Time is separated into verses… small capsules of memory… each capsule of time is taken with a grain of salt and a bit of wonder… nothing is as sweet or as bitter… nothing is as near or as far… time ticks away… time whispers across the universe… and time captures us… listen closely to the intuition that stirs in the mind of one then another… we are connected genetically so we hear the same whispers… connected we wander far and near and in time we find that what cultivated us and fertilized our minds is home… that sensation stirs us… and eventually even when we are far away and a long way off we can reach out and feel the warmth beside you… when the time is ripe… pick it from the tree and enjoy every bite…

When in go out… when out go in… weave more… thread the needle more… step up more often then back… increase is a positive flux… smile for it broadens the possibilities… we sing… we dance and when the stars are out we wander in mind… all across the universe there is a light that guides the hand… be it soulful or heartfelt… a series of disjointed thoughts swirls around me and perhaps that is the best form of communication… the crows flies as the wind blows… there is time to be patient and time to fly with the coming wind… play the tune on one instrument or another… when all the voices are raised as one voice creating one sound the world turns usefully… when we raise our voices in disjointed anger the earth slows… man is inhuman to man… that is our history and our nature… what is unlike us we distain… what is like us we embrace… yet what teaches us more is that witch is unlike us… that witch we have to stop and think about… difference is a troubling state for some… so when inside move out… when out side move in… and find that moving away from the safe and secure allows more places to become safe and secure…

Miracles happen all the time… in matter of fact we are all miracles… conceived as we are by chance… our paths wander and flux you ate… the course we take stopped here and there… all miracles have their moments in the sun and then are just stories told over and over… what is the truth… do we listen and hear and believe or do we doubt because our own minds are incapable of grasping the truth in a statement… I am easy… I believe… I believe that all things are possible with a little faith…

The higher one goes the easier it is to manage… once there it becomes as if we always did… a catwalk across an open expanse… a means by witch to get close r still to the heavens… the keys fade and the expression is one of still being able to find my way… the letter still comes up… just the identification of what it is has faded from the key… well used and worn we find the steps… we find the words are friendly as they are shared more and more… in one hand they are useful tools to manage the twists and the turns… in another pair of hands they are the masterpiece of ones ability… we rise to the level of what pushes us… we gain the higher ground in toil… and when the levee breaks we are all swept away by the river… ready to ride… ready to hide in the breakers… ready to steer the tiller at the wheel… when the words become lost in the ocean we need only fish with a certain lure to find the ones that have meaning for us… the rest can be left to one side or another… often the far left is too far right… and then of course the far right is too far left… they are not objectionably opposed… hey are just different ways to the same ending… human nature being what it is… some thing for nothing pisses off one and makes another smile… me… the higher I get… the easier it is to manage…

The call comes in… the speaker takes it all on… the whispers as well as the screams… there are moments for each… we leave messages in the air… on the sand… and on the electronics of our lives… we leave them in memories… in spoken and unspoken expressions… we leave them folded in notes… wiped away as tears… as we sit and remember… or as we sit and plan… the course of time follows us and we follow time… we are in the middle in between where we once were and where we are now going… at all times we are one with our self… expressed or unexpressed… we are the blocks we have built in previous times… I leave messages all the time scribbled in the air and breathed to life… some are taken in and some are left on the side of the road to fertilize the flowers that grow there… the calls comes in and we respond as best we can… and when the last note fades into memory… make sure you are prepared to go… for when the time comes and we are packed away inside ourselves… then it is time for the roadies to pick up the instruments of our expression and take us away… a long night’s drive to some other place in time… I awake in the hall on the floor… passing the doorways one by one… and when the lights come up I stumble forward against the window pain… and though the looking glass I see the long and the short… the wide and the thin… and manage only to assess my own self in the characters that line the walls and fall from the rural scenes… the calls have come in and I answer day after day… time walks with me and I walk with time… and when time slips away… the time to be is now and nothing else really matter s…

The circle breaks… and then is picked up… a night breaks day… the day night… a single moment separates a series of moments… what is the message that we leave as opposed to the message we wished to send… the meaning is the response… the meaning of what we have presented is the response we receive from the ones we sent it to… the circle breaks and we wait for the answer on the machine or off of it… make my day… challenge me… what’s next… who are you… all manage to elicit a response… and in the stillness of the hour as we break one circle we take up another and wrap it around and send it off and see where it finds root… one single expression at a time… I imagine the expression from the words written… I imagine the threads as they are weaved across the open door… and I settle in to wandering along the open road… and I wonder where and how we are played… and do we enjoy the strumming of our strings… do we enjoy being played… or does it denote a failure some how… the sun… the moon… the words… the tunes… the melody that springs to life… some times the night is all the music one needs… and still there is that idea of the circle breaking and being sent across time to be completed at another time… in another place…

