The answer is in the tense… what you seek resides in the language used to explain… it is as plain as the saying goes… as the nose upon ones face… if I was to listen closely to the words… they are predicated in the past… done… had… was… could… known… got… a great many perceptions are based on how we apply delight to what we know at any given time… in some ways it is a learned form of awareness… in others an ingrained process from birth… some form from the experiences we have had in our lives… others from the desire we have to rise above… magic happens when we refuse to lose… when we refuse to allow our own short sights to cloud our objective… in time we ask the right questions of ourselves… in time we learn what questions are the appropriate ones to place before our minds… what is important to you… what steps are you willing to take to be successful… to find wealth… happiness… love… what are we doing to stop ourselves… in life we learn from experience and while all of them have not been beneficial we still learn… we still gain knowledge… that knowledge may be this is what I wish to avoid… it is still knowledge… and if we apply it to ourselves we can make better and better choices for ourselves… there is a certain selfishness required in living… a certain amount of central need that speaks to caring for oneself before reaching out to care for another… until we are parents… it is our central force… survival of self… care for the being… body… mind and soul… until we satisfy that central force it is not truly possible to move beyond it… many have expressed it better butt it comes down to the fact that love of self is essential to love of another…

Dawn broke… as dawn often does… shedding light… splintering the darkness of my mind… each a shard of thought holding some potential energy close and with the filtering of time goes the gifts of time… each a happening or moment within the universe of time… all things are possible and know one thing is possible… yet they are all possible within the expanse of time… for eventually the time is reached where what we once believed to be impossible suddenly becomes seriously possible…

Things turn… they twist… wrap… fold… wander… curl… weave… thread… and perhaps seal themselves… in a few days time the journey begins… I will take to the road and wander along the coast… following a pattern I have enjoyed for a number of years… I like the thought of the ride there and the rest while I am there and the drive home after wards… long as it is… the drive calls to me… I like the adventure of the road more then the thought of a flight… I know I can get there quicker… butt speed is not my desire… the movement is… the chance to wander across time and space and see things up close… not impersonal but one to one…

The questions linger in the air… as with any thought there are slight movements for and against… the pros and the cons are what one wishes to perceive them as… in the quiet solitude of your own mind you can imagine as much as you like to… when you bring that wish or dream into the delight of the world it will by nature take on a life of its own… if you share your dream it has the potential of being altered in the eyes of those we share it with…

I believe the core of the matter is one of sharing… we make choices and those choices allow us opportunities… when it comes down to it we either choose to be open or we choose to keep elements of ourselves closed… over time we reveal aspects of our personality… our past… our dreams… aspirations to one another… in time we learn to love one another… we learn to hold… to cherish… to be part of each other’s life… how far each allows the other depends on how vulnerable one can be with the other… the moments are situational… in a time of great sorrow or joy one may be able to step in and share the most intimate of moments finding out details of the other’s life that before was unknown to them… at the same time a day later that opportunity will have passed…a certain amount of what happens is karma… fate… experience and the moments we find ourselves within… I am not capable of being any more then I am… yet at times what I am is exactly what the other needs… I believe if you are willing to share the walls come down and the souls find ways to open… when the river runs it will follow the path of least resistance to its fury or it meandering need… the water will find a way to free itself from the boundaries that hold it and find its way to the vast oceans of the world… in the same way those things we hold within us will find ways to come out… to mingle in the vast ocean of humanity… confidence in a total stranger is more often the choice people take then to sit with a soul mate and relay the intimate details of their lives… some things fall out in conversation… some find their way into stores and pictures… others need to be unburdened or pulled from the depths… each has a set of fears surrounding the telling of our histories… the more we tell them the less the fears hold us… the more that is known… the less we are able to hide… the less we are able to use as a reason for being other then the person we know ourselves to be… the river flows to it… runs around and over it… makes a case for removing it so that the gentle can replace the rapids… so the calm can replace the torrents… so the gentle hand of time can replace the anger… the fear and the aggressive need to hide… I believe… I have always believed that it is about sharing of ones past… present and future… it is about accepting who one is loving that person and moving forward with that person… it is about sharing the time… the emotions and the spiritual presence of hue… know more and know less…

To love is to live… life without love is a hallow existence… life requires devotion… it requires a love of being that is essential to the exploration of each day… a life is not a true life until it have experienced a love worthy of its existence… each of us shares that at least once in our life time… some more then once… butt each at least once… it is my hope and prayer that for those who still seek it… that they are aware of it when it knocks upon their door… it truly is better to love and lose then to never love at all… for even a small peace of love can carry a soul though a life time…

