Today’s Events

Let’s see here…

I got my trig test back and I got an 83% which is ok.. I’m not jumping for joy though. My last math test (math 22 which I got back on Monday) was a 69%. My grade in both classes is still a B+ but that leaves me with only a 3.47 GPA. Not dean’s list. I have a B- in econ and A’s in Religion in America and Comp Sci.

On my way to class I saw Tian and we talked about going to a Multicultural Conference thing next week on the 29th. It costs $5 but I guess I’ll get that money back when I go. I don’t really want to go now that it cost me $5 lol. But anyway, when I first saw Tian we didn’t know where to go to register for the conference so we went into the Frable building to ask someone. We went into one of the offices that we thought maybe someone could help us in and one of the girls from my high school was in there. I forget her name but I don’t really like her much. She’s black and she just seems to think she is superior to everyone else. I came in asking about the conference (because Tian I guess didn’t feel comfortable asking in English) and I saw that girl in there with one of her (of course black) friends. I asked the lady at the desk about the conference and this girl’s friend answered. She seems like a nice person, but the girl from my high school looked at me for a while then turned her face with a big grin on it. I don’t know what was so funny, but the more I see her the more I don’t like her. She was in my trig class in high school. She was friends with one of the younger kids in my class that I sat with. He was a trouble maker and the rest of us weren’t. So she was only talkative to him. Someone else talked to her and she could barely stand to talk to them like she was so much better than them. She did talk to me a few times. All the people that went to my high school have at least said “hi” to me, but not her. I was hoping to get away from the high school pettiness in college.

I had a weird experience in the library. I went down to the lower level after my math 22 class and began reading one of my library books. It was pretty empty and quiet down there, but I could hear a woman talking in the distance. She was in the Gruskin Learning Center and she was talking to someone else. I couldn’t hear a word of the other person, but I could hear her. It sounded exactly like when I was younger and passed out in school. It was that second or two before I opened my eyes. I would be able to hear my (female) teacher talking, but the sound was like I had cotton in my ears. It sounded distant and far away.

Carrie just called me as I was writing this entry and we made plans to go out on Monday after I get home from school. Glad she still likes me. We made plans to go out last weekend, but she didn’t call and I didn’t call her either lol. Oh well..

Worried About Alain

Last time I talked to Alain was last night at 10:29pm. He was going to Renee’s house in Hershey. I don’t know if he got there ok or not. I hope so though..

I’m such a fucking loser. Even my mother thinks so. She’s like “Alain’s out having fun while you’re here waiting for him” and laughs at me. Right after I got done telling her I’m going to see a movie tomorrow with Becky. I don’t know what she expects me to do. I don’t have any money, I don’t have any friends..what’s left?

I Hate My Life So Much

Not that I’m surprised much, but my spring break is beginning to suck a lot. I have no money ($1.24 in the bank now), nothing to do except school work and absolutely no way to make money. I don’t even have gas in my car and I don’t have enough money to get some more.

Tian emailed me today asking if I got some email about a PSU leadership conference. And I didn’t get that email. I have a fucking 3.68 gpa and I don’t get this email?? I guess you have to have a 3.9 or above? No matter how hard I work or what I achieve I’m never the best, I’m never on top, I never get all the benefits, there’s always someone better. I’m sick of living.