AJ slept over.  I woke up at 4:30am and couldn’t get back to sleep due to the Abilify.  So, I got up and started listing books.  Then ran some errands around 9am.  AJ got up while I was out. I brought him some donuts for breakfast and then we went to the mall.  Then we stuffed ourselves silly at the Indian buffet.  I was so tired at that point, so I asked AJ to drive home and we both took naps.  Got up around 6 and AJ went home.  I fucked around the apartment till around 10pm then went back to sleep.


Went to auto-x with AJ in Winchester.  AJ was really nervous and kept asking questions, but not leaving me enough time to answer.  He was also getting bossy and snapping at me.  When he went off course, it was, of course, my fault because I didn’t give him the directions loud enough.  Funny that he was able to hear my other directions just fine, but that one that he doubted me on, he “didn’t hear”.  Right.

The auto-x was otherwise not as fun as I remember it.  I hit a lot of cones and went off course twice.  I really only had 2-3 good runs and they weren’t as good as I thought I could do.  Disappointed in myself.

AJ ended the day by being mad at me because I only took one video of him.


Met Molly.  She got along well with Gadget while we were outside, but when we came inside, he started following her around and barking at her.  She got scared and kept crawling up on the foster mom and dad’s laps.

Afterwards, met up with Mini for some shopping.  Spent way too much on clothes… Like $400.  But I got some great stuff and there isn’t one thing that I could return lol.

AJ came over after I was done shopping.


Lots of meetings at work today – a putty/UNIX tutorial at 9am, functional status meeting at 11:30, met with Stephanie and Kate for lunch (team leads I think…), then the All Hands meeting at 3pm.  The lunch with Stephanie and Kate was a little weird… They’re very nice, but I had no idea what I was doing there or what we should talk about.  We don’t have much in common.  But anyway, it’s good that I’m at least more familiar to them both and I can chitchat and grow the relationships.  I was supposed to meet Molly today after work, but we rescheduled due to the storms we got today.  I’ll see her Saturday.


Dramatic day – but not in my life.  Today was Paulette’s going away lunch.  But, as Lydia and I met her in the lobby of the building, she said she wasn’t leaving CGI!  She found out that Deloitte wanted her to work from the Baltimore office and travel at least once a week and she wasn’t willing to do that with her two young children and husband.  So she asked her manager if she could stay at CGI.  But at lunch she didn’t have any definite news and was very anxious about it all.  Also, at lunch, we found out that Lydia’s long-time boyfriend decided he wanted an open relationship so she and he broke up!  I was shocked!  Jacob seemed like such a nice person and the two of them seemed to have so much in common.

Anyway, in the afternoon Paulette talked to the director and PM and HR and it seems like she can stay here at CGI.  I’m selfishly excited about that.  I’m sad she won’t get the huge pay raise, but CGI will offer her a better work-life balance.

Tomorrow Molly and her foster parents are coming over for at meet n greet.  I’m excited, but don’t know if I’m doing the right thing.  I don’t want to get myself in over my head.


Woke up early again.  Got to work early.  It’s nice.  I wish I could be like this without medication.  Boring day at work.  I talked to a lady about adopting another dog – Molly.  They will be bringing Molly by on Thursday evening to see how everybody gets along.

I Must Like the Pain

I must like the pain because I keep looking Alain up.  I checked into the one forum where I PM’ed him and he didn’t respond and it showed that he logged in 6 days ago.  I sent the PM a month ago, so I know he got it.  He purposely didn’t respond.  It still hurts :(  I don’t know why I see him as my savior; my shining light of happiness that will save me from the darkness that is my day to day life.  I don’t know why.  And I don’t know how to change that.

As for the rest of my day….

Abilify got me up at 7am today which was pretty nice actually.  I got to work around 8:30am.  I had lunch with Paulette.  That was nice… I’m going to miss her a lot when she leaves at the end of the week.  3pm was my interview at CSC.  That went terribly.  The job was part time, I didn’t know what ITIL was and couldn’t think enough to come up with some bullshit answer, and they wanted someone who was an engineer.  It was just all wrong.  Walked the dog around 5pm – it was so humid.  As soon as I got home it down-poured twice.  I sold about 11 items today :)  It’s about 10:30pm… drank a few glasses of wine tonight 😉

Sunday 6/9/13

Woke up early around 8am and screwed around on the computer till around 10am then slept another hour or two.  AJ left around noon to go to cricket practice.  I went to a few places around DC to pick up books then came home.  I was able to avoid eating fast food today :)  Good for me.  Sunday is usually the one day that I always have fast food.

I kinda miss Alain today.  I swear every time I start missing him, I get hit with all these signs.  Like just now, I was thinking about him and then I picked up a book that I got today and it was named “Motherless Brooklyn”.  It seems like life keeps throwing things at me to remind me of him… but then I can’t have him.  Sometimes life is torture.  To miss someone like this that wants nothing to do with you… it’s not right.  And there’s nothing I can do about it.  I tried contacting him and didn’t get any response.

Saturday 6/8/2013

Woke up very early this morning around 8am.  My sleep patterns have been disrupted with my new medication – Abilify.  It also gives me that restless feeling and conflicting emotions.  I’m only on 2.5 mg though.  I hope it gets better.

AJ came over after work but he’s got to leave tomorrow (Sunday) around noon for Cricket practice.  It was an ok day.  Did some shopping at Papaya in the morning and Marshalls and Ross with AJ in the evening.  Santini’s for early dinner.  Spent the rest of the evening posting stuff for sale.  AJ slept the rest of the evening lol.