One day in among the many… each in their own way unique… a series of similarities… yet difference is there… what appears as being all the same is really a series of slight changes happening before your eyes…

We are entitled to our reactions… to expressing how we feel… best to let it out then hold it in… the world can be an enchanting place… some times it is important to let go and step back and be a witness to another’s foolishness… men are fools as you are fully aware…

Then there are women who define a relationship not in terms of tradition or norm but in how they feel within… I myself am not a traditionalist in terms of relationships… my friendships are intense and passionate… and I am a fool at times for being a fool is at times perfectly normal to me and makes the most sense in the light of the moment… there are times when being a fool is what we should do… push away the thought of tomorrow and what others will say and just dive into the moment… if we spend our lives worrying about tomorrow we never get to live the moments of today… some times we have to embrace the fools way…

If we allow the thread to weave unto itself it brings sides shapes colors to bear… the thought occurs to me that perhaps the best course is to sit back and accept that at times the thread will weave into and out of some of the places we least like… where we harbor our negative images or thoughts… I some times miss the opportunity… I find myself talking about this thread or that when I should have looked beyond the obvious distraction to the meaningful distraction of my mind… single thoughts mingle with expressed desires… perhaps that is what I am saying most often… the unexpressed desire is more evident then the expressed thought that says never mind or what are we doing here… if only there was time or less space or opportunity to close the space… butt there are only words… expressed and not… and there seems to be more not said then said… at some point I believe you must ask yourself… do I wish to be known by what I said… or by what I failed to say… each has their place… for in any life… there are times when we need to know when to speak up and when to remain in the quiet solitude of thought…

I will most probably be judged not by the volume of words I did say butt by the few that I failed to say… that is the nature of the beast I am… I am at my very nature… quiet… shy… I assume a place of solitude and oneness of mind… of being… of heart and soul… that does not lend itself to being outspoken… at least within my personality it does not… I am not a leader of anyone other then myself… I am a band of one…

The question that comes to my mind is what more do I have to say… I have spoken… written… placed out before your eyes my thoughts… expressed my feelings and opened my soul… there are still questions you have… words you will not speak… images you will not embrace… you need to ask yourself what more is required of me… what more do you need of me to say… do… write… express… and you will have your answers…

We arrive at crossroads in our life some times along similar paths… we get here from there… from our past… and one day we wake up and we feel different… we feel a need or a desire that we had before butt now it is central to our being while perhaps yesterday it was not… so we have to make a choice to put aside what we have to go after what we dream about… or to hold onto what we have and be satisfied with the limits that it places upon us… each choice we make allows us to embrace another aspect of our lives in some way… we arrive at these crossings some times weary of the road we have chosen to take… or that life has forced upon us… we come out of a time of learning some thing new and different and are instantly faced with the challenge of using that new skill… we are prepared only to begin… yet beginnings allow us opportunities to prove to ourselves that we are ready to be part of the world in witch we live… the need feeds the desire and passion we have to move forward…

The road bends… it turns upon itself… we find ourselves twisted in thought… not from outside influences butt from within ourselves…

We manage the path we are on… we find ways to succeed in spite of what life tosses our way… we make choices and some times even the best choice does not work out… we see it as a mistake… over time we may see it as some thing different for the benefits we gained… but at any one moment we may have seen it as a choice we perhaps should have made differently… the beauty of knowing… is that we can avoid doing it again… we can manage to walk a path close to butt not on the previous one… so we garner the wonders… the joys… the pleasures… but we step away from the hurt… we simply know more now then we once did… A lot of life is chance… we take a chance and some times it works out and others it does not… one never knows the other until they are behind the façade we all wear… one of my favorite thoughts is the one that says you don’t know another until you have spent a year living with them… and that is probably true… over time we all change… we adapt to the small nuances of the other… butt the major things we either accept or we confront… and that is what makes the difference… some we can live with… others we can jot… and when we reach the place of know more… it truly is know more… and time to move on…

Only those we allow to can hurt us… those we shut off and ignore can never get close enough to us for their words to touch us…

Perfection does not exist… it may appear as being perfect or at least for a moment in time a thought or a phrases can capture the essence of a moment… butt that is about all the perfection I can manage to agree with… we can be perfect for one another… or be in the perfect place at the perfect time… we can manage to say the perfect word or hold another at the perfect moment… butt those are fleeting moments… they are not in all ways the perfect answer to the questions… or the perfect solution to a problem… perfection is a series of occurrences… one built upon the next… to perform at such an intense level is impossible for an human being… all we can hope for is to achieve a peace of perfection in any given moment in time…

