The past is always with us… every skill we have… every talent we possess comes from the past we have shared… we can choose however to put aside certain experiences we have had so that we can move on… we all make mistakes so when we take the lessons from that we can get passed the emotional drain and move forward… when we make choices about the past it is important to know that all experiences help form who we are today and to never lightly dismiss any one… because any one of could be the one that formed us in a very unique way… having said that it does not mean we don’t long for an easier ride to that knowledge…

We create for others as a means to satisfy some thing within ourselves… the topic of self is a difficult one for many people to consider properly… they see self as less altruistic then others… it is easy to do for another than to do for oneself… how many work themselves ill caring for another… so they can no longer care for the other… how many sacrifice themselves before another… my belief is less altruistic… the saying charity begins at home means to me that one takes care of self so they can take care of others… give what is requires silently without knowledge of the gift as much as possible and ask for nothing in return… to me that is the key element… to provide for another that cannot return the favor…

There is much anger fear and aggression in the world… it bubbles forth when we least expect it and when we draw those lines in the sands of time… historically man is inhuman to other men that are not the same as they are… we have considered it our duty to enslave the lesser… to educate the infidels and to convert the inferior heathens… what we have found at times at that while our strength wins the day we have never won the hearts of anyone we have enslaved, educated or converted… individuals are no different than entire countries or peoples… in fact they are more volatile and in some ways their actions become more personal…

I will spend today watching the weather maps… it is days like today that I prefer to have some thing tangible to do… my work most often is the kind of job that requires the activity of others… things have to be happening… orders coming in… the phones ringing with questions… e-mails to answer… all of that comes to a grinding halt when it snows… everyone who makes it to work is wondering how they are going to make it home… all anyone wishes to talk about is the weather outside… so consequently not a hell of a lot of work gets taken care of… a small price to pay for the dedication of those individuals who are willing to deal with the highways to get here… the problem is all timing… this one is falling at the time of the month when it is most unwanted… last minute hustle and bustle aside… I could use not losing a day… butt there is not much I can do… as each person arrives they go through the same litany of questions and answers about the roads and the conditions and how many others are fighting their way into work… and it goes on and on and since we have staggered starting times this will continue for a bit of time… and then it will lull for a time until the mid day when this storm begins to really get going… and everyone will want to know if we are releasing them early… the early arrivals all want to depart before lunch time to be home before the lunch crowd gathers on the roads… me I like traveling in the snow… what I dislike is all the others on the road with me… I do well in snow… it is all the others who think they know how to drive in the stuff who really have no idea that scare me… butt being in charge has its price… and the price is that when it snows you need to make the effort to get to the business bright and early to open the doors and be there for when the others arrive… a sort of running joke we have over who can be there the earliest on days when it snows… it is always one of the three… the rest never even manage to get out of bed I think before we are here working the details out on the day… today is a snow day… a day to sit and ponder the slips… the slides… and the long drive home later… I will be amazed if I can take the boredom till noon time or beyond… at least I can still let my imagination wander around and around and see where it comes out…

Certain questions have no answers that can be honed logically… they are known to us intuitively… we know because we are within the situation they are based on… love is one of those experiences that trap our minds… our hearts and souls… we are captives in love… yet we know when the one we love is not open to us… we know when there is a barrier between us… we may choose to ignore it and believe we can change one or the other… this is the fallacy of love… we are unable to change any one for any reason… we can bend them to our way or routine by force butt that is not the basis for a lasting relationship… they have to sense the need for change and be willing to do so for themselves… not for the other… the change is predicated on the need to alter how they do some thing…

Small shards are memories of the peace… to me it is not the physical piece that we are reminded of butt the inner peace we connect to when we hold it… there is an odd phenomenon that I have experienced while collecting shards along the shore line… be it a piece of glass… a sliver of old wood… a shell or a stone of some shape or size… every so often I find one that reminds me of some where or some place in time… not always of this time… some have powerful reminders of other times… perhaps in another life I have held this very same stone… or perhaps it is my imagination just getting the better of me… have you ever met some one you instantly knew intimately… they touched you and you immediately grasped their presence to the core of your being… I have had that experience in my life on two or three occasions… small shards of a past time or perhaps soul friends… what I remember about the initial connection is the intensity… the heat… the passion that blazed and still does when ever we are close to one another… very unique that was… perhaps they are small shards of a larger peace…

The ride was a slow one at first… the closer one is to home to away from home the slower the going gets… once we break out of the back ways onto the more used open roads the going gets smoother… we become one the many… one of the crowd… our margins for error become less when we are surrounded by others moving along at speed… a single bump can send us careening into the wall or off the beaten track… there is also comfort in moving with the masses… a slow approach to the bends… the exits and entrances… we ride along… we drive along… we carry our hopes and dreams along with us… the long and winding road is the fire that breathes and inspires our focus and direction…

Anger is justified at times… the direction of the anger is what we need to realize… easy it is to vent on some one other than the one who truly deserves it… perhaps that is the lesson I have learned over time… I vent at the one who deserves to be vented on… I am way too old to let disrespect stand or to allow another to have power over me… if a person is unprofessional… deceitful or in any way does not handle themselves with proper decorum then I feel that I can bring them to task for that…

We are at times at the mercy of the technology we have… be it a watch to tell the time… a cell phone… a computer… a combination of all three… we get used to the technology making our lives easier… taking away some of the mundane repetitive tasks we need taken care of… what do we sacrifice when we allow technology to dominate our lives… do we lose the ability to speak to one another face to face… do we lose the ability to be social other than screen to screen or text message to text message… the sum of the whole allows us to be in touch at all times… the down side of the mix is that we can become so connected with the technology that we lose ourselves… our identity in the machine… or we impart our personality to the mechanism and forget that its purpose was to make our lives easier… not for us to become slaves to the machine…

The before cast is for a mountain of snow… the line swings some where other than across my mind… after a time the prospects are dangerously thin… while I dislike being a slave to the weather… it can at times trap us in our hovels… best to lay in the proper tools for the siege… plenty of food… books to read and hope fully we will not lose power for with that goes the heat… and with the heat goes the comfort… I can stand the cold outside if the warm inside remains… we can have one step in each place and still remain focused… the prospect of such a storm can wither the resolve of even the staunchest hardened winter loving person…

At times we all prefer another’s life to our own… we romanticize what another’s life is… life is always greener over another’s septic tank… it is when we step inside another’s shoes that we find that our life is not so bad… I know what is meant by the wish… it helps to be able to step out of a situation and just breathe some times… in that regard putting our life on hold and enjoying another’s is preferred… the unfortunate part is that there really is no way to put our life on hold for very long… perhaps an hour or two or an evening… butt eventually we have to get back in the saddle and ride the horse we came in on… be it a bucking bronco or the old grey mare… or a white stallion… does not matter… what matters is that it is ours and what is ours can’t be push away or turned over to another… the die is cast and we have to play the game… smile and embrace the moment for while you and I can play we will play…