The more one plays the better they get at the game they are playing… with time and patience we get to where we wish to be… it is a good measure to think about… and when we think about it… we should… bend to the rule of thumb and roll the thread between your fingers and let it slip just enough to know it is there is all that is required… we just sit in limbo for a while… and wait for the dice to roll… wait for the moment when it is good to stretch out ones soul… there may be some resistance to the concept butt eventually ones faith leads them on… for when one ahs faith they truly can move mountains… it just depends on the faith they have… in twilight the stars shine a bit more around the edges… in the betwixt and then the between we find the corner filled with adventurers seeking the road… the word… the passage that makes the mind purposeful… of course the tide rises up to meet the ocean… that is part of the story… at the same exact moment the coast remains clear enough to see for miles and miles… I have taken a turn on the fiddle and found it is just a violin played differently then intended… to one man it is a fiddle to another it is a work of pure art… so one can fiddle about or one can play with passion and strung the strings in such a way as to inspire a reaction… so the more we ride the more chances we have of being ridden… one reacts to the other in sequences… where does the fruit go when it falls… where is the answer… the one set of words that speaks to me… he hid the word within a series of other words and when we put them all together they are just a book… what is the truth… a series of untruths or so we perhaps maybe just can’t seem to find… or are they all truths from a particular point of view… universal answers all coincide with the angle you take… from each road the truth is within… Godde takes a peace to over stand… and suddenly within the threshold all is as it should be… within is a better exploration for some answers then without… the sameness is intellectual… creative and impulsive… one seed taken and another wiped away… so what Godde gives… Godde takes away… and what is first comes last… and so it goes… when the tide rises some where it falls off some where else… there is truly only so much length and breath to things… I figure I started out looking for a reason and finding none I looked further along this edge and found a life style that suits me… to live is to love… to love universally all that walk this way or that for that matter or not… all men are creators they just miss the point… the truth is what we already know of it… we carry the weight of our pasts in our mind’s eye from one generation to the next… we learn what we can and leave the rest for those who come after us… or so it goes… and if I live to a biblical old age perhaps I can sail the uncommon seas and fish for birds that swim and watch for fish that fly… who am I to refuse me… so it goes that I will never succeed beyond the limit of my success that is today… and month after month we lose a little more ground… eventually some thing will fall apart… and the ashes will lay bear the soul of the entity that burns brightest… all along the towers that fly… imagine the sensation… imagine the fire… imagine the burns that scorch the earth…

If you wandered by looking for a pilgrimage… sorry that door is closed… this is a spiritual ride… butt a very physical one… for in my mind they go hand in hand… one does not separate out the spirit from the body or mind… they fit together and together they are who we are… silly me… who would have thought it possible to grasp a simple concept and [put all the foundation bricks perfectly in place in an instant… the word is buried her amongst the ruins… what you get from the passages is simple it is what you put in…

A constant exists in philosophy… a constant exists in all forms of science and thought… a constant exists in the universal entity that is life… be it of the smallest or of the largest… change is that constant… the other constant is the ability to adapt… in some ways the smallest of the small is adept at doing so then the ones with the most ability to think… thought while available to all is universally believed to be the main difference between the human element and all the other creatures that inhabit the earth… we think therefore we are… butt in many ways we are inferior to the creatures that surround us… while we are capable of great things because we can… we have not as yet managed to find the means to act as we should… so the constant in science and philosophy of change stills in comparison to the diversity and prejudice that hinders true progress… we think that in striving to be more we are actually being more… to be more we must do… the act of doing is what makes more possible… we can think about more and process more and yet is that truly more… exponentially it is possible to create possibilities… yet we can only utilize a few at any one time… the purpose of creating so many is to give each of us unlimited choice… the more choice the more potential energy we have to draw upon… yet for some choice is that evil environment that stifles the wonder of exploration… having to choose makes the process difficult so there are those who wish to have the choice made for them… when what we should be doing is creating the wonder of what choice is… we step in and decide for another… ultimately we all have to learn how to make our own way… make our own decisions… change is a constant in our lives and we have grown accustomed to others choosing our way… be in parents… teachers… religious leaders or politicians… at some place and point in time we have to pull the responsibility back and say this is mine to do… mine to accept… what we want from those that govern is simple the freedom to make our own choices and see where they lead us… in society our only wish should be for a level playing field where all are invited to succeed… change being as it is we will have to adapt to the field as time goes on or be pushed aside by the next person to come along… in time prejudices of nationality… religion and politics will take a back seat to the wonder of exploration of what is possible given an open and free environment to succeed… success is what drives the engines of mind… the pulse of the economy is fired by the ability of everyone to pursue success in as many directions as possible… we need constraints only so that we keep in mind that to succeed in the face of damage to the earth is self defeating… that success that leaves the air polluted and the waters undrinkable is not a success butt a loss in the greater scope of the world… an open mind is fertile ground for success… while a closed limited scope seethes with frustration and is fertile ground fro anarchy… to get some thing for nothing does not feed the desire for success it limits it… the truth is the more we work for some thing the better the taste… the more satisfying t he results… give me a level field and there will be results from places we never imagined… it is not important to be first at any cost… it is important to be first taking into account what is next… to gain success at the cost of life… of the earth we live upon is a short term success… what we desire is a long term series of successes that will enhance the possibilities…