A trap exists in any structure… for structure is there to deal with the many and weed out the few… how the many are defined is multifold… structures looks to categories each into a specific term or place… the tops percentages… the middle ones and the bottom… structure seeks to place labels and then apply standard responses to what those labels are… some times the trap is one of indulgence or wider variables of constraint… at others it is methods and theory… at others it is financial or special circumstances… butt it is categorical how these remedies are applied… for they look upon the categories as either a problem or an asset… most fall into the problem category… a few are assets… butt it is that view or mind set that causes the reaction… speed is not the answer… nor is speed a problem… the mind is faster then you think… often times with individuals it is not a speed issue… as much as a focus one… often times it is the speed at witch their minds focus and move on that brings about a reaction… then it is about grasping… one can grasp any concept one held in focus… butt if the mind never learned to slow down in time with time as to focus on the matter at hand then at times the hectic nature of learning becomes confused in the rambling process of anything and everything else… so what else is new… nothing at all… really the question is what trap is this… what place in the path we are on that wishes to ensnare and hold… that desires to place us in a category that perhaps we are… perhaps not in all ways… perhaps it is just me butt I see things a potential wonders… as potential opportunities to learn not only how to butt better ways to instruct… better ways to encourage and better ways to step up and realize that it is not only one butt many that are required to make a difference… a trap exist in the structure because the system feeds on labels for each and without a label to define you… well we have to force one upon you… I was… once labeled in with the ones who had no respect for authority… I still think that is a worth while label to wear… I was once labeled as being good with numbers and terrible with words… butt that was another me… I threw that label away… I was once labeled as being a smart ass… I sort of like that… so you see it does depend on who does the labeling and how we react to it… being labeled to me has its purpose… it is so we can erase the image they have of what that label is… and some times to embrace the label as a badge of honor… questions everything… never satisfied with the standard line… curious… are some worthy labels to carry…a trap exists in this structure of education and learning… and those who stand outside its curves are well some times better off…

At each turn in the road we find small reminders of what a person can be… often it is said that to know what a person will be like in the future look to their parents… for some of us that thought is terrifying… to others it is a warm reminder that there is hope… while we differ in views,,, and perhaps in more things… there is hope that people will change and be able to accept and move on… some can… some will struggle for a time… and others will fight it with the last gasp of their breath… but we as parents have hope… hope that ours will manage to avoid being like us in some ways and make less mistakes/// hope that they will find their way easier… that they will be productive and find love and happiness in this world… butt we are also realists… for life teaches us that no matter how well we prepare them… they have to make choice on their own and some of them will not be for the best… people can change and they can rise above who they once were… but we have to realize also that parents have more experience in life… then children… and some do learn to let go… and be within the circle of a family… while others will cling on tightly and lose it all… one of my favorite thoughts is that love is about setting some one free to be the soul they are destined… it is a selfish image of love that says you are mine for all time… for the tighter we hold on the harder it is to keep some one from slipping away… while the more we relax our grip… the more we open our hearts to encourage each other to be the soul we are destined to be the more love we create… I realize my thought here is unique… perhaps rather simplistic… but there is hope in what I think… and perhaps that is all there needs to be…

We are products of our experiences in life… one can live the life of a slave and smile… or one can live that life filled with hatred and remorse… life becomes about the choices we make… not choices concerning physical things… butt choices concerning attitude… happiness… love… our experiences can line up to be similar and one will come out feeling one way and another some thing different… the difference is how one chose to deal with the experiences they have experienced… your life is to some worthy of the memories you have and to another perhaps worthy of only a lesson… butt to you… what is your life history worthy of… this is a difficult question… one that pushes and pulls at the very fabric of who we are… we are balanced… the previous experiences equals our attitude… personality and actions… knot all react the same… some answer anger with love… some answer hatred with compassion… some find ways to resist answer like with like… we need knot be angry… sad lonely or hurt… they are choices we have made because that is what we have been taught by our experiences to be… yet if we choose to be different we can be happy, surrounded by love and feel trapped with an embrace of each day… we can choose to see the dark cloud… or the silver lining… we can choose to be the experience of our life or to be more then that… we know more when we decide to be more… and we are capable of more then we imagine…

The day explodes in color… light brings forth the pastels… the shimmer glow of dawn… the brilliance of full day and the rainbow of evening colors that stretch out to touch… and as night falls we are treated to the ever changing colors of the moon… the stars and the clear sky decorated for a winter’s eve…