Interesting thought to get blown away… to have ones mind taken and pushed through with air… to feel the cleaning breath of spring time open the vault of your imagination and push it aside… of course this is only one perspective of being blown away… to each decides their own particular way of being taken and rolled in the wisp of the four winds…

Reconstruction never works in my opinion… the new is never as treasured as the old… besides we can never replicate the feel of the old… even when we reproduce a good copy it is not the same as the original… so what is the point of reconstructing… what we should do in its place is move forward with some that that celebrates what was at the same time opening up the possibility of what is to come… we should never forget where we have come from or we run the risk of making some of the same mistakes our forefathers did… history is important to every culture and society… at the same time we should not allow the past to limit our future development… we can reconstruct a bit of the old… butt as we are we should add a bit of the present tense so that what we create has a reverence for the old ways and a practical knowledge of what is required today…

Leaps of faith… leaps of challenge… of joy… of ideas that spring forth from the pages… I wonder about the leaps that take turns jumping over obstacles to see how fast they can move beyond them… I find the barriers in life at times mists… clouds of vision that obscure the walls that sit before us… or do they exist in the mist at all… what is in the mist… perhaps all it is… is what we put there before ourselves… some fear… some anxiety… some trepidation… a bit of this and that… some practical implications… and suddenly we have a very dense sort of mist that shrouds the next step in a veil we fail to see through… and the only way to get to the next step is to leap blind… to have enough faith in ourselves and our abilities to just let go of the here and the now and dive forward… we need to believe in the power of our abilities… in the midst of it all who better to tear down the wall then the one who built it originally…

Perhaps in time as I roll on in age there will be an opportunity to sit in the park and read… butt I do think those of us with books will be fewer than those with some sort of electronic gadget that reads to them… I may even be one of them… for lack of a better way or perhaps limitations of sight will prevent me from doing what I love best… there was an old twilight zone show about that… a person who wanted to be left alone to read… and when he finally got his chance… he broke his glasses… that is the twist… the old be care full what you ask for solution to the problem…

I have seen my share of cruelty… of fights for no reason other than ideas… of race and religion being at the center of a disagreement… people shot… stabbed… robbed… I did have a color filled youth… those times are long ago and far away… butt they still remain prominent in my mind… hard to see some one get shot and not be changed by it… the things people do to one another… I guess shooting is preferential to some other prisons we can find ourselves within… is there anything worse than being held by no strings but the power of some one’s domination… I am not sure…

Love is truly the one experience in life that we define for ourselves… we know it by our nature… I like to think that people are not perfect… in fact it is our imperfections are what usually pulls us together… so it is the imperfections that perfectly compliment one to the other… and two become one… how they fit is not for anyone to judge or knot… in fact many a person has considered the coupling of my wife and I… they don’t see how we fit… because on the surface… superficially we don’t… I am morning she is night time… I am very earthy with my thoughts and comments she is much more refined than I will ever be… yet we do fit… it is not whether we are perfect at all… just if we are perfect for one and the other… and that is why love is all things and knot one thing in particular… it is sensual for sure… passionate and it pushes the limit of the human mind… it is emotional and very spiritual… Godde is love is a favorite theme of many religions… but if asked to define it… you will get as many definitions as there are people who deem to answer it… for it truly does not fit a singular frame nor should it ever do so… love is the air we breathe… the time we share… the washing of the dishes… or clothes… the care we take to wrap a present… or to cook a meal… love is all things new and different… routine and familiar… love exists in all manner of ideas and concepts… some we will embrace others we will ignore… all have the potential to change a life… for once you find love… your life is forever changed for the better…

Winter still grips us… work up this morning to another few inches of snow with sleet falling and the promise of rain for the afternoon as the temperatures slowly rise above the freezing mark… winter has her grip upon us this week and into the weekend as a series of storms roll across the country to ride up the coast and deposit more snow… or if we are lucky some wind and rain… I am tired of the snow actually… tired of the temperatures that keep me inside the house… I wish to be out side doing things… some thing… almost anything other than being indoors now is preferable…

Our journeys all end with us coming home and returning to where we left off… while we can put certain aspects of our life on hold… other pieces have to continue… after a time things just need to be taken care of… there is never a good time for cars to be taken care of or repairs to be done on ones home… they always seem to occur just when we least are capable of dealing with them… perhaps they are tests for us to over come… any thing really worthy of our time does require and effort… in the trials we engage in we are in all ways at a disadvantage… they know a bit more… yet any appeal is to the heart… if one has a heart for such matters… the system is a tough barrier to anyone… and when we are attempting to deal with the barriers that one country has with another it is in all ways an exponential wall to climb… though we do… and we will find our way through the system… the trick is to be persistent…

There is a saying that one cannot be a prophet in their own land… this is very true for when we attempt to aid others who are familiar to us they reflect it back upon us… look if Jesus couldn’t deal with being a prophet in his own land… I think there is some truth to the saying… so it is probably best to just let it go… not to allow others their way… butt to knot feel we have to do it… some times the message another carries even when it is the same message as ours is received openly where ours smacks up against it… at least that is what I have found for myself… I can be very successful with other people… butt member of my own family… forget it…

We truly have the most success when we follow our hearts into doing what we care about… even if the success is not financial… for success is not about dollars as much as it is about attitude and state of mind and happiness… so follow where you hearts leads you and when the time comes to make a choice you will make the one that will have the most impact for you… it does seem that the experience of being on the treadmill of implementation of a policy is a very good basis for stepping into the a mode of change to those very same policies… common sense is never applied to laws and regulations… they are made politically… and those choices have nothing to do with what is right or wrong… butt what is politically correct at that moment in time…

The words you use can alter a person’s perspective… intention is what is important… and a degree of flexibility… when we are faced with the coarse or crass or even the belligerent we can move them to a better place with our actions and or with our words… the sound of a voice at times has the same calming effect as a knock on the head… some prefer the knock on the head… I have learned that the voice is a better avenue… though with some people the knock is the only avenue… they live to instill fear… they enjoy the sensation of anger and aggression for it allows them to feel power over another… those are dark emotions and while they grant temporary adrenaline based strength… they do eventually lead to a place where the wall against you will loom large… better to learn to walk quietly… the big stick can be used when necessary and at times it is necessary to stand up and be counted… in today’s day and age you need to be careful for you never know… but for the most part… bullies never change… they tend to back down when confronted by righteous individuals…

