No More Ferdi

So, I finally just asked Ferdi what was going on yesterday via text message and he told me he was still not over his ex so we shouldnt go out anymore. :'( I know we’ve only been going out maybe a month and a half, but I’m so brokenhearted. Things went really quickly with us. We exchanged “I love you’s” within that short time period and he was talking about the future with me a lot like moving in with me later on and birthdays that were coming up in a few months and Christmas, vacations, etc. etc. He was so sweet to me, so unlike any other guy I had been with. He worked so hard to help me get my Jetta fixed and running and would come all the way down from Baltimore on his days off just to spend my hour lunch with me during the week. Last week he even brought me a flower. One time he came all the way down from Bmore at like 2AM after he got off work just to leave a note on my car windshield. But, I guess all of this was to try to make up for not being good enough for his ex wife :'( Right now I feel like I’d give anything to get him to love me again. I don’t know why… I just loved how he made me feel when I thought that he loved me. It’s really the best feeling ever. Now I don’t know what to do anymore.

I went out with Ian from auto-x last night. It was actually kind of odd. Ferdi breaks up with me then an hour later Ian asks me out. I thought it was a sign or fate or something. But, the date didnt go very well. He picked me up at my place and we went to a bar. Had some dinner and drinks and had some fun conversation then he took me home. He gave me a hug and a pretty platonic kiss on the cheek then started to leave. I went inside my apartment and did what I usually do, take the dog out. But when I come out, Ian’s still there just pulling his car out. He sees me and my dog and pulls back in. He plays with my dog a little bit then goes in for a totally un-platonic kiss lol. Then he starts feeling me up EVERYWHERE. Almost all at once. Before I realized what was going on he had already grabbed my ass, boobs and was rubbing my crotch. Then he started trying to lift my shirt up so I stopped him at that point. I feel even more sad about my whole love life situation now. I thought maybe Ian was actually interested in me, but he’s obviously not interested in me as a person. Only as a fuck buddy.

There’s been a lot of firsts for me these past few months lol. I’ve been someone’s rebound and now someone’s (attempted) fuck buddy. Wtf? Where are all the decent guys?

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