His Name is Steve

A few days ago I found out that that kid I always talk to in math is called Steve. That’s so funny. I always make fun of the name Steve because of Rebecca’s brother. Like when people ask me “what was that guy’s name?” I always reply with “Steve”. I have to come up with a new name now hahah. I’d feel bad making fun of him and his name. I hate to admit it but he’s REALLY hot. This is crazy. Hot guys NEVER talk to me, especially without me asking them something first. But he started talking to me first and he talks to me everytime we have class. And he almost always initiates the conversation. I’d like to know what he thinks of me. I don’t know anything about guys. It seems like some guys are nice to you to your face but it doesn’t mean anything because they’re actually talking about you behind your back and making fun of you. But it’s hard to tell because he could actually like you and think you’re cool and not be making fun of you. I’d just like to know which kind of guy Steve is.

I actually talked to Doug (from last semester’s STS200 class) today after math 22. It was a short conversation. We talked more today than we ever talked before, even in our small class of 5 people last semester. Which is kind of funny. There’s around 25 people in our class now and there was only 5 people in the class last semester and we’re talking more now.

After talking to Doug for a minute I went to the library to sign up for tutoring. Lynn was there (my english tutor from last semester) and she seemed so happy to see me. She’s seriously the NICEST person I’ve met in years. I was glad that she was glad to see me. We chatted for a while about things like the Christmas break. We both admitted that we watched a lot of movies over the break. Then we got into libraries and we both love the quiet and seclusion. She said that we’re probably related. I don’t know many people that actually enjoy books, movies, being at the library and seclusion like I do.

I got a letter in the mail today from school about me being on the Dean’s List. It’s just a letter saying that only 2% of the kids on campus achieve this. Since there’s only about 1000 kids on campus that means only about 20 kids get on the Dean’s List. That’s pretty funny. I think Alain’s roommate Viraj also got on it. I think he had a 3.8. I hope I get a 3.8 this semester :) Actually, no. I want a 3.9 or a 4.0 which would raise my overall GPA to around 3.8 or so. *crosses her fingers*

Hair Sucks

Well, my awesome hair style is gone already. After washing my hair, I found that the styling techniques the stylist used were not nearly as easy as they looked. I’m completely uncoordinated with the round brush and the blow dryer. And after I woke up this morning, my hair looked 14 times worse. I had to pull it back like I normally do :( I hope I can figure out how to use the brush and dryer soon so I can show off 😉

Haircut, Online Classes & Main Campus

Today was pretty awesome. I got my hair professionally cut for the first time ever in life. It looks pretty good now. It didn’t look that great when I left Phillip Pelusi, but it looks better now that it’s relaxed. It’s a little bit shorter and it’s layered. I like it!!!!!

A few days ago I found out that I could take the speech class that Penn State requires all students to take online! I was so excited! I’m going to take that class this summer and if I like it I’ll take all my gen. ed. classes online over the summers. It really sounds awesome because you still have to do group work, but it’s online so you have to go into chat rooms. And you do all your work on your own time. I really like the sound of that. You email all your work to the teacher and email your classmates. I can’t wait! Now I don’t have to switch schools! YESSA!