The day or our days are cyclic… what goes round does come around again… if we are patient enough or some times foolish enough to wait… patience we need for the good things… we are foolish when we use our patience to wait for something that is clearly never coming around… or at least it is not coming around in the near future… at some point we need to draw the separation lines around what was and what is… the future well that is always in a flux and can change from moment to moment depending on actions of others… we can’t and should not control the future ours or anyone else’s… once our needs are being met… we can branch out to find comfort in doing what we enjoy… the song while it is similar in nature differs for each of us… we can and often do get mired in hope for our children and what they can do with their lives… what we can’t do is live their lives or when they come into conflicts allow them to miss the opportunity to learn what that means… some people need to move along and learn how to take care of themselves… blood while thick can and is thinned out by inappropriate blame… the fool blames everyone butt themselves for the path their life takes… when all they would ever have to do to change that is accept what is and then to do some thing different… change is not really that hard a barrier to over come… we are all masters of change… some just use it to stay the same in the face of the world changing around them…

The old saying that one gets more with honey then they do with vinegar is very truth full… the way in witch we arrange our words… the emotion we place behind them influence others… and words spoken in calm amidst the chaos of a moment are more often taken to heart then pointed words that stab at the heart… so perhaps it is best to hold our tongues and sweeten them a bit before we bite into some one… there is no reason to burn a bridge or to cause undue irritation until such time as it is due… there are moments when the separation needs to be made clear and precise… in those moments the sugar coated pill is not often the best choice… the road does have some bumps in it and we do at times have to stand in the middle and say no… at those times a pointed and direct vinegar soaked response is often the best medicine one can deliver…

The male mind is turbulent… often not at peace unless doing some thing… a purpose in constant motion… fast… furious… simple… direct… unassuming and yet a paradox… for the male mind can take on a variety of choices and balance them in the palm and the other palm… and the mind… and be honest and sincere and loving… all the while keeping the balls moving in the air… unlike a female the male is all business and structure… facts and figures… formulas and energy expressed in doing the task as well as thinking… more doing is required of the male mind… we plan and then we do… planning for the sake of planning or knowing how when the time comes is less useful then planning using… learning… adjusting… using… fine tuning… using… there must in the male mind be action… reaction… it is by a degree a sport… an activity…

People asked and found my answer perplexing to the question or comment that I must have a vivid imagination… the truth be told it is very similar to what I have heard described… unless I bring the image into focus and pull from the frame more detail it appears to my mind’s eye very much like a work of impressionist art… at first I believed this to be a flaw of concentration because I could clarify the images… the sounds the senses all if I focused on them… butt then I realized some thing magical about the impression… it has more energy… more potential for creative interpretation… it swirls with passion and desire where the clear precise image has singular purpose that is etched some what in the stone of the moment… the impression has endless potential energy to inspire a reaction… I over stand the wonder… and I only bring to full clarity that witch needs to be seen in that light… other wise I save the energy for more use full travels…

Each has their road to love… some travel it still… even at our age love is never far from ones reach… I have known a number of people who give up on the opportunities… who have succumbed to the resigned state of never finding that one… I am saddened by that realization that for them… love has escaped their heart and soul… perhaps it is that the love of their lives has eluded them or they have felt that love so deeply and so profoundly that another love does not touch them in the same way… I hope this is the truth as opposed to the former idea that love has escaped them… I find love is every where and possible within the realm in witch we reside… our hope or our dreams some times take the reality of love into the fantasy world… where everyone is perfect all the time… I some times sit back and find the humor in that… love is a double edged sword… it cuts and heals… takes away and gives… it is physical emotional and deeply spiritual… it is shared endless and with all those willing to accept it… family… friends… lovers… whom ever falls into our embrace… our touch… my journey was not difficult butt it did have those one or two stops where the blade did cut me… where I still can touch the scar and feel the intensity of the emotion… where my soul can ache… I am a better person for having walked that path for I am sensitive to the slice that the sword I carry makes… it is some what like a fight love is… we parry and thrust… we inch closer and move away… we entangle the other in our desire and they in turn do what they can to spin their web upon us… would I have taken another road… a road that had more enticements… a road that required less fortitude… perhaps in my youth I would have fallen prey to such tangents… even now we all have our danger zones or we know what those danger zones are at least… youth full exuberance causes leaps where we should stop… look around… and beware… age gives us that wisdom… that sense that there is a road we need to stay upon for it is a road of least harm… least danger… and best of all… it is the road where love expands exponentially… each walks this road from their own beginning to their own ending…

The lesson that we can learn from the instruction of others or the experiences of others is an important one… we don’t need to cut ourselves to know to be careful with knives… or with electricity… or with the hot and the bitterly cold… we do tend to the experience over the word… that can be both good and bad… certain experiences will stay with us and give us direction… others can kill us… or send us down a road we cannot extract ourselves from… how we separate out the I can touch and feel this experience from the I better learn this one from a witness perspective will define us… I saw some one shot… I don’t need to experience that myself to know slight variations can kill… one survived… one did not… inches are powerful degrees… I have learned to learn from others as much as I can before taking on the adventure of finding out for myself… it makes me overly cautious at times… yes it does… protective… certainly… the leaping I did in my youth… I learned that before one leaps make sure there is enough water in the pool… drowning while unpleasant is a lot better than spending a life strapped to a chair because what you believed was water was actually just air… strange string of thoughts this is…

How long is a moment… a second… minute… an hour… or is it a day… a week… a month… a year… a decade… a lifetime… Time is our master because time is what we have made of it… time is man made… it is our way of saying this is where I was… this is where I am… and this is where I am going… it is a way to file information… a means to clarify our journey from birth… in the universe all time exists in one day… then in one year… after that the universe does not count for it begins to cycle around again… one season is not notched off against another it is just the beginning of a new cycle… we as people have taken the concept of time and managed it so we can judge how we have measured up to the times before… progress made or lost… time is relative to me… when I am enjoying myself the time moves swiftly and pleasantly along… when I am struggling with a moment I often am sitting in a line some where waiting… so I find ways to use the time granted me… when it slows down I sue it to remember a moment of pure indulgent joy… when it speeds us I step in between the seconds as they tick so I can thoroughly enjoy each movement of the second hand…

I am already eclectic… can eccentric be far behind… I can see myself older wandering in a park sitting on a bench beneath a tree reading a book… as people wander by shaking their heads… books being so old they date me… a bit of music playing… another ancient to their eyes artifact… time passes us and some times what is taken by time is not a very positive choice… I am old fashioned in that I believe in the tangible feel of a book in your hands and at times a pen… though I will say that typing is much easier especially with spell check… butt could I exist without it… yes… would I want to… know more than anything else I have learned to master… books on the other hand are familiar havens… collections that line shelves… they define self… give us a chance to read and create our heroes… it should be tangible… perhaps in time the electronic versions will be… butt for now… I want the feel of it in my hands…

