Grandma’s Viewing

Going to Grandma’s viewing in a little bit. I hope I can handle it without crying too much.

I must have dreamed about Alain or something because I woke up this morning thinking about him and missing him so much. :( Then I rolled over on my bed and found a card that he sent me earlier this year. :(:(:(:(:( I miss my Alum so fucking much. It’s not fair…

I was cleaning out my Yahoo email and I found a picture of Grandma and Grandpa that Aunt Mary sent me a while ago. Grandma was still in the nursing home but she was looking at the camera and smiling and Grandpa was looking at her and smiling. That really set me off. I miss her. I mean how she was before Alzheimer’s. I also feel sad for Grandpa because I know he loved her so much. I hope someday someone will love me that much for that long… I thought that person would be Alain but…. guess not….:(:(:(:(:(:(

Things are changing so much right now.

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