New Years

Toshi wants to go to a party on new years, but I hate going to parties where I only know one person. They always end up being really boring since I have nothing to talk about with anyone except that one person. So, I’m not going, but he is. I hate holidays :( I didn’t want to spend New Year’s alone :(

Missing College.. Why??

For a few weeks now I’ve been really missing college for some crazy reason. I dont even know what there is to miss. I didn’t have any friends, I didn’t go to a single party, and most of the time I was there, I was hating it and stressed out. I think I just wish that my whole college experience had been a lot better and more fun. I wish I had majored in something else. I wish I had been able to go to the main campus starting in freshman year and lived in the dorms to make some new friends right off the bat. I wish I had had FUN. I feel like I missed out on the most fun years of my life.

I guess the most fun I had in college was just walking around campus. I remember when Alain first broke up with me, I’d take walks late at night around campus where no one else was almost hoping someone would attack me or kill me. But, walking around listening to music made me feel better for a while. Till I came back to my dorm room to my roommate haha. Ugh, let’s not relive that.

Most of all I wish I had majored in something else. I was so overwhelmed with the classes and classwork that I felt like I didn’t have enough time to do anything else like clubs or hobbies. I kinda also wish I went to a different school haha.

Hey Hey

Been a while since I wrote in here. And so much has happened. I’ve now been with Toshi for 10 months and we’re living together in my apartment in VA. I actually managed to pass that 430w class and graduate. What a relief! But, problems never cease. While its great that I have a great paying job now at C.F., I’m getting rather tired of working at the Helpdesk. I’m not interested in the work itself and dealing with sometimes irate and downright rude users is not my idea of fun. At least once a week, I find myself in tears on the job because I feel like I just can’t take it anymore. I’m still trying to figure out what I’d rather do in the company since it’s possible to change positions. I don’t want to approach my boss saying I want another position if I don’t have any other positions in mind.

On a less somber note, I have a dog now – Gadget. He’s about 6 months old now and still a little hellion :) At least for me. He’s usually an angel when he’s home alone with Toshi, but when I come home its PARTY TIME!! lol He needs to be spayed, I think that’s part of the problem. I just don’t feel good about cutting his balls off. I put myself in his position, and I can’t imagine having to live like that. But, at the same time, I’m getting pretty tired of him pissing on the couch and all over the apartment and always trying to jump on me and bite me. He’s a sweetie sometimes, but he’s also cause for a bit of stress in my life.

So what inspired me to start writing in this diary again? A video game haha :) I’m playing this came called Missing Since January and I’m at the part in the game where you’re directed to the victim’s diary website. I realized that I actually have a lot to write about on a daily basis and that writing things out might help me sort things out in my life. Maybe it’d help me figure out what I’d rather be doing for a living.