Yesterday my dad, Tian and I all went to Penn State main campus (which is about three hours away) for an engineering co-op meeting. Wow, what a horrible experience. I’ll start from the beginning. First we had to get up at 5 am so we could pick Tian up at 6 am. I couldn’t sleep the night before because I was so excited about the online classes :) So I woke up extreeeeeeemely tired. We got dressed, I ate breakfast and then we left to pick up Tian. There were a ton of apartment buildings all in little squares so it was a little difficult to find Tian, but we eventually did. She sat in the back and I sat in the front with my dad. She offered me this egg thing about 20 mins after being in the car with us. Oh my god. It was an authentic Chinese treat. Straight from China. It was disgusting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was a raw egg w/o the shell filled with some herbal stuff and vinegar or something. I don’t even want to talk about it its so disgusting. Once I tried it I knew I never wanted to taste it again, but I couldn’t figure out how to get rid of it without offending her. So I wrapped it up in a napkin and put it in a cup holder. But it was too late by then. I was sick and paranoid. I kept smelling the egg and it was sickening. About 10 mins after that Tian starts telling me a story about a TV show that’s on in China about some dynasty, like the 8th one. She seriously fucking talked for 20+ mins. I sat turned around in my seat in the most uncomfortable position imaginable for 20+ mins. And before the story was over, I was car sick. So we keep driving and I just try to stop being sick, because we’re out in the middle of nowhere and there’s no place to stop and take a break. I tried to sleep, but I couldn’t because my head and jaw kept dropping and that would wake me up. Finally, dad stops at a McDonald’s and I get out. I practically run to the bathroom. I just wanted to get away from that car that smelled (or that I was imagining smelled) like the egg. The whole day Tian had this thing like she had to be right by my side every possible moment, so just keep that in mind. She literally wanted to have her shoulder touching mine. So after we went to the bathroom, we came out and sat down with my dad in a booth. He was eating (of course) an egg sandwich. I thought I was going to be sick again. Tian sat down on the bench next to me and she started shaking her leg. You know that nervous bouncy bouncy thing people do. It was shaking the whole bench! I didn’t know what to do, it was making me even more sick! Finally I just got up and ordered an orange juice and said “let’s go.” So we left and I managed to make it to main campus without geting much sicker. I just drank the orange juice whenever I got a little woosey. Then, at main campus, neither Tian or I had the exact address of the building that the meeting was in. So we had to spend about 30 mins driving all over the place, looking at maps, asking people, and calling people. Finally, Tian was able to get the address from her dad and we found the place. The meeting was just as bad as the drive there. It was from 9:30-1:10 nonstop talking and only one 10 min break to eat. I was SO bored. The guy just repeated everything over and over and over and explained everything in too much detail. I mean, cmon we’re engineering students, we’re not idiots. We can figure out how to use this internet site, especially if the directions are in the handbook that we were given. Finally, the meeting was over. I was so anxious to get the fuck out of there! We found the car and we drove around for about 45 mins because dad wanted to find the mall that uncle Jodie worked at so we could pop in and say hello. He couldn’t find it, so we stopped at another McDonald’s for lunch. But after being in the car again with the egg and no food in my stomach, I was carsick again. I couldn’t eat much. But I did manage to throw the egg away. So, then we went back into the car and we found the mall taht uncle Jodie works at (finally!). We went in and found him, but he was busy, so Tian and I went to a store out in the mall: Rainbow. We looked at shoes and stuff, then we went back into Sears to meet with my dad again. He hadn’t even talked to Uncle Jodie by that time though, so we just fucked around in Sears. Finaly, Jodie was done with customers and we all said hello. Then we left. It was getting kind of dark by this time and I just slept the rest of the way home. We dropped Tian off. My mom got a kick out of the story :)


I got a reply from my advisor and she told me that I can’t get credit for CMP SC 100 if I’m a computer science major. So since yesterday was the last day for dropping classes for free and online, I can’t drop the class easily. I don’t even know if I will drop it, because if I do I’ll only have 12 credits. That’s such a waste of money. I feel like such an asshole. I don’t know what I want to major in, therefore, I don’t know what classes to take. This is so frustrating. I feel like I’m standing still and not progressing at all. How can I progress if I don’t have a goal?


My math classes are awesome. I really like this kid that sits behind me. I don’t know his name though. He’s really nice though. I feel dumb asking him his name so late. He knows my name (and actually remembers it..wow!) already. I think his name is Peter or something..

After my two math classes today I went to see my advisor. Who of course was not in the office. I set up an appointment last week for today at 1pm. So I get into her office and her secretary tells me she’s not there. The secretary tells me to go sit in the waiting area to set up an appointment with a different advisor (who isn’t MY advisor). So I go and sit down and a girl comes up and makes an appointment a few minutes later with MY advisor. Uhhh if she can make an appointment with Elsie why can’t I? Penn State, I must say, is the least organized university ever. Even though I haven’t been to any other universities.

I have decided to become as independant from Alain as I can. Maybe even break up with him if I ever feel like I can. I just have to work my way up to that. So far, I haven’t talked to him much the past two days. Yesterday he called me and seemed a little upset, but I’m going to try not to let that get to me. He doesn’t want to make an effort to see me or be with me, so I’m not going to make an effort to see or be with him. He gets all upset if I don’t come online to talk to him, but he’s never online to talk to me. He never wants to meet me to hang out, never wants to do anything with me. Unless, of course, its on the way to somewhere else or on the way back from somewhere else. I guess I can’t really expect him to have any time for me. Like he says he “has a life” and “has a lot of friends.” I guess I’ll just have to get used to being last on his list of priorities. Fuck that. I’m not last on the list material. I’m AT LEAST #2 :) I can understand if he wants to put his education and future career first, but he’s not even doing that. He wants to make it out like he is. He tells me he’s studying and is gone for 10-12 hours… And then he comes back and says he has more of the same subject to study. Well, hun, even in college there’s no reason to be studying that much on one subject. I’m absolutely positive he’s fooling around with his friends and spending about 30 minutes here or 20 minutes there actually studying. I know him. I know his personality. He is very easily distracted and he has the attention span of a fly. So I know that’s what he’s doing. So I hope it works out for him because sooner or later I won’t be there anymore.