There is possibility in religion… butt it is rare that the possibility is ever exercised beyond a single person… there is danger in too many knowing too much… or so the feeling goes… if man knew that man was in control… then the fear is that there would be anarchy… from dust man has risen… so that would mean that mankind has the ability to create… that we can mold from what we have around us a better place to be… religion has that possibility intertwined within its message… butt how often are we told that while Godde is within… we need another to lead us to that Godde… to me Godde is a universal principle of thought… Godde exists in all things especially in the human mind heart and soul… who is this Godde… who is this entity that transforms us… we are all capable of knowing in fact I believe we all know intuitively at the source of our being… seek Godde within… remember that we are in a way Godde like and therefore we have the ability to create and as such we are capable of knowing… the question is not is we are capable or not… the question is are we willing to take on the challenge of knowing more… there is possibility in religion butt not in the rituals and the structure… they are just processes nothing more nor less… they are ways to remind us of the past from where we have risen from… they attach us the word in parabolic curves… what is written is a message for the individual to figure out… and to live… that is where religion has possibility… in the individual life… not in the structure of lives plural… butt in the structure of life singular… what I believe is what I have managed to extract from the words I have read and seen unfold in my life… from the experiences I have had… who is this Godde… he or she takes on as many forms as there are people in the world… each has Godde within them… so in a sense Godde is us and we are Godde… perhaps we should act a bit more along those lines and less along the lines that say listen to me and do what I do… perhaps we should listen more and find the common thread in the words each has been born unto…

The problem with metaphors or parables is that they are left to be interpreted… and each then brings their enlightened mind to the river to drink… and we leave with an impression of what we believe the words to mean… so perhaps as we discuss the words we find a common thread in amongst all the threads that have been sown by all those who have read the words… the question I often ask is does it matter… does it matter if the word says a day… and that day is as long as a year… or as far reaching as the explosion of sound and matter to create a universe… does it matter… to some the expression day is a fact being that it is measured by a cycle of light and darkness that is a precise measure of 24 hours… to another mind a day is measure by a cycle of some sorts… is the absence of light and darkness… in the absence of time itself… how does one measure a day as we know it…

To test… to stake stock of… to know ones ability… to have knowledge of… to test… is to give one the presence or awareness of what is known and what then needs to be taken care of… we can take the time to stroll along the avenue and find out what we know… a simple test then allows us to know how much we are aware of and can bring to mind when necessary… not all tests are simple matters… butt for the most part everything we do is a test of what we know… and how we are able to use it… knowledge is only good when we can bring it to bear when necessary… knowing some thing in a practical sense far exceeds a knowledge in a theoretical sense… in a perfect world they are equal… butt this world is far from perfect… so a useful knowledge of a principle is what we are seeking… so when we test we test for the useful ability to recall what is important… with a conscious ideal of what the theoretical goal is we can then move forward using the knowledge we have…

I have been influenced by the experiences I have had… and the ones I have been witness to… and the ones I believed I have had… and the ones I have imagined having… I have been influenced by the light or day and the darkness of night… I have been taken in by the steps to the castle and the steps into the water that surrounds the castle walls… I have fallen from the precipice to land softly on my fee t… I have tripped over a pebble and landed so harshly that I could not move for the ouch… I have done wrong and done right and been left and been right and followed my dreams and found know one and followed reality and found the heaven’s gate open… so what is real and what is the Memorex tape of my trip… there are moment when I can’t remember the passing of time as clearly as I wished I could… my credit with my own sanity is dwindling… and sooner or later the check will be in the mail for me… at the current increase of disproportionate sizes I will never make the hurtle that I sought… such is the way for most of us in life… we only get what we can get… the rest have to stir the waters they have… I am left to the side this year… the cost is not conducive to my finances… and that is as they say that… and we will have to wait for another time… another place… the single most influential person is not who we put the tag to… it is the one that has changed us so that we act in a specific way… and that maybe some one we least expect… so when one thing breaks from over use… we replace it with another… and so on… the same is true of a lot in our society… when it breaks we find another to replace it with… easier to do that then to repair what is damaged… we like to throw out and bring in brand new it satisfies a certain sense we have… that complete change is often the best course of action… my experience in life is different… butt then that is me and I am he and we are we and we are all together who we are and nothing more nor less…

Take the time to do what is necessary… enough is just enough and too much is one step over just enough… remember in balance there is time for all things… time for you… time for them… and time to get done what is required to get done… so when we once more get into it… here we go again is heard… and that is both a good indication that we have been down this road before and a bad one that perhaps we have not found a way around the confrontations… as time goes on we go on and on and find the influences of others bearing their mind upon us… often we are the person we are because we are… it is chemical and physical and at the core some thing magical…