Freedom allows you the avenue of your response… answer as the inspiration calls you… speak as the heart allows… I trust that your words will find a spark in the long or the short… you have an innate ability to grasp not only what is being said butt what is knot being said butt implied… and then folding it back neatly to the other… softly… you are an artist of expression… you paint with words… I splatter… you create figures that dance across the page… is that mystical… you are some what soul full in how you connect to others so yes that is a mystic connection or it feels so…

I write pages… or perhaps the term is I am the conduit for pages of words… am I actually composing what finds its way to the page or am I the extension of some other means… I am unsure of the correct answer… in some moments of pure passionate creativity I am fully unaware of what is being written and I am unable to recall even writing it down… at other times like now I am aware of the pattern of the words and the thought that is behind it… it this any less artistic… perhaps it is more realistic… the mind goes where the string of consciousness takes me… I have never said I was a good artist or that any words I write are artistic beyond the realm of my own making… this is my art… my portrait… it is for know one other than those who take it in that light… there are eyes that seek to frame the portrait in the gilded outline of their eyes… it does not fit nor will it ever fit that type of surrounding… that requires a certain special touch of refinement I lack and frankly speaking I never wish to have…

We leave… we wander… we travel… we take time to have an adventure… we explore the four corners… the sides… the middle… the top and the bottom… we find reasons to be here in the midst of the dawn as she rises from her bed… some of it is dream like… parts or peaces of the whole are tangible… real… they are pressed tightly to ones breast… some journeys are taken on in a moments notice… others are planned for well in advance… both have their limits and their time in our lives… we begin going one way and we find that after a time we are returning back to where we started… a complete circle… a fascinating revolution in time… we walked… we rode… we sat in silence and then were entertained by the many varied sites that we remembered… there was a reason we left this piece of earth so long ago… now that we are back on the frozen ground we remember the path we took before… some reminders are not pleasant… others are less so… butt still when one leaves a peace of their life they do so for valid reasons and they still exist… this life is no longer the life… this life is another’s… and sow the circle comes back around and we find ourselves longing for the warmth of our own bed our own place in the solitude of time… we made the circle look easy… appear small… tucked it away inside our pocket and with a sigh of completion put it to rest… I am home… back to where I began…

The sense others have of us can be revealing in ways we never imagined… others see what our eyes are blind to… for the most part this is for the better… what we see as old hat or abilities we have in all was possess… others can see the magic in… take the ability to draw… if you have it… it is not a big deal… just some thing I am capable of… ho hum… to one who lacks that talent… it is some thing that that is magical and should be exercised until honed into a precise tool… but to us it is there… always was… always will be… from that perspective another’s view may help motivate us to use the skills and talents we have… the other side of that coin is that our opinions well can be strikingly pointed if we allow them to pierce the façade of another… to this is what is alluded and to this we must guard against… for while it maybe freeing to unleash our tongue on some one for their shortsighted bigotry… it is probably better for all to be a gentle reminder that while you may disagree with me I have my own opinions and I make my own choices… some people like to add vice to others without the invitation… they feel it is necessary… that it is their duty to protect others from themselves… the truth is they are probably wishing they had the nerve to do the same things they counsel against…

After a time the path becomes weary… after a time the routine of question and answer becomes the cause and effect… a few drift by… the character is but a small figment of the reality… butt few like the simmer pool… few enjoy the heated exchange of opinion… most love the mundane of everyday… while I prefer the part where we drop into the dream… there is enough of the very day in my every day I am not compelled to share the routine of everyday… so many just want to chat about what went on today at home and work… I wish to create a tapestry from the emotions that exist in the exchange of ideas and thoughts…

There is for me a pattern… or should I say I watch for patterns of response or behaviors… that is what sets into my mind the intent of a person… not what they speak… not what they espouse at the top of their lungs… butt what they do… I am guilty of the same thing myself… in a moment I will intend to do some thing that over time I find I am incapable of continuing or even doing for the first time… from this comes the wisdom of promises… witch ones to make… witch ones do we stop ourselves short of making… people have learned to make promises that are ambiguous… deceit full… intended knot to invite butt to separate… so I watch for what is revealed in a person’s response… their actions… reactions… there is a saying that many are called… few hear the words and one or two answer… or are chosen from the select few who have the courage to respond… perhaps that is what defines us one to the other… we are surrounded not by the many… butt simply by the select few that had the courage to step forth and be counted… so when the words come out I am interested in what I sense in them… when the words came across and were answered I am interested in the reaction to my reaction… and so forth and so on… at times the flow ebbs… even dissolves for a time into silence… a pool of calm that is stilled in silence… not a ripple… not a disturbance of any kind or consideration… that is the reality of action and reaction… of being led and following… of the curve in the road that when we turn we are struck by the beauty… of the silence we can sit within the folds of and just sigh for the delight it brings forth… or is the silence the ignorance of the moment… is the silence we share the reaction honed from the pattern of parry and thrust… a mixture of old and new… trying to hold onto both sides of the equation and not succeeding in either one nor the other… one cannot split the emotions it is not done that way… human relationships are all encompassing until we learn that love is an endless fountain of possibility… that is a lesson not easily won nor lost… it is one we experience through the trials of our life… when we fail and we succeed… when they stay with us in spite of… and even some times because of the way we react and act… and dance around the answers… we are trying and that is the point exactly… we are trying to be what we are not and hold the past with the present as one and the same… they are not the same thing… what is felt for each is unique and separate and while under the same umbrella they are not the same sensations that you physically ripple through… the here and now is more important… the nakedness of the moment of now is more important than any thought that comes forward from a past… now is what creates the future that is better… and now is worlds better that the past… so in the now breathe in the wonder of the songs you hear within your mind… and enjoy the sensations that ripple across your being be they the real touch of a finger or the imagined touch of an illusion… enjoy them for the reactions you bring forth within you… and for the motivation they give you to rise above the past… to stand beyond the lip of today and scream this is where I begin… not where you end… butt precisely where living begins…

