So Alone

How can I be on a campus of 30k-40k people and still feel so alone? I guess because no one talks to me and I have no friends. My roommate (Tian) has a boyfriend now and she spends all her time with him. They’re together everytime I see her. I only get to see Mike every other weekend and two weeks between visits feels like forever. No one talks to me on AIM and I go on everyday lol. It’s pathetic now that I think about it. Why do I even bother going on AIM, if no one IM’s me?

I think about Alain still. I still miss him for some stupid reason. It’ll be two years since we broke up this month (I can’t remember the exact date though). Thinking about him makes me want to kill myself. Sometimes I feel like there’s no point in living if I can’t have his love. I wish I had the guts to kill myself.