We become the people we are by the roads of our own choosing we become the travelers of our own highways… some hearts find the way easier then others… some find the paths more difficult to follow and more of a challenge to explore beyond the reach of their hand… others find the confinement of their own minds limiting… I myself… me… find the world a very tight squeeze… that at times I feel confined by the presence and in another alone amidst the crowd… I am lost and found… at peace and wondering about the least little thing worried that it may be the end of another beginning… just when the tide turns the least find the most and become rich beyond the reaches of avarice… and so the dreams are lost and found… so when Sunday morning comes down after a Saturday night left out to fight… the manic Monday looms on the horizon… and we find peace in the bedlam and settle in to the crazy aspirations of the mind over the matters at hand… I listen to the bells tolling the shadows away and seek another bite of some thing… more is what punishes me… more is an addiction as any other addiction… I am consumed by the sounds of the music of the night and awaken drenched in sweat… the illness of the mind taking its toll… and the bells hang low in my mind a whisper of what is before and after… and suddenly the birds chirp and the music stills and the orchestra strikes up the band on the bright side of the road an d we march along the edge toward some where other then hear and I wonder just where does this meandering cycle go…

I am seeking some thing esoteric… that some thing that others can provide butt often fail to realize… I am seeking the means by witch to find my way through the door… I am a conduit from one place to another… a means to an end… a series of electrical connections… a flash of light in the far distance indicates the joining of one with another… that spark is what I seek… for in the blackness of depth a tiny spark is a roaring fire… what I seek is that fire witch passion generates…

When you have nothing anything is helpful… when you have the emptiness of the hand then whatever you can stir up is some thing… having lived with little or at times very close to nothing at all… I have done an injustice by granting more to those who are around me… having come from the limited I have granted more and the outcome is that they are complacent with what they have and not interested in moving beyond what they have… their lives will be difficult because they lack the spark that pushes them further… perhaps that is what I lack also… a certain drive to do more…

The edging toward Winter’s sleep is what brings to mind the things we fail to speak… spring opens the mind to potential… summer to its warm and encouraging sense of wonder… fall to the beauty in the final exclamation… winter being the time to sleep in blissful reminders… we say what we say… some times it takes a lot of words to get to the words we need to say… I know for me it is that way… partially it is my heritage… an Irishman never says anything in a word or two… there is just so many other words we can use… so while others are some what tight lipped and quiet… that is not my usual state of mind… or my usual bend… so speaking a lot tends to lower my defenses a little peace at a time… it is only when I am at peace can I speak what is inside my mind heart and soul… and for me that takes a great deal of time… a lot of words have to pass under the bridge… a lot of time has to be spent in the exchange… and my definition of love is unique… or at least unique when I hold it up to others… possession is not a requirement for me… getting some thing from another is not part of the equation… and that hurts some as I have been witness to… often I am asked what I desire… and I say that nothing is required and that appears to hurt the other in some way… I do care deeply and love as I can… butt I am not in a position to ask anything of another… … I feel what I feel and I share what I feel… or at least I do with some… I have become quite careful of late… I used to be open and honest with everyone… it is not the way others deal with easily… I simply can’t be what others wish of me… so I am careful now with whom I share… the world does change… and with it we do… and as we experience the changes we get our mojo going in some capacity or another… and when the castle walls get too high I defer to the water and in spite of me I wonder…

The seasons change… time moves on… I find the fall a most enjoyable season between the changing leaves and the cool crisp air… and just the hint of winter… it is a perfect combination… while all the seasons have their place in the cycle of each year… fall and spring for me possess all the best qualities… summer and winter tend to get too much to one side or the other… so for me the changes that are rolling toward us are enjoyable and much anticipated…

When pressed I am more a turtle then a hare… I prefer the slow and steady climb to the race up the hill… I will take the meandering off road to the super highway any time I can… perhaps that is my way of seizing the moment… a stroll is much more enjoyable to me then a car ride… a walk to a run… the turtle in me wishes to be left alone and yet I am on the road moving as I do toward what is there on the horizon…

The practical answer is that we want happiness and to be content with the choices others make… we truly do wish them to be happy with the choices they are making… the thing is we also know from our own experiences in life that once on a path it is some what difficult to step off of it… happy or knot… people exist… and after a time they begin to settle into that existence… the routines of life take over… and suddenly we are many years from where we began and wondering just how we got here to begin with… experiences speaks to us of misguided knowledge… of the loss of perspective… the naïve notion of what love is… happiness… contentment… in so many ways I wish I could step back in time and relive a moment or two… I thought I knew so much back then… I thought I was aware… in tune… focused… in reality I was lost unaware and out of sync with myself and the world around me… from that I have managed to find my way… and I know those I care about will also… and I know they have to manage it themselves… that is life… that is the pattern that we all have to take upon our shoulders… we can lay out the road before some one… point them in the right direction… butt until they step up and out… true progress will not be made…

Our entire life is written in sand… written on paper… on disposable time worn objects… very few effect the world… and that is actually a good thing… most of us live our lives creating our sense of wonder one with another… and yes there is that one on one dimension that we put our heart and soul into… life is all about love… it is about a deep spiritual devotion to oneself… to live is to love… the two are impossible to separate… we can have indifferent relationships… they can provide us with adventure and physical wonders… they tend to flame fast… burn hot and fade… youth believes love is about having… only though experience do we find that love is not about that at all… it is about sharing the adventure… love is about living each day to the fullest potential we can manage… our life is written in sand… so that we learn to erase and move on… take the risk… if it explodes wonderfully etch the wonder in memory… it if blows up in your face… let the next wave take the writings in the sand away… etch what is important… allow the rest to be erased by the rising tide…

