I don’t know

I don’t even know where to begin.  I miss Alain so much.  I found out from more online stalking about a week ago that he ignored my contact request on linked in.  I am so lost.  I’m in so much pain, it’s excruciating.

Dreams

Date unknown:

007 type dream.  I was watching it like it was a movie.  A guy and two women were in a room and the bad guy was trying to sneak up on them, but was visible through a doorway.  “007” comes after him but points his gun in the wrong direction.  That’s when the bad guy realizes 007 is temporarily blind.

Past Dreams

3/29/2013

1-2 other people whom I don’t remember who they are rush me over to two cats. They both appear to have one broken back leg. The people want me to help the cats. I look the cats over as best I can, but there’s not much I can do since I don’t know how to set a bone.

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4/23/2013

A giant snake and a lamb are in a brick fireplace. They’re dead and stuffed, but I keep
glancing at them to make sure they’re really dead and not coming to get me.

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4/29/2013

All I remember is picking my lips until I had a large bright red stripe on my upper lip and
another red spot on my bottom lip. I was embarassed and could feel the missing skin.

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5/1/2013

1. I am in someone’s office (a male) and he is critiquing something that I wrote. He doesn’t
like that I’ve written about cancer or drugs or other controversial things that have been a part of my life. I don’t say anything most of the time, but when he gets to cancer I respond with something like “why shouldn’t I write about cancer? My mother has cancer and I live with her therefore I have first hand experience with cancer! etc. etc”.

2. Jason Brown took me into his office to talk about me finding a new project. Then some
light-skinned black woman begin talking about all of the test scripts and documents I had
written for DOL and how impressive and high-quality it was. I felt proud of myself. She then
started preaching about something as if she was in church. Then I noticed her face was very strange… her head was small but she had giant lips and huge ears. Each ear was as big as her whole head. I wondered how she didn’t get made fun of.