The mingling of minds will yield alternatives that one mine may knot have experienced… the more thought brought to focus may be able to “see” an element of the story that the multitudes may knot… I am interested in what is missed by the professional who has a preconceived idea with a diagnosis that the uneducated finds immediately… in speaking with people who have experience and I include myself in that concept much more is missed because we know the answer… we have already gone to the solution before listening to the entire set of information… the more ideas and concept is a process that is a study in the ways of the masses… choice by degree of the one with one who truly listens will in my mind always find a better solution that the mass solution chosen by many… for few will have the courage to speak out in difference to the many…

The road to awareness for me is not a straight and narrow one… it wanders… twists and turns and at times folds back upon itself for another peek before moving on… often I have spoken of the theory that when there is some thing at the core we have to talk and talk and talk or in my case write about getting to it before we have the words… we have to say everything else before we have the words to say what is at the core of our thought… we set the stage perhaps or we decorate the room… put our best foot forward… how ever we go about doing it we are finding the courage to bring forth what is there… there is that trepidation when we reveal ourselves and there is the silence of the jury going out for a time before brining in the verdict… I can usually tell for the eyes never lie they mirror the soul so perfectly… difficult road awareness is… we move with hope… with the joy of possibilities and a delight of opportunities and for the most part we never connect with similar idealists… well that would be boring… this road we have to approach more in a sense of finding the one… the diamond in the rough or the select few that spark the imagination… few spark us to respond… when we do find one we should let the fire burn… funny how so many put the fire out…

I am on one of those wandering journeys of the mind… I get struck in the cycle or vortex of a single thread and until I find the core and feel the exhaustion of the thought drop from me I am best to let it go its way… perhaps in all this verbiage is a critical element of me that is going through its growing pangs… another pane into my soul… a slip on the wandering road to unlimited creativity…

I do find that at times a single thought can dominate my mind so completely that I am unable to put it aside and move on… of course if I just deal with the flame in the proper way perhaps that would let the river flow more evenly… the wonders of the human mind… or the illogical mine of me… there does come a point where the volume of words far exceeds the topic of conversation… some thoughts should not be given the time of day they receive and other more important or influential ones rarely get a notice or a line… so we carry on about a sense or feeling more than about the facts that are before us… when we get right down to it we are not logical at all… illogical thoughts dominate our choices because we feel them more than see them in the light of the objective mind… we have this propensity to lean toward our intuition that is counter to the facts placed before us… so we will argue for the person we like in difference to the facts we like time and time again… the illogic of it perplexes me at times… though I am the same… here I am with facts placed before me arguing with myself over the logic of steps that are so obvious they are read by others far more objective then I… and still I wonder and leave avenues of possibility… strange how life twists one’s mind… there are traits I believe that define us in spite of the logic that we are faced with… so in this light I will continue to believe in the open highway with no restrictions and hope that those who wish to find a way do so… and those who have made up their mind other wise go their own way… life is a multiple way intersection… it has to be shared fairly… not evenly… fairly…

The points are well taken… each one is explained in the proper detail and perspective… a logical explanation of thoughts both mine and yours… I would like to continue with however butt there are not words of logic that will make sense… as much as I would like to disagree on the last point after dwelling upon it you are certainly correct… within the realm of one’s soul there is know reason for intentional hurts or slights… there is room to disagree… to stand one’s ground to argue… to persuade… butt intentions in those ideas are in all ways for the good… the intention may cause a slight ripple in the waves butt one can see the purpose… so it is only the thread of illogic that holds the door open… perhaps that is the best way to say it… for sense it does not make… sense it will never make… and while correct some one can be… it is still a difficult picture to grasp from inside the frame… it will take some adjusting of the image and stepping back bit by bit to grant myself the perspective that will allow for a rendering of the ties that I have held for such a long time… not in my personality to do so… perhaps that is what plays me…

There is a thought lingering in my mind… after all the writing I have done over the past few days there are still some thoughts that have not made their way from the inner to the outer… that is the nature of close relationships… it is the nature of the inner core of my being to not let go as easily as some would… I can be played… it is in my nature to be trusting to a very high degree… I have had to learn the hard lesson more than once… so it goes without saying that the tide will rise in me eventually and wash away the final thoughts… I am not hiding how I feel… in fact I am putting the thoughts out in the great wide open… shared with the very few who know me… to the rest I am a figment of the imagination… what happens when the dream dies… what happens when a belief stops being real and is resigned to being a dream that will never come true… what happens to people when they part ways… well eventually we come to terms with the choices we made… for even if another leaves we choose to knot follow… even when a belief fades we choose to allow it to be so… so perhaps that is where I am… allowing my choices to be real in my mind… to accept that the choices of another have in fact become choices of my own… and if the road was different and I was on the other side would I have wished some one to call out to me… would I have wanted to hear no… some cries are silent ones… some cries are done in the astral meetings of the mind… some cries are accomplished in the silence of time one to one where tears flow and we put our hearts into another’s hands and we ask them to like us a little or a lot… we ask them to love us enough to knot with intent harm the places we have been… some cries are necessary to leave the past in the past… to learn to live by the response we get or don’t get… some lessons we have to learn by the scars that are opened because it is easier to blame them to accept that changes alters our beliefs and we know more and are know longer in a state of mind that accommodates the relationship as it is… we grow and we move on… that is part of life and part of the plan… eventually we do change our beliefs and we stop looking for the mysterious and realize that the child’s dream is part reality and part dream… the dream is the imagination… the reality is that it takes some effort to keep the dream alive in the face of the harsh reality of life… so it goes… soon the words will free me… will I remain illogical… probably… that is my nature to be so… I am a figment after all… this is not the real me… this is the artistic me… there is a quite a big difference between the two… my nature here is one of being open to accept what another is capable of offering… even if that be nothing… the real me is like everyone else in the world… there has to be some thing given and taken away… a measurable element to any relationship… the artistic me is capable of grand measures… while the more realistic me is not so easy going… if I had to deal with me I prefer to deal with the artist… the realist is well a realist… the world to a realist is some what cut and dried… black and white… my mind echoes the question of the silent twitch of darkness lingering in the shadows… a walk on the dark side last evening told me that door is closed… though the words found an ear to listen… and once more they echo across the void… I whisper a name to the four winds and I wonder if the winds of change will find their way home… my guess is that the tide has risen far enough to lift the raft from this shore and cast me adrift once more… time to sail around the next bend… I wonder who will be there waiting for me… I choose to keep on moving… a retreat to the future seems to me to be the only clear course for me…