Every road takes a turn here or there… every step a cascading waterfall of possibilities… so every one has the potential for a greater stroke of genius as long as they continue to move… it is said that we all get fifteen minutes of fame some time in our lives… perhaps I have had mine already… I have had my moment in the spot light and I will live and pass on in the greater light of the shadows that cover most if not all butt a small percentage… I am not worried about that sort of turn… in fact being out of the light… being unnoticed is a better place for me… so while others seek the light as definition of who they are… I seek the shadows… the fringe or the element of the mass to be absorbed within that fold is to me to be part of life… part of the entire folding over… every single step on the road has for me the possibility of becoming another path… another turn toward some thing magical I never considered until that moment in time… that is the figment part of me… the part that dreams of being some thing more…

I fail to exist… or should I say I fail to exist in the manner in witch I am seen by others… much like anyone else what is perceived of me is false… impressions that are culled from the roads I have traveled… anyone who believes they know me from the fabric of what is here is missing the tangible parts that exist else where… one does not exist without the other except as a figment of the imagination… and that I am very good at being… an illusion suits me… has in all ways suited me… the idea that in art one has to be tangible never impressed me in the way it has others… art is for what frees your mind and stretches your imagination to its borders and then pushes you over the edge… being tangible in that regard is not some thing that I found to be expressive as being intangible… in being what I am not normally I have success in going beyond what I would normally do… I can dream… generate thought and imagine beyond my wildest reality as a figment… while those wonders are not available to me in reality they are so readily my set of tools in the world of my imagination… so who am I… what am I… anything that the imagination wishes to create from what is here in the now… and from all the times before now… and all the times after now that one brings to mind a peace of a thought shared… I exist as an illusion mostly… and that allows me a great deal of freedom… where should ones mind go… where should we wander… any where of course you have a mind to wander off to… mostly I find that time stands with me when ever I go off to find my place in the wonder of today… I am not bound by any rules other then the ones that I find hold me in the best light… the rest are a means by witch others wish to judge me… and be wonder of worthless it is all a matter of perspective… as an artist I enjoy opening the door and letting in the minds… what they say and what I20hear,,, and what is… is what is… the scope is mine in mirror image only… the rest is just a snap shot of the illusion… as far as the eye can see… fro miles and miles around… the forest green of the ocean waters blue… the darkest night of black or the brightest day of light… what we see is what we are looking for and expecting to find… only when we open our hearts do we find the truth…

When we sit and compose do we do so for fame and fortune… did we set out on the road to make this the journey of our profession… some do… some find that this is the art and the livelihood… this is the main highway of their soul… the art becomes the means by witch they enjoy life to the fullest and it provides the financial stream that opens other doors and other possibilities… it has never been my goal to publish or to pose that idea to anyone other then my imagination… and while I can imagine myself on that road it is not this same road… I wonder… is often how it all begins for me… yet work is work and art is art for me… distinct and separated by this thin fiber of a refuge that allows me to believe that for these instants I am free enough to express what I wish… dawn to dusk… light to darkness… from the slow opening of dawn to the dance of the midnight hours… I am a composition of delight that flows in endless ripples across endless pools and ponds and lakes and streams that I touch with my mind… I am lost and found… shallow and reflective to my depths of being… yet I share fear and joy… happiness and the sadness of life one on one day to day… with words as the vehicle of my art… it has become for me the outlet that removes the walls and opens the doors… yet I still wonder if I am perhaps the right person… I am often the wrong person at the wrong time in the wrong place so how is that different from being the right person… a degree or two of shift and perhaps the wrong becomes a right… or does it require more… one is lost until they find themselves… one is who they are until they choose to be some one else… at that moment they change within the light of what they know and begin to dance a different slow dance and step away from the one partner to embrace another who can dance with them to a different tune… is that right… perhaps right or wrong is incorrect… perhaps the best course of action is to say that the tide is a ripple and when the ripple blows… we have only the push beyond witch we can move… the closer we are to the center the higher the waves…

What is possible in the light of what we know… anything… everything… nothing at all… the bells chime in sequence to the music that one ahs within the confines of their being… who am I to engage the prospects… a singular sensation that ends… begins… is a constant stream an endless pool… a slow drip or a raging storm… we are all and the same… torrents of possibility if we choose to embrace the folds… or we are passive… and sit by the side of the road and watch others move along… each has taken their time off from living to pursue self awareness or to soothe the hurt of love… the anger of loss… the passion for success stilled… each has let go of the reality for a time to reflect of where we are and where we are going towards and away from and come away… walked away… strolled away from the wide eyed laughing curves with endless vision… and a some what enlarged view… what is possible we know… what is beyond us we dream about and hope that one day perhaps this day we will find the thread that leaps us over the wall and into a new ideal..