I have learned to take a small snippet of some thing and run with it… not because it is the only thing said or in fact it may not even be said at all… I take what I grasped from the fountain and I play with the droplets as they cascade up and out and back into the pool of water that sits waiting to get pulled back inside the fixture to plunge upward and out once more… what I grasp some times is obvious… at other times I come across an idea and play with it… the concept has become for me a cultivation of the exchange… one or two strokes across the ground… a seed planted so that in time some thing new and interesting bears fruit… when one takes they should take inspiration from the words shared with them… inspiration to write back… to share their inner moments… to exchange not only what is in their minds… butt also what is in their hearts and souls… it seems that is a lot for some people to contemplate… butt for me that level of trust is what I cultivate… that level of intrigue… there was an artist I knew who a very long time ago… being a student of engineering knowing artists was rare and knowing one who was female was even rarer still… she was a creative entity that I never failed to be in awe of… I happened to be a witness to one of her stretches of the imagination as she called it… a moment of intense creative passion… where by the moment is lost entirely in the process of creativity… she became lost in her art… so lost that time stood still… at least it seems to… float by in minutes… hours… so much so that two days passed without notice and her loft was covered in creations of magic… that is what I sometimes seek… the wonder of those two days… for they seem to ignite some thing inside we that has never dwindled in intensity… she often said that any art is a subtle nakedness… it is life the artist and the creation are lovers… each one giving and taking form the other until they both lie in the aftermath exhausted and satisfied… that image haunts me still… we lost touch as her avenue of success was very different then mine… I often wonder what has happened to her… she was such a unique flame… the differences in our attitudes about life at that time were so distant and extreme I still wonder how we were ever friends even for that small space of a year in time… water and oil don’t mix my grandmother used to say… and at that time in my life that was a mixture of oil and water… my mind was never one that embraced the strict structure of my education… numbers formulas… I was comfortable with them… I took the easy path… I did not stretch my abilities… I went were I knew I could go easily… it worked out well… it is where I met and fell in love… it is where I was able to find employment and have been successful… I do often wonder what if I had been more courageous in my education if I would have had the same style of success… if I would have been able to conquer the world in the same way… perhaps that is my regret… when I sit in my chair old in age with grandchildren around I will regret not having been more adventurous… even now at this junction of intersections of my life I am being cautious and careful… I trust easily… I learned to do that… even when burned by it… I learned that the opposite is preferred by the majority… I tend to lean to the trust of the unfamiliar hand… I prefer to err in such a way as to say I stretched out my hand and the fingers of mine entangled those of another and we lifted each other up a step or two…

As anyone can tell who reads the rambling prose of mine there seems to be know rhyme nor reason… and then a lot… it takes a great deal of care to nurture the cross gender relationships… it is not the same sort of friendship that occurs in similar genders… it is the truth that each much be careful to consider the other side of the equation… the male mind is easily shifted… a some what loose sense exists in the male DNA… we are by nature farm animals… and so our ideas of sport… food… and sport come into play… it is a rare soul that sees the other side with the same sense of humor as they see themselves… I enjoy the ties that bind us one to another and cherish the idea… am I unique in that… perhaps…

The sirens call me home… they call the lost to their breasts to cast them upon the rocky shoals and them to feast upon their flesh… the sirens tell you softly and sweetly all about the who you are… pulling you inside the circle of their desire… demanding you thrust your life to the four winds and dive into the pool and swim to the shore where they can reveal themselves… half human with sweet voices… and half animal with talons for ripping and beaks for devouring the scraps of any life given freely to them… I have heard the siren’s song and fell prey to their sweetness and watched as they ripped me to shreds after having their fill of me… has not everyone fallen prey to the sweet sound and caress of some one and been left cold and alone… I pity those who have never dared to leap into the water in search of the passion they deemed to be there… life is less for those who never had that kind of balls to the wall desire… to throw it all aside and just fling themselves into the vortex… come what may… that is love is it not… but instead of finding a siren at the other side we find another soul as passionate and creative as we are… we find the peace that makes us… us…

What I dislike is being stupid… when I do some thing stupid… when I should know better and did not act as I did… that is what I dislike more than anything else… we all do make mistakes and I make my fair share of mistakes and missteps… you haven’t lived if you can’t say that… what I am speaking of here are the missteps and miscalculations we know will knot work out… we know they are doomed to failure and we should not venture down this road… one of those what the hell were you thinking… of yea you weren’t… or at least not with the head on your shoulders… it is nice to hear that there will never be a shortage of men not thinking a situation through before jumping into it… the bold and the brash we are… so when I do some thing profoundly stupid… I dislike that… the problem is I know I will do stupid things again… it is part of the fun I guess… what was I thinking… Godde knows butt I can be assured of one thing… it is never that bad… I doubt I will make the news… local or otherwise…

Once up on time we will never come down… to find yourself up on time takes courage of a most deep kind… time is what we dream about having more of… imagine being up on time and controlling the motions of time itself… of having the power over time to slow time down… to frame time in the proper light… to hold time in your arms and whisper to time and again…

Adventures to me are private affairs that we take on… they are for the shadows… public personas are best kept as common as the surroundings… that is for me… for I wish not to attract attention to myself for anything other than being myself… if that attracts attention then there is little I can do about the focus… butt I am not advertising me… the public is not welcome inside the fortress of me… I dislike the way the focus of another’s ideas twist the truth around… mold it for another’s purpose… while I have my standards I over stand that mine are the standards that I fly and some times fail to keep they are mine and while another can and will have differences my standard is not theirs… my values and code of conduct is not the same… it is similar in foundation to many… I am an open person so I can allow for another to make their own decisions and take the consequences of what they do… these to me are private and personal… so many wish to wear the tabard of goodness upon their chest and do the opposite outside the light… it is impossible to do both for an extended period of time… we all fall down… we all make mistakes in the choices we make in life… not everything we do will result in perfect outcomes… we screw up and down and witch way sideways… that is how we know not to judge others… not to put our moral code over another’s life… yet all the same… we do live by a moral code and laws flow from those morals… it is impossible to live in society without some agreement on these… some surrendering of personal freedoms to gain a semblance of order… those should be as few and as far in between as we can manage… let the lest be our guide… life liberty the pursuit of happiness… great words… some rights are not granted they just are there for every one of us and it takes a strong will to resist public opinion when it comes to those rights… organizations be they political or religious desire a reduction in rights to further their ideals… if you all were only just like me the world would be a much better place… what truthfully makes the world a much better place is the diversity of thought that comes from the differences of culture… education… religion and just plain life experience… some become radical about their beliefs… they are the extreme left or right of the main stream of thought… it is easy to blame the dragon for all your problems… instead of taking responsibility for yourself… the least one is allowed to know the better… and in this world of cyber information it is more critical that the least is known…

