We should know the words we use… we should have the concept of the sound as well as the meaning down to a science… for words are science… they are the keys to the kingdom of the mine… they are useful when used properly and a burden when used to manipulate… words are not for everyone in every situation… there are moments when words will fail the mind the heart and the soul… there are situations when our breath is stolen from us and words can never seem to create the perfect picture of that sunrise or a sunset… we should know the words we are using and with whom we are using them… I am casual with how I portrait the images… there is however some science in what I do… the mathematics of the mind is such that after a time you have to allow for the many variables to find one another before using any single one… life is knowing witch variables are in play and witch ones are off to the side… we should know the words and how each one elicits the proper state of mine… all the world is equations and variables that come into and out of play… all things happen for reasons therefore we have to be ready and willing to seek the variables we had placed aside and bring them into play… some words have meaning beyond our comprehension… at least that is how I am able to linger on a stone for so long… it is not a real stone… and I am not truly lingering as in not moving… I am purging myself in conversation… the loops that twist and tie and weigh heavy across the strings turn to fluffy flakes of dry snow… they are powder easily cast adrift… they seem heavy at times because of the volume of words written… the truly heavy weight is carried within wrapped in the loss or the gain… each length and breadth speaks to the core of over standing the moment… time can render us speechless or drained of speech or can find us without words to bring to mind to describe the state of our heart… in the quiet solitude of time we begin to peace the puzzle of silence back together… for some there arrives a moment when they have had enough and can say know more… the weight has over come me… that is a phenomenon that I over stand being a person who speaks in volumes of notes that are many faceted… each letter is a crystal composed of many sides and angles to view it from… every single instance of thought is an opportunity for the binding of a thread of awareness of coming to an understanding of the steps that are opening… that have closed… some arrive prepared to speak their minds… they have a clear precise idea of what they wish and how to achieve that wish… I am not so blessed as to have that particular view of the world of mine… the ever changing landscape alters me more than it should… butt then I did spend a good number of years rigid and unyielding to the winds of time… of course time won eventually and in illness awareness comes easy… close shaves awaken us to the events we are missing and for some they are the call that changes their lives… for others it is butt a small detour before they get back to the same old track they enjoyed before… know words are truly necessary… we are quite aware of the sunrise and the sunset… of the lingering hands that hold us… of the thoughts that we share across time and space… words are not needed to express what we feel inside or out… over time the words become routine and solid forms that hold the world in place… single strips of cloth peel away the loft… one can float away once all the words that weighed them down are set free… it takes a bit of time and some frustrating minutes to sit in the stillness and listen to the floor creak and sway as the weight eases and drifts away… know words are knot easy to say… when the time comes for silence to listen we are not as adept at it as we should be…
I sense a burden I have become… a slight weight in the words of late… they seem heavy and difficult to pull forth from the dwindling stream… the tide had finally ebbed… how long will the dry stay as dry… for as long as the spark is a flame and know more… I sense in me a trip down the wire… or along the wire of time… I have looked into the past and found some places… leaned forward to the here and now and over stand the shallow pool… cast my eyes to the future to view what is to be and get a sense of what times holds in store for me… more of the same unless I change… for all things begin with self… we do what we do to satisfy the self… for until self is satisfied nothing else can or will be… the burden I sense is my wandering soul seeking the artistic equation that is me… the useful tangents all come to light immediately all except the artful soul… to win the battle only to lose the war is some what of a difficult choice… love at times is a futile emotion… it does not give any more or ask any more or require any more from any one it just is what it is and reaches a level where we either accept that it is there and we walk away believing it never existed in the way we believed it to… we can over look a lot when we believe in some one… seeing beyond the surface of time or the moment does allow for a broader picture… I have in the course of study distorted my vision of times I have spent in the company of time… it seems they were not as I once believed them to be… they were however experiences I needed to have… moments I needed to share… and now having done them it is time to bid them adieu…
A nice long edit of me is required… perhaps I will take my own add vice and step away from the walls and bridges for a time… it does seem monotonous some what of late… bridges are not built in a day… nor are walls… they take time and indifference to build… since I have neither the time or the indifference perhaps I should leave the work to a more professional idealist to take care of for me… when I am gone seal me up in a case of thought… for all that I thought fit into this stamp that I affix here and now… and all the words have meaning only to me… there can’t be silence between self and self… only between the forest and the trees…