The art is in the smooth transfer… there is not much art in ramming in or the bull rush… it does not take much to do that… strength is not how a mind is convinced of a point of view… it takes a stroke of genius to figure things out at times… butt for every stroke given one is given back… a gentle movement of time and patience until the final result is in… the art is the transfer of information from one to another… that is what it takes… in the final analysis a thing is what it is… you can call it what you wish to… crap… poop… butt it still is shit… the same is true of any other situation you are engaged within… calling it by another name does not change its structure or its purpose… it is what it is…

Once stolen it is not possible to recapture ones breathe for some time… at that moment we are vulnerable to the possibilities of falling or slipping to the will of another… in such moments we need to be wary of what our own frame of reference is in relation to the other… to fall and be captured is one thing… to fall and bounce off the floor is totally another… to stand at the precipice of time and fall backwards knowing others will capture you is a terrifying experience… even though we believe we will be captured there still is that possibility that we will be missed… so once stolen we have to sit in the midst for a time and be at the mercy of the other… we have to sit with them in the waves that capture the sands of time and wash away the names and places of others that came this way before… I am sitting here in the limbo of night time calculating the farthest reaches of possibilities and having my breathe taken away I am sitting her waiting for the next breathe to fill my lungs… open the door and let some fresh air inside… and I sit in the stillness and wonder aloud about the fabric and the solitude of solace… the ticking of the clock… the rambling of the motors… the pacing of the impatient… when all that is required is to wait it takes a great deal of fortitude to do so…

Once up on a time… a long time ago… in a dream far far away… or so it seems to be… that is the nature of growth… of growing… we dream of reaching a place where we stand as equals and find that when we do there is something different in the water… that some thing is the truth mixed with the illusion… when we dream it is all illusion… and then we put the dream into motion in our minds and suddenly we are faced with the reality of what we dreamed coming nearer in our minds to being a truth… a truth we can put our hands upon… so once up on a time becomes in another moment… and suddenly the frame tilts… the course we are on takes a sudden turn toward some thing tangible solid like a rock in the forest… a tree that has stood for a thousand years and yet it seems like yesterday wasn’t it just yesterday… and yes it was just today that the thought occurred to me and suddenly after all this time like just a second it is here and now… that is the nature of a figment… here one minute… here the next after traveling the world over and under… nothing I say makes any sense lately… perhaps it is my way of confusing the confused…

One step closer another further away… it becomes easier to knot do some thing then to do some thing… to knot do is the easier of the paths we have before us… to do requires a bit more… we try ourselves… before any one else even thinks of doing so…

What can we make of what is left… what is there to do with the little bit that we have left over from the entire amount we once had… the trials are few butt they can be some what tiresome until we put them aside for a bit… butt then some stay with us continuously… a routine we have gotten some what used to… what can we make of the things we have left at our disposal… can we use what we have or do we truly need to venture forth to find more… I some times wonder how… how we have acquired all that we have and not managed to consume them… some things are staples of a life while others are the occasional temptations… and still others are those we planned for and for one reason or another we never used… and then there are those we have because the price was easier to buy more then to buy what we required… a case of more being cheaper then less… of course in the long run… more always cost more unless it makes sense in terms of usage and timing… while we will use a lot over time… the question is how much and in what time… some things just make sense to deal with in the largest amount one can manage and others in the smallest… knowing witch one is witch is the secret…

The more we know the greater the differences become… as much as we are the same… we are different by the same degree… one step this way and two steps that… that is very apparent on this day… as much as we are like others… as much as we are as a people over standing and accepting… we are different… so different that some take it upon themselves to destroy… to cause destruction for the purpose of that difference… human beings have a great capacity for good… and a great capacity for evil that they time and time again visit upon themselves… we study history to see where we have come from… how we have managed to get this far and time and time again we run across the inability for one to rise above basic prejudices and hatred… so today I am reminded of that… today as I sit here I am reminded of all that it takes for some one to hate so deeply… that they disregard not only their life butt the lives of innocent people… such is the way of purity of thought… purity of ideas… purity of race… the evil is that once trapped within the culture of hate and prejudice there is not an easy way out… and so it goes… an eye for an eye… until one in desperation rents the fabric of the world…

Each dance has a thought associated with it… never being much of a dancer myself I will only interject what I sense in the movements… what I feel as I move on the floor… the steps being what they are take me form one side of the floor to another… a redirection of thought… a series of progressions toward some where… as the time moves on… as the song moves=2 0you from beginning to end… the movement coincide with the music… and when they fall out of line there is time to reconnect… to find ones place in among the notes… for the most part for me at least the dance is the passion shared with the music… with the moment… with the person you are with… all three things… all in perfect harmony… the party… is only a party… butt the dance is an exploration of the possibilities that passion can bring forth… we are the people we are because we can…

A bit bleak today as the sun is hidden and the rain falls slowly… the winds of change are blowing and that speaks clearly of the lowering of temperature… a bit of the cold wind and the rain today… fits well for this day… a day of memories… of remembering where you were when… a day of deep reflection and also a day of taking stock of how far we have come… amidst all the bickering and arguing over one thing or another it is a wonder we get anything accomplished…