My retreats tend to be forward toward the morrow that looms in my mind… I come from a long twisted line of under and over achievements… some far reaching others far beneath one’s ability… I wander the palisade and wonder… aloud mostly at the top of my lungs I scream in silence of the unfair and the cruel and it is all of my own doing… know one chains me butt myself… know one has ne tied to the mast butt myself… know one stands in the way of my progress butt my own self interest… am I the coward that is the face upon the standard hidden behind the veil of another… perhaps I am… perhaps I am the false face or the façade that is waved in advance of the approaching storm… or perhaps I am just a shadow or mystery that will never be solved… is comfort a sense of cowardice… is being at ease with oneself a form of weakness… a sign of the fragile nature of one’s protection to knot venture forth to take on the beasts of one’s imagination… I am running full speed ahead away from my past retreating as quickly as I can manage to find solace in the forest of my dreams where ever they may be… I await the dawn’s first light to open my eyes witch have been awake since long before… light comes earlier and earlier each day opening the door to the promise of springtime… as much as I enjoy the waning darkness of dawn… I love the first soft light of day as it opens the eyes and stretches out the muscles of the imagination… if I must retreat some where it is here at first light I retreat to the sounds of waking… of birds chirping… of the calm winds blowing… the first sweet scent of spring on the air… a cool crispness that speaks of possibility and potential in the first glimmer of light that eases out like a cat stretching it limbs… slowly a wave… an arch of muscles opens the door and says welcome to the day…
The tangible is real… the intangible is real… as well as imagined… of course the imagined is to a certain extent real also… it does depend on what you believe… if you believe in some thing or some one you can sense in them that belief you have about them… even when they themselves fail to realize it… or sense it… a belief is very powerful… so when I allude to the tangible that is the written words shared and exchanged… the intangible is all the many ideas and concepts not explicit butt implied… for example the word sex… left on the page in the context of what is written it has meaning… there are two sexes… male and female… like a question on a document… name… address… sex… one could answer yes please… and the word becomes a verb… not the noun it was before… so where does the imagination take what we write down and where does it travel off to with it and where can we find it later on in the afternoon while we are singing a song or sitting for tea… does one simple word do that… of course it can and often does… especially a word like sex… there are other words… all have those double meanings… those wonderful ambiguous strings that make us smile… so as we wrap our minds around the tangible exchange we are also lost in the strings of the intangible web we are weaving…

People get lost in the foreplay of friendship… people are afraid of what they sense in another… what they feel inside that another intends… so what happens is that the door opens for a time then closes… not because of anything said or exchanged butt of what is taken as an implied thought… there are those that believe that friendships never exist across gender… that men are incapable… my belief is that there is this wall of bias that swings both ways… and you need to over stand the other side… men are easy… will always be easy… once that is completely over stood then there is never a problem… I am often told that I am unique and different in the ways I deal with people… well I have few expectations… my house is built not on the foundation of expectations for another to provide for me… butt on the expectations I have for myself… I have made mistakes and misinterpreted the meanings of what others have said… that does make me evil in their eyes butt not in mine… have I screwed up… yes and down and every witch way sides ways… another one of those ambiguous words… screw… my intention was impure so the outcome was impure and the fault is mine alone… and I take that responsibility upon my own shoulders and I feel the loss of the association I had once every day… butt it will not change the past… the many days and times before are now tainted by a lack of action… by doing what was right… in the wrong way… and that truly only happens between genders in friendships… those trials for me were long ago and far away butt they are foremost in my mind… I over stand the foreplay of words… the after play of thoughts… the string of emotions that come and go inside my mind are threads I have experienced in my life time and again I will find them over and over…

My wife asked me once what I dream about and I took her hand and mind and asked her to share a dream with me… to let her mind melt a bit with mine… we woke up later and she could not remember exactly what transpired in the dream or if she had dreamed at all… butt I do… I remember the dreams I have and the places I wander at night… I remember the forest and the trees and the solitude of my place beside the river… I know the true faces of those who wander in and sit for a spell… who speak to my mind and wash over me in waves of inspiration and passion for the art and for the body mind and soul… is this imagined or is it real… it all depends on what you believe…

Most days my alarm clock never rings… or I am awake just before it goes off… a gentle shake… a good morning whispered in my ear… a series of sounds that ripple across my spine and to the tips of my toes from the tops of my ears… a gentle peaceful shiver of awakening wonder… a slow wave of music… that builds and pushes me up and out of bed… to rise and greet the new day… there is no trouble in stirring myself from the warmth of the covers… the alarm clock is an internal switch that swings me alive… that pilots me awake and out into the world to smile upon dawn… the image of her awakening… stretching out her arms and smiling… whispering good morning… and taking me by the hand and sparking the soul to a passionate delight of being alive… it is time to get up and get going…

The cycle of action and reaction is for each unique and similar… there are patterns that acute observation picks up… often the loss of words is useful for what is there any one can say… we all have experienced the shock… or the relief and even that is still sad to some degree… each of us shoulders this experience in life different… to me my journey is a very singular one… there is that play upon words and ghoulish sense of humor that comes out… as well as the quiet solitude of the passing of time and the sentimental frame I put upon things… the immediate moments are taken up in the spiral of tasks needing to be taken care of… it is the much later when the wall is hit… the opening of the mind to the reality… the immediate for me is far too much of a raging vortex…

Meeting some one who truly lives life on the edge can be some what exhilarating… I am talking about a fearless individual who does not mind being out in front… most of don’t fear failure as such… we fear being seen to fail… we fear the public view of our failure and we see life in those terms… success or failure… the fear is not of doing some thing… the fear is that we will not be what we imagined… I write… I am not a writer of books or articles for publication so when some one says that to me I smile… I lack the structure and the focus to be a writer… yet I fear at times the public eye… I dislike it… so I know the fear… I enjoy the anonymous nature of who I am… in fact I have learned that I am more capable in the shadows than in the light… so when I meet some one who is truly fearless of the lime light I am impressed… for they take the slings and the arrows and move on… where I find it difficult to even stick my head out of my own private Idaho on any given day…

The opportunity is what is offered… there is a saying that many are called and few answer and even less stay long enough to know any thing more that a name or a place… what stirs us all is the desire to build upon the first stretch of the hand… to take the action and react… and then to react to that so that each series of responses builds into some thing magical… relationships between people across distances have the same needs as ones right in front of us… they need to be sparked… ignited… stirred… in a sense they need to be spun… each action is an invitation to react… to add some fuel to the fire… so that we build a warm bridge that each enjoys for what it provides… some place to smile… to share… to go in the dark or the light and open the door and see who is out and about ready to play or to just listen…

You will find that with me there are no limits of time or space… I have my moments of quiet and my moments of expressed rambling… I believe that the more one talks the closer the reality comes to the surface… life is very rich with possibilities… and it is Friday… so we tend to see more of them…

