I sit a lot of late having not the energy or the impulse to leap into the challenges that wait for me, this is not an unusual occurrence nor is it far from my character. I have settled into a mode of communication that is quiet and refined and not as free. I know this for I have been told it time and time again. The trip is that while the naked line is a daring and free line it does require some allure of enticing to move along it. Sure the forest is made up of trees that grow once upon a time and there are reminders that the one tree is a silhouette of every tree that came before or after. Still I hesitate in my approach to the striping away of the pretense of my thoughts. I may think it from time to time I say but I never write it down anymore or perhaps I should say that when I have written it down the ones who have read it have not responded well. Freedom of thought requires a freedom to share and when more refuse to share it is difficult to wander. There was a time when I corresponded with ten different souls of varying degrees, now there are two left. Am I being so careful now with the two that I am not being myself or have I learned from the eight that have faded? Do we not hope for growth when changes enter our lives or do we wish only to remain the silent standard that others must reach for and never grasp? There was a time when being an illusion was enticing to my soul but that fades with time and being real has its usefulness. There is for me a combination of ideals that now stroke the mind openly. There is the concept of open dialogue with those willing to share the strokes of their soul and there is also the idea that illusion is a comforting stroke to the ego. When to use one and the other is the trial and error. Yes I am careful with the two that I have left to talk with and yes I am perhaps more restrained with each of them for the results of the others have taught me to be. At the same time I wish not to be the artist in the woods that is never seen and never heard. It is a paradox and I am the enigma of that paradox.