AJ

Oh yeah, I forgot to write about AJ. I’ve been dating him about every weekend for the past 3-4 weeks. On our first date, I wasn’t sure about him. He was a little too quiet and only wanted to do whatever I wanted to do haha. But, after that first date, we chatted online and through text for a few weeks and I learned a bit more about him and decided to give him another shot. On our second date we went to Georgetown and a boat ride up and down the Potomac river. It was a lot more fun than the first date lol. The next weekend, we went to a restaurant and bar in Rockville, MD and we planned to go to a haunted house/trail but it ended up being too late, so we just went to see the movie Devil. This past weekend, we went go-karting and then out for drinks. We ended up getting hammered and passed out in his car until 3:30 am lol. It was actually super fun though! The next day we went to dinner and a haunted trail and it was again a lot of fun 😀 Then we even got together for dinner the following Monday lol. But, he and I chatted last night online and it seems like he’s in love with me, but doesn’t want to say it quite yet. He keeps saying he has really strong feelings for me and will sometimes use the word love jokingly with me. I am trying to keep my options open though so I’m reluctant to commit to him. So, he’s kind of trying to back off now which sucks… We usually have a good time together and I wish he would just enjoy it instead of getting all kinds of feelings lol. He is actually a pretty interesting person and a lot of what I find out about him I like :) He’s Buddhist which is very different, but I find that we have some of the same spiritual theories. He’s also very kind and respectful to me and others around us. And of course he’s into cars which is a major turn on. He drives an Evo X 😉 On Saturday when we were drinking, he admitted to me that he was street racing once and caused another guy to drive into oncoming traffic and have a head-on collision. He never found out if they survived. It was cool that he trusted me with that information though…

But, at the same time I’m not 100% sure if I want to commit to him. He isn’t Asian lol.. he’s Sri Lankan. But, I still find him to be attractive. I’m not really sure what any of my other hangups about him are. I’ll have to think about it more.

Whoops

I accidentally called Ferdi last night while I was out walking the dog lol. I was feeling pretty good so I got the idea in my head that I should look through some of his old text messages where he was saying nice, romantic things to me and see if I’m actually over him. So, I was flipping through the text messages and accidentally hit the “Call” button. Then, I panicked and hit some other button which allowed the call to actually go through before I could stop it. I hung up as soon as I could. But, within a minute he had texted me back asking what was up. So I ended up having a text convo with him for a while. The longer it went on the more ticked off I got. He didn’t really give a shit what was going on in my life except who I was dating. And he actually had the nerve to ask me how the guy I’m seeing is in bed. WTH? LOL then he seemed to get pissed when I called him a pothead..jokingly! Oy, that kid has more problems than I realized with my love-struck eyes. And now he seems so self-centered! How did I see him as not before?? Thank goodness I’m not with him anymore!

Hawkward

I just got back from hanging out with my friend Devin. Ok, I guess it wasn’t really hanging out… He admitted to me about a month ago that he likes me and wanted to go on a date with me, but at the time I told him lets just work on being friends first and see where it takes us. Then, earlier this week he sends me an email asking me again if we could go on a date. He had apparently heard from our other friend Riandi that I have been doing online dating whereas previously Devin thought that I just wasn’t ready for a relationship. So, he got a little anxious and didn’t want to miss his chance so he kind of pressured me for an answer one way or the other. I responded to his second email for a date similar to the first time and told him to just relax, lets see where it takes us. But, this time he got confused and a little rude because he felt he was getting put on the backburner. I didn’t realize he liked me that much since we’re not super close friends so that’s why I didn’t go into a lot of detail about the who, what, where, when and why I didn’t want to go out with him right now. Anyway, the long and short of it is that we met up tonight to talk about where we stand face to face. And I had to give him a no and tell him to move on. I felt really bad because he was obviously really bummed. We had ordered dinner at Shilla Bakery and after I told him no he couldn’t eat a thing. He kept saying that he’s patient and would wait for me to be ready if I’m not ready, but I had to tell him that that wasn’t the whole reason I wasn’t interested. I told him I was more interested in one of the other guys I met online and that I am really hoping to get a guy that’s as much into racing as I am. I couldn’t tell him that I am also not physically attracted to him :[ He said that he’s the type of guy that takes an active interest in whatever his partner is into, and he indicated that he was already into racing and that his ex gf was into racing as well. That kind of piqued my interest in him a little more, but the fact still remains that I’m not attracted to him. And it sucks because he and I get along pretty well. He just talks a bit too much for me… but I guess it’s better than not talking enough lol. All the way home from Shilla, I was wondering if I made the right decision… But, now I think I have. If I can’t even imagine wanting to kiss him, how could it ever work? He doesn’t excite me in a romantic or sexual way so how could it ever work? I hope he gets over it all quickly so we can go back to being normal lol.