I suspect I see more grey areas in life than the basic black and white of things… perhaps it is easier to deal with things if we see them as either right or wrong… left or right… up or down… my experiences have left me some times wondering if there is one way to accomplish anything… one clear path… there are some universal truths of paths that allows us to find comfort… honesty almost all the time is better that fabrication… though I am as guilty as the next person in stretching the truth or in telling the white untruth to protect another’s feelings… as I have grown older I have seen the radical views of others find homes and then seed to disaster… there is a semblance of truth in moderation… balance… a bit of each piece so that each finds a truth they can believe in… my view of the world has changed… my sense of trust in the world has changed… the real change will come from individuals not organizations or governments… it begins with one person listening to another… the frustrations that go along with structure limits what any one person can do… and yet any one person still possess the power to go beyond even what they imagined possible… the grey areas are what stirs in me… the political correctness annoys me… the having to be perfect annoys me… the attitude of superiority annoys me… at some point we all get it that life is unfair… that the more power one has the better able they are to deal with the unfair nature of the world… who ever has the gold rules… is a lesson we learn… money is power and that power is used to control and to purchase the thoughts and the actions of others… am I cynical… yes… do I believe what a person says… no… I believe their actions and what those actions produce… most of all I believe in me… in my ability to sift through the veil of secrecy that hides the truth… nothing is free… nothing ever comes for nothing… it costs some thing to achieve success and some thing is given up to not achieve… when we give up and sit down we not only part with a chance for success we give it to some one else… we give our opportunity to succeed to some one else and allow them a free pass over us…

Easy I am to see the alternative side of the equation… am I easily swayed to another’s point of view… can I be taken over and counted as one of the other side… depends I guess on who is asking the questions and what we are speaking about directly… there are some situations I am easy in and others where I am not… though I may appear to be easy at first… when it comes to the second it does take a bit of coaxing… butt then we all have our weaknesses… some more that others… mine are the common threads that filter through life… at times I eat a bit too much or I drink a bit too much and who does not enjoy the company of others a bit too much at times… these excesses can and do bring about corrections… often they are the vices that grip me… butt who is without vices… in fact I am often ask to add a vice or two to a situation… so how bad it be… in my mind I am some what vice ridden… the difference I have not allowed many to enter into the reality of my every day to day…

We ask questions because we are seeking answers… even when we already know the answer we still ask the questions in the hope that perhaps by hearing an answer we will find an alternative to the path that rises before us… sum questions are for us alone to answer… others can add their insight to the situation we have at hand butt ultimately the choice is ours to make… and yet we still ask… we seek guidance when we are the guide… we ask externally what is the correct path to take when the internal answer is what will lead us…

Intolerant I am of others applying their vision to my art… to my form of expression… people wander in and out and seek to frame my methods in their frame and it just does not fit… that is intentional… the choices I have made and the design I use is intentionally skewed this way… so that it does not fit into the frame that most people will apply to it… the original thought was to create an open un-tethered environment of free form thoughts… no restrictions for proper anything at all… especially the structure of languages… punctuation… etc… the porpoise was to interject into the flow what ever comes out… so that from the many a few can be struck… the trip is that when another reads the passage they wish to see some kind of structure by witch they can see the beginning… the middle and the end… when there is no such illusion until it is over… nothing will make total sense until there is nothing left to explore… to open… to draw… paint… sculpt or express… at any time the road can weave and twist or turn toward another thought that will connect to a thought made previously and still be left unanswered a thousand other queries… and culturally… if that does not make sense then perhaps being of a certain ancestry allows me to spin words in a way that uses the wide expanse of the vocabulary to express a single thought… for why would anyone say just one words when they have a thousand perfectly good ones at their disposal…

Four letter words punctuate our thoughts and vocabulary… four is such a meaningful number… even… though still just one step above or below odd… four splits evenly over our tongues and minds… four is two equal pairs… it allows us to separate into twos another four letter word…

The story is what life is… and that is how life transpires… it does not fit neatly into a fixed row and there it is… in fact life is more about the moment taking us on a wander off the beaten trail when we were just about to leap or when we leaped we found ourselves landing some place we never imagined and now what do we do… so what if the minor becomes the major for a moment… the least shall be first… a lesson we can all take…

When ever there is an opinion given I tend to think it is done from the perspective that they feel it is necessary to defend themselves… I am this way so I am wondering why you are different… this happens on occasion and when it does I am pretty tolerant… but lately I find myself being less so… maybe it is my advanced age… I am so beyond doing things in a specific sort of way to please some one else… either you get me or your don’t… and believe me I have knocked on a number of doors and invited a number of people inside and they take one look and go… gee thanks… butt know thanks… I prefer some one normal… and that is perfectly okay with me… I know I am not a normal correspondent… eventually the details of life come through… but do we have a need to list them out… got up got out of bed… dragged a comb across my head… went down stairs and had a cup and looking up I noticed I was late… grabbed my coat and grab my hat made the bus in seconds flat… it the dream that happens that interests me knot the rush to get to some where… so I am holding off saying anything until some one speaks and I can go into the dream and that is what makes me Abby Normal… and I am ko with that…

No you may wonder what is the reason for even saying that… well because it came to mind that I do really wait until the voice switches me into the dream… the spark of inspiration comes from the strangest places… even a comment can spark a flux in a direction that spirals the mind… and what spirals the mind can be helpful in finding a solution we can enjoy…

Have you ever experimented with taking a phrase or saying and reversing it… example only the good die young… becomes only the young die good… the early bird catches the worm… the early worm catches the bird… witch I am told is pornographic to some people… I find that when I do this small exercise it takes the world that is already slanted and tilted to an even stranger perspective… all roads lead to Rome… all Rome leads to roads… and perhaps some where there is a road less traveled and a journey knot yet taken… perhaps that is the one I should ride… or perhaps I should just swing low… a rolling stone gathers no moss… a rolling moss gathers no stone to it… all we have is a wing and a prayer… all we have is a prayer and a wing… it is a leap of faith… that encourages me at times because while in mid air I realize that it is not the words exactly that are four letters that strike me as hard… butt the attitude of the eyes that tuner up when one speaks of four letter words… the seven words we can knot say in good company are all four letters and are some what expressive… I did have some one tell me they were upset about my language… they told me they could not learn from a person who used profanity… know shit I said… imagine that… well if you are going to give me that as a rule I have to test it… interesting that test is a four letter word… as is word… that and well… are they are four letter words we should knot say…

Have you ever danced to the sound of your own music and played the orchestra every note and rhythm… have you ever just got on the dance floor in your mind and waltzed across the room… taken to the floor with some one you have known… inside your mind and danced the hours away… a strange thing happened to me on the way to insanity… I was peaking with a friend who lives across the universe of time from me on an island some where… a big island butt still an island and it is far away from me and she… it is usually a she… said how she loved the dance… the way our words intertwined in her mind was like an endless dance and she could hear this music and eerie as it sounds she was singing the music that was playing on my computer… it does get weird some times… so the soul friends tell me more and more…

Perhaps that is enough weirdness for now… perhaps the time has come for the solitude of mind and the strings that play out across ones story… perhaps some thing more tangible and real… ok that is enough…

Not to many reach out to me… perhaps it is that I am a guy… guys are some what off limits… or it is assumed that they should approach not the other way around… of course I am approachable… or perhaps I am the demon spawn or worse just another guy looking to get something from an unsuspecting lady… are there any of those left in the world…