Nothing is free… the illusion that some thing is… is a trap… the truth is some one else is paying… when some thing is free it means some one else is picking up the check… your check… and that comes in two ways… one because they are treating you to this… or giving you a gift… or you are mooching off another’s hard earned income… nothing is free… and it is especially not free if it is provided by the government… because the only way a government gets money is by taxing the governed… so whomever says that this is free is lying to you… because it is not free… it may be that some one else is paying your tab… butt it is not free… from a basic fundamental place I am against paying for another… no one should profit from me except me… that is just the way I feel… the governments task in my every day life is to stay out of it as much as possible and to make sure the playing field is as even as possible… so if another person gets the ring they get it because they made the effort got the grades and did what was necessary to get there before I did… all things being equal they were the best person for the task at hand… I can live with that… what I despise is government interference in issues of choice… make the rules… make sure we all play fairly and get out of the way… nothing is free so the less government screws with free enterprise the better it works… what they do well is over see they should stick to that…

Today has that feel that change is coming… my mind’s eye senses it in the grey clouds and drizzle that is falling outside… today is the picture of change coming on the other side of the rainbow I know is there…

Never is a time captured… never is a place we find open to the mind butt closed to the possibility… we find the ocean wide and deep and yet it is but a step in the right direction… still we are who we are when we step to the side of the side road and go the distance to the other side… as we move through the forest seeking out that one particular tree… we some times find ourselves sitting on the rock in the hardest place and wondering just how we got here at all… never could we imagine what has transpired and yet it has… just because our imagination could never find it does not mean another’s can’t…

I have for some time found solace in words… in the wiring of words… in the art of communication… the thrill is my own or perhaps I should say the thrill is in the exchange of ideas… the door is open to possibilities that can assist me in some way or another… I have found that by writing I find my way… perhaps it is not the easiest course of action or the most creative art form yet it opens my mind for other possibilities to slip inside… I am in need of an emotional rescue… this next year will be a most taxing one to the soul… some doors are closing others are opening up and the changes that are before me are significant… and I will find solace in the words I write and perhaps in the changes yet to come… I have heard the good news and it is under my hat so to speak for a time… life does go on… lately with all the weddings I am reminded that there will be a few funerals… that is just the cycle of life… the previous generation has entered into the later stages of their life times… some have weathered the distance evenly without much trouble others are slowly declining… and with each passing day we hear of another who has passed on or we hear another one on the other side=2 0is getting married… so we have the ranges of life… the setting out and the endings… it is interesting how that idea keeps forming in my logic… that for each to begin one has to end… it is like we are making space for another by our passing… the earth can only deal with so many… and after a time we will stretch the possibilities beyond our ability to sustain… I find solace in the words I write… though I am afraid it is only I who do… I write in a style that few grasp effortlessly and while I am not going to change how I let the passion out… I wish it was more universally over stood… butt then that would not be me… and Godde knows I have to be me… I tried being some one other then me and that didn’t work out so well… as a few can attest to…

Matter does matter… each form of matter matters to what we are in… this moment matters to the ones who have a stake in the outcome… there fore in all matters of matter… it matters how much and in what direction and with whom… for with one this matters and with another there is another form of matter that matters with them from their particular point of view or reference… it20does matter… especially to the matter at hand…

It certainly does matter… all things matter… some matter less then others… some more so then others… butt all factors have a place in the matter and if we deny that or refuse to acknowledge it that could be the point that changes the matter from advantage to disadvantage… in life we need to have more on our side then on the other side working against us… so with each step we take make sure you take care of what matters… what seems small in comparison to the world at large is perhaps the largest peace another can grasp hold of… nothing is too small a peace to ignore… and if you do so… you do so at your own peril…

A truly comfortable moment is one that we wish to be in and find ourselves within… the more of those we create the more comfortable we become one with another… comfort arrives in many forms… mostly for me it is that sense that words need not be explained or communication sliced into pieces… they are take n as they come for the art they are and nothing more nor less… they are art and they strike each one differently… know one need ask me what I was trying to say… my response has in all ways been… you take from the experience what you bring in with you… in other words… you get out from the experience what your past experiences has taught your senses to see hear and feel… so what you seek in the words you find… what you find takes form based on your past and what you imagine comes to life in your mind… and that is by definition a completely different picture then what is stirred in mine… it is personal and private… it is the art of the individual…

As we take each step we stop and ponder the changes… if good keep moving… if not reassess the next one… with each one that makes the next easier and more inviting our pace will increase… so be aware of the race… slow down and in joy soak in the steps that take you along this particular road toward some thing you enjoy with all your heart… it is not a race after all… as much as the world wants us to run from one task to the next… the ones who enjoy the moments most are those who know that this one is as precious as the next… so spend the proper amount of wonder in this moment before moving on to the next wonder filled one…

We are all part wonder and part curse… all things possess the potential for the Ying and the Yang… a little dark with a little light… in that way we can have our perspective and eat it too… witch is to say that each has a bite to their own frame of reference… witch can be what we wish or desire or just what the doctored ordered or a complete waste of time or knot… beauty is in the eye of the holder and the holder has one form or another… so each takes what they give and gives what they take and for some that is enough and for others it is not quite enough of either… we are the wonder and the curse… so it is not unusual to sigh and the swear at the very same moment in time…

