frightened me is being in total darkness with no light around me. I have come to understand that some procedures that come medically are now very important to improve health or to help the health you now have. I still freak out in a sense but calm down after asking the right questions.

    • Thank you for your condolences about my mom. How did your biopsy go on the 31st? Have you received the results yet?

      I’ve been experiencing pain at the biopsy site for 5 months now :-/ I’m not sure if I should go back to the doctor and have them look at it. I’m afraid they’re going to do all these expensive tests on me and find that there’s nothing wrong. Then I’m left with all the bills to pay off and still stuck with the pain. That’s usually how it goes with doctors in my experience!

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