We all seek some thing different in a friend… some look for an ear to listen… a shoulder to cry upon… some one to exchange the thoughts of the day with… others seek a means by witch to explore the possibilities that the day has to offer…

I am unwilling to find fault with another’s choice of how they wish to experience the time left to them… I have been witness to both sides of the argument and watch as each walked their way along the road… it is difficult to make such a choice and at times even more difficult to stand back and watch… what I thought time and again when I wished to step forward was am I doing this because of my own personal need or want or desire or was I speaking for the best interest of the one… when I stopped and thought about it a lot of times we disagree with a choice like this because of our personal bias or desire… it is in this case much easier to be the one on the outside…

When we achieve the delicate balance we are much happier… the few moments we take for ourselves to do what we please can reap large rewards for all of those around us… it is often said that charity begins at home… that when we do for ourselves we are also doing for others… in this I do heartily agree… we are better prepared to deal with others when we have first taken time for ourselves…

The thing about opportunity is that she knocks quietly and if we are not listening for it we will not hear it… I am sure we are all aware of the sense of lost opportunity… we can look back into the past and point to the time and place where we should have grasped and opportunity… butt for what ever reason when we are in the moment opportunities are not seen as they will be in the future… as parents or as older adults we can some times seize the moment a bit better than say the person the opportunity is directly in front of… it is easy to be bored… it is easy to not do things and complain that we are not getting to where we wish to be… and we do look at others and think that they are trying to be better than us when they step forward and take on a challenge like school… to me it is some what of a challenge to those around to either step up or shut up… the challenges of life are many… and we do so love to see others fail… so a lot of what is going on is a fear of failing on our own part that comes across as a slight to the one who is willing to reach and either fail or succeed… so when opportunity knocks… perhaps we should listen…

The mist shrouds the senses… we see things in the mist that are there in a fleeting sense… we see things from our imagination as sight and sounds are magnified in the mist… and the dreams of our imagination come out to play with us…

For me the process of questioning rests more on the where… with whom… how… and all the others before I ask the why… for me why has a reasoning behind it and before I ask it I want to know as much as I can and then I ask it a number of times in succession to get at the belief or the core… why is tinged with repercussions… or blame u less I am careful with it… for me the process is limited when it is felt as blame… reasons are not always blame oriented I know… what were you thinking is one of those questions that is tainted for me… as well as why… too much pain is associated in my life with why… perhaps that is the truth to it… so for me the why comes last so that all other aspects as covered completely… a personal bias this is… I wonder why that is…

Dreams of castles and far away places are in my genetic structure… difficult I think to be of Celtic ancestry and not dream of castles and far away places… at some point in time some where in time some one of the line lived in a land where castles are… so are they dreams or are they memories coming out of the woodworks of my mind… I have never dreamed of being a knight in armor… or a noble personage… it just does not feel right to do so… not for me… I am much to common of a person to have come down from noble birth… that concept just does not fit into my perception of me… I am sure that everyone else descended from noble ladies and lords of the realm or from great scientific minds… butt I am just a common man so I presume to have come from the most common of people… so while I dream of castles and far away lands I have never dreamed that I lived in one or rescued a damsel in distress… my thoughts are more toward the forest… of being nestled in her and finding solace in among the branches and brambles… I was home among the wood… the leaves… the canopy of outstretched arms… in that respect perhaps I was a person who could take care of himself with bow and knife… butt other than that… the tree seems to dominate my dreams… a soft brook… a water fall and a lake…

One should not take too much from what I write… perspective has a lot to do with what is written down… it is very difficult to grasp the entire whole when one has only a small peace… when I am in the writing mode I am not paying a lot of attention to exactly what is flowing out… I have learned to be careful when I write specifically to a person… in that respect I tend to be cautious and read and reread over and under what I am writing so that I hone the message a bit better… when I write just to release what is inside and posted it where ever I post it… well those words are not honed in any way… they are free formed… they are free… open… to whom ever wishes to come by and reap some thing from them… they are the open air art created in conversation…

Connections are tricky things… as human beings we require them to live our lives… yet we feel at times haunted by them… or restricted by them… we create a mural on the wall of our imagination of what it is suppose to be like and when we walk into the dream it always is different than the illusion we created… what is important to remember is that it is better than yesterday and will be better tomorrow… words are the means by witch we communicate… sounds… touch… the expressions of our face all speak… body language is so important in a relationship… how we hold ourselves with confidence… the steps to our dance connect us one to the other… there are some we can keep and others we leave… it is not easy to balance all aspects of life at times… it takes persistence and calm in body and mind to erect the proper separations to allow us to be in two places at the same time… and we need to be aware of what sides are appropriate and witch ones are not so… we connect at primal levels and at cursory ones… some go to the heart and soul of our being and others rub along the surface structure and never get beneath it…

Love like all things grows from the physical to the emotional to the spiritual… you can’t have one without the other… all aspects of love exist in all of us… at all times… the choice is what we choose to act upon… in the beginning with all relationships it is about the physical need… the dynamic physical requirement that is ignited… butt soon that wanes if we ignore the emotional needs that each has… the many nights wondering what it would be like to be wrapped in another’s arms… to fall asleep being held… to wake up wrapped tightly… the sex… the need for it… remains a constant variable… at times the need far exceeds the capacity… at others the emotional demands far exceed the physical ones… love grows in each of these places… it is the over standing that one can speak from their heart in the most vulnerable of places… being naked is just a metaphor… though in some cases it is the physical actual state… butt that is only the body… naked emotionally is a step above that… a question… in this state is answered with sound… with touch… the need is over stood by sharing the moment… the soul knows what the other soul needs… wants and desires… some relationships never exist beyond the physical touch… they are strong… powerful and passionate to the point of burning themselves out… others progress into the emotional level… where the majority exist for years… a shared level of the experience of life… a wonderful plateau where one can rest assured upon the other… the last level is a little more elusive for most of us… a state of deep spiritual love… an ability to love with your soul… not just your heart… butt also your soul… this is the love of saints… this is the love we long for in our lives but rarely find… we sense it around us for we all have the capacity to love at such depths… spiritual love exists inside a space one inch wide but it’s depth is unlimited… it simply put is an unlimited ability to love without expectation… without requirement or demand… at times we experience it… but it is fleeting in most of our lives…

Freedom tastes like reality is how the song put it… we are free of the past is another way of saying it… we are free of the illusions and ready to embrace the reality of our new life… we are free to dance with whom we desire and love whom we wish to… we are free to dance the dance and sing the songs and play the fiddle loudly… we are beyond the reaches of the old darkness that haunted us… time to open the door and let a breath of fresh air inside… so when the tide rise ride the wave and see where the water leaves you… I am abreast of the tide and singing slowly beneath the rapids… what is meant is to explore the possibilities… things are better today than they were yesterday and tomorrow holds so much more possibility…