Getting what one needs as opposed to what one wants or desires happens in a number of ways… our unconscious mind often translates our wants and desires into needs without us being connected to that choice… in other words we know what we need even when we want or desire some thing else… and we head for what we need in spite of the desires we have at times… of course when we are all lined up we get there faster…

One step… two steps… or three… a shovel full of dirt to bury a few… another to hide another small indiscretion… another to hide it just so… another to bury another word spoken her and there… another to cover the growing roots of the things I started and can know longer know what is real or what is the lie… another and another and another still… the hole gets deeper as the need to hide more gets larger still… until at some point it is impossible to hide and the truth filters though and in all the worry about this or that… the truth is what it is and what it is… is minor in comparison to the lies told to hide it away… so perhaps the truth is easier to speak then the lie… after all you never have to remember any of the enhancements… just the facts…

Siblings have the unique way of getting under ones skin just so… at times that give and take is a wonderful adjustment of ones attitude… at others it can be a game of can you top this… or a competition for being the best… in time… and some times it takes a lot of time… the game stops and the playing field comes to rest evenly… we all have the means to balance… some will never let go the edge they have due to life’s imbalances as they see it… the place we occupy in the family often has a lot to do with how we see things… and then how we dealt with the way life has unfolded… while one can move on… another is stuck in neutral waiting for some thing to happen… and who holds us more them family… often we unjustly blame or unjustly praise the steps another has taken … and yet in the end it is how we perceive one another that allows us to exist as we do… though I will say that at times the separation of family occurs because of the differences in witch we sense the world around us… our siblings though we love them… may not be the people we would normally surround ourselves with… I know it is true of me less now as I have gotten older… butt in my younger days we were so different in attitude and ideals that I found it difficult… as we have all aged and lived a bit we are becoming more in line… that is what life does… though I can still sense the differences they are less irritating to me…

Until then… until the next time when the time is ripe for picking the perfect sound from ones imagination and letting it explore the possibilities of exploding fully into the outside waves and ripple across the universe… the tide rushes in some what and takes away the sand only to replace it later or some where else… the same is true of us… some times we rush in and take the sand and move it some where else so we can find ourselves standing on the shores of a different shore without even knowing how… until then the tide was just a bit of water rising up… until then the tide was a means of the moon and the stars that raised and lowered the levels that one had to contend with… until then it was a way to float off into the sunset dreaming adrift with ones fantasies… and then when we opened our eyes and found ourselves to be some where other then where we had thought… then we know that the tide is not just a means to float… it is an avenue to be cast adrift upon where we may land right back where we stand… or a means by witch we find ourselves in a very different some where in time…

Silence is that wonder filled canvas to fill… silence is the golden opportunity to take out ones paints and begin anew… often the silence is the spark that I need to sharpen a pencil and begin once more… what can we do with the silence that we have not done before… take one hand and press the brush to the surface and scratch one line… then another… then another and before you know it the art of your mind has taken over the possibility and you are facing a creation of your imagination… so sit back now and wonder just how color filled that is…

What another wants is never completely known… as much as we can deduce from this or that we are still on the edge… we know as we become familiar what the want is… or perhaps we assume we know… even after all these years we can make mistakes in assuming we know… and then there are times when we assume in the opposite direction entirely… many a day I think I know… only to find out I was very off in my assumption… the road is a wondrous one… filled at times with silent communication… best knot to assume too much… best to just enjoy the ride and see where it goes…

The constant is change… the one single non-variable is change… change is occurring by our hands or by the passing of time… so of course if some thing is not to a liking there is that need or desire to change the tune or strike up the band to play another… time is a relative component… and as such plays his own notes that we have to find a rhythm to… and some times we get it… and at others we are an octave or two off… when that happens it is best to step it down a notch until we find the pace and rhythm we can move to…

One set or another… one step or another… the dance is the art form we crave… the one we can set into motion at a moments notice… if you can dance in your mind… you can dance in reality… the steps light and easy… so set the sails and dance across the water…

Words escape me some times… well they escape me a lot… in point of fact I rarely if ever think before I write… it is one of those things where I just let my fingers do the talking so to speak… not that my mind is not there in the moment… it is just sometimes I go back and read what I have written and go who exactly wrote this… it takes a lot to deal with the illusion of me… I labeled myself a figment for that fact precisely… it takes a lot to figure me out… to deal with the intensity that exists around me and the passion that is stirred… I am not doing it intentionally… it just happens that way… butt as some have already said… I don’t do anything to stop it either… so in a way it is my fault… or at least it is partially my responsibility… I can’t take all of it because I am not the other person and they are free to do as they wish… I have not done a good thing here… in the beginning with one or two who over stood me that got the complexity of what is being created here it was okay… butt after a time the words struck different chords… so while it may seem like there is not a need or a desire… there is… butt it will always remain as that… a distant present…