I’m living with a bunch of toxic, negative people. I have been blind to these kind of people, always thinking that it was me or maybe I needed to change in order to get along with them.
We all need relatioships. All of us. This is how we communicate and live among others in our lives. It can be a husband/wife, parent/child, sibling, other famiy member, or a friend or lover relationship. We all have them.
Now, granted, many of you might have wonderful relationships with those in your lives. But there are those of you who are living with toxic people in your lives. You who are, must acknowledge these people for who they are….toxic people. A toxic person can make the most gentle, sincere, kind of person become infected wth their toxicity.
When you are around omeone, do you feel like your are emotionally numb? Have low energy levels? Feelings of low self-worth. Even physial ailments such as nausea, headaches and muscle tension can be caused by the toxic people in our lives.
Toxic people are those who complain about everything, even the most mundane of things. They tend to blame you for the things that happen to them. Even if you try to defend yourself, they have a way of turning hings around so that it is your fault no matter what the case might be.
They overreact to bad events, and blow things way out of proportion. They expect bad things to happen, even fantasize about them. When they do happen, they escalate things beyond reason. It is as though they purposely seek out to instigate a fight.
They are full of negativity, constantly bombarding you with it. My friend starts off sentences, in speaking to me, “You’ll never…”, “It will never happen…”, “You can’t do…” They suck your energy so much that you don’t feel like you have will to fend off their brutal negative attacks. Their constant pessimistic attitude infects you like a disease. If you don’t catch it, you could easily start to become like them.
If you find that you are angry and resentful toward them, don’t fret. This is what toxic people will make you feel like. These leeches feed themselves off yourenergy. The thing is, non-toxic people don’t realize that we feed into their garbage, and give them our energy. This is a hard lesson to learn.
These vampire parasites are drawn to the weak. If you are already dealing with things like mental illness or deperession, then you are susceptible to them. It is as if you have a target painted on your forehead or something.
They destroy your self-confidence, making you feel utterly stressed out. Funny, though, when everything is said and done, once they have finished their tirade, they walk away with a smile. What is up with that? You are left angry and bitter, and they walk away like nothing happened.
It is as though they are determined to transfer their miserable unhappiness on you. In this way, they make themselves feel better.
They are addicted to drama. They are not happy unless they provoke some form of drama and strife. They take great pleasure in creating this nonsense chaos where there is peace, as though they can’t stand to see anyone else happy and alive. Then in a weak moment, they come in for the kill and destroy any shred of joy you might have.
These people have trouble taking any responisibility fr their actions. When they do something spiteful or mean, they transfer the blame to someone else. But, when the tables are turned and they get hurt by someone, they wallow in their own puddle of self-pity.
They never seem to learn from their own mistakes. When they make a mistake they repeat it over and over like a broken record.
Have you ever had a conversation with a toxic person? You know you can’t talk with them too long efore they turn the conversation around to focus on them. “Me”, “Myself” and “I” are their favorite words.
They will lay all their problems on you, and then expect you to solve it for them. Then later on, they will change their mind and not want you to do anything about it. When it is all forgotten, they will bring it up again, and how you didn’t bother to care.
Let’s face it. Toxic people will always put their needs first and foremost. Yours don’t matter to them. They seem tothink that they have this entitlemnt to receive everything, even when it concerns you.
They are selfish and self-centered. Their thoughts are all about what they want in life, and aim to get it, even if it means stepping over the line with you. Life simply revolves around them. They are demanding of you, but will not budge when it comes to them giving.
They sometimes will devulge their demands outright, but many hint and beat around the bush about what they are expecting. Thi is because they are cowards in disguise. They use bullying to get ther way.
They are an expert manipulator. If you don’t comply to their wishes, then they will play the guilt trip on you. They like to make people think that they are obligated to them for. Even when you do eveything in your power to pleae them, they are never pleased.
I know I get resentful when I see the toxic person I live with taking, always taking and never giving. No matter how much you do, you will never be shown any apreciation for it. They don’t know how to give it. You will never find tat they respect you or treat you with decency.
They will never understand the meaning of other people’s boundaries, as they themselves don’t have any. According to the toxic person, physical, emotional or mental boundaries don’t exist in other’s lives, and they will step over them.
They are nosy. They will stick their nose into your business as well as everyone else’s. My toxic friend seems to know what is going on over at the neighbor’s house too much. Personally, what other people do is not my problem.
They will ask you all kinds of personal questions. This is because they are fishing for information. The thing about this is that, down the line, they wil use that information to exploit it against you if you don’t comply to their wishes.
The drain your energy leaving you feelng tired, and emotionally drained, frustrated, stressed, depressed, or even angry at them. How does a toxic person make you feel? Do you dread going to visit that person because they make you want to run out of the room whenever you are with them?
They are very narcissistic and always the pessimist. They normally are antisocial people, probably because no one wants to be around them. They have no conscience. If you are living with a toxic teenager you know the hellish existance that they make your home. They are completely and utterly rebellious, defiant and out of control.
Toxic people love to gossip incessiantly. It is like an elixo for them. They will stab you in the back for no good reason, only to make your life miserable. They don’t give their behavior a single thought, usually. They will purposely tell you secrets to hurt you.
These people are vey judgmental and can be very prejudice. They are snobbish and think themselves better than others. Many are know-it-alls. They will put you down, but are highly sensitive and defensive when the tables are turned on them.
What is worse is that they tend to be highly jealous. You can’t have any achievements or successes in your life because they feel inferior to you. This will throw them into a tizzy and they will try to destroy what you have gained. They won’t celebrate your happiness with you.
They are overly needy for attention. That is why they want everything focused on them. If you live with one, you no longer enjoy life. Every day becomes a chore. You are pouring your energy into makng them happy, but all the while fogetiing yourself.
Your mind is always ormenting over the things that they have said or done. You seem to feel that they are all that you think about, over and over again.
You continually fantasize about getting away from them. When they aren’t around, you are actually relieved and feel more like yourself. That is, util they return, and the cycle starts all over again. The situation might even be causing troubles with your sleep.
What can you do? Learn to assert yourself and say NO. This is one of the hardest words for a non-toxic person to say. We love doing for others, but when we encounter a toxic person, they only take, take, take, and we lose sight of ourselves in the quest to make them happy.
Don’t let them take advantage or encroach on your personal thoughts, speae and freedoms. When they are selfish or disrespectful, don’t give into the emotions that come with the hurt. It is imporant to remember that they are thrive on drama and loveto feed off of it. Funny how these people can create a destructive stir, and walk away smiling.
Work up the courage within yourself to dismiss them from your presence. Simply put, get them out of your life. You don’t need them. They are there just bringing your down into the pit of their lonely existance. If you continue to allow them to remain in your life, you run the chance of becoming like them.
Don’t feel sorry for their problems, mishaps or drama. The tears and boohooing that they might do are all part of the show. That’s what they want, because then, of course, the attention is directed on them. They love the limelight. They will play the ultimate victim. If you feed into that, they will sink further into more self-pity.
When they start to complain, refuse to listen to them. They want you to be in the middle of their created chaotic mess. Becoming a part of their problem, you are giving them more energy to continu. It’s best to remain neutral and detached. Put up a mental shield against them
Toxic people don’t ted to change. They change you. Get them out your life. Know the signs. And when you encounter a new one, you’ll be able to run the other way.