Change startles us… true change though is the ability to accept another’s choice… even when we miss an opportunity… we need to be able to change… and then accept that others are not going to step back into another time with us… what we can do is move forward and hope that the changes we continue to make will bring the paths closer… one change does not a series of mistakes cure… nor does one leap… it takes time and a series of changes to reach a place where we once more trust enough to say in this circumstance we will allow a trial… and before that we need to accept that the other may not be willing to allow such a trial… only time heals the wounds and only time is the judge of whether or not true change has occurred…

Parents hold hope in their hearts for their children… even the worst human who ever exists had a mother who loved them… that is the nature of being a parent… we will love no matter what and some times that love makes us over look the obvious flaws… a parent will do anything for their child… and some times that is not what is best… some times we as parents have to make them face themselves… so they can change and be better people… it is difficult to watch… for we love to let go… to set free to encourage growth beyond who we are and all the time we hold on… hoping that they find their way in this complicated world and some times as parents it is hard to just step back and not get involved… but some times that is exactly what must be done…

Tranquil… pleasant… quiet… refreshing… a measure of the length and breath… calm… an island unto itself… peace is… we seek it externally butt it is an internal state… peace exist within us… though we are influenced by the external world around us… the more calm and relaxed that world is the easier it is to access the peaceful state within… relaxed comfortable states of mind are much easier to fall into when one is removed from the stress and the strain of work… home… the daily routines… stepping outside the lines allows us to grasp the thin thread and fall into a mode of peace… to let tranquility settle into our minds and fall toward a pattern of dreams… swept on the winds… curled up in a blanket of desires… it is some thing we want… need… can have and do for ourselves… the cost is not the measure by witch we should judge… it is in the result of our journey… if we learn anything of change it should be how best to wrap it about us and use it at home… in the office and during the daily routines of everyday… so that when we seek peace of mind it surrounds us in every corner of our existence… like waves along the beach… feet curled in sand… smiles and laughter echoing in the mind’s eye… when we step over the thin line from the daily travels to the travels of pleasure… we should re ember to bring back some of the wonder of the pleasure into the daily journeys of our days… nights… weekends and mornings as we arise and embrace the day as it unfolds its magic upon our beings…

Let it be… let the day unfold… be a witness to the unfolding of the flowers… the light dance of the rain… the swirling movements of the clouds… the presence of the wind on your face… the warmth of the sun… the sounds of life as they ripple about you… be a part of the entity that is life… stir the folds within to embrace… and let go of old… give in to what interests your mind… release the need that ties you… binds you to one place… give yourself the freedom to roam within your wishes… within your dreams… explore the endless possibilities that stretch far an wide of this one need or want… let it be… let it go free and see with your heart…

We seek aid in all aspects… we seek it in the care we extend to others for in reaching another we reach within ourselves… we seek answers in the comfort of another’s pain… for when we find the time to be with them we have time to be with ourselves… we seek comfort in the trails of another… for in sharing our comfort we gain insight to their trials and their journey… we seek in others what we believe we lack within ourselves… the truth is we neither lack those skills nor fail to use them… we possess all that is necessary… so when we seek love… it is because we feel its presence in our life… when we seek comfort it is because we feel the warmth of it upon our being… when we seek freedom it is because we are free ourselves… in sharing we find that peace is well within our ability… our control… we seek aid in what we do… others to walk with us… companions on our way because each makes the journey some what easier by sharing the moments… time moves us faster when we are capable of embracing another… and we are all capable of embracing another… the question is are we willing to risk all that we have for that embrace… life has burdened us with thoughts and false beliefs… perhaps it is time to let go of some of them so that the real ones worth keeping can be grasped…we seek aid in what we do… comfort along the way… medicine for our bodies… comfort for our minds… and most of all peace for our soul… we seek this aid in each one we come into contact with… a shared space… some moments and perhaps a trip in the world of imagination… all of the realities of life stand in the stillness of time and swirl within the realm of our peace of mind…

Let it be… let the sun set… the moon rise… the night fall… the darkness embrace you… let the dawn come… the light creep over you and the day explode in color… let the time tick away… the thought of need pass and just breathe in the wonder of life…

Breathe deep… gather the air into your lungs and let the oxygen fill you… let the exchange of old for new begin… push out the old… used air and replace it with new fresh clean air filled with more oxygen… follow the path way of the oxygen into the blood and around your being… from head to toe… and imagine a drop of ecstasy… being breathed in and following the same pathway… filling every part of you with good pure wonder… let it be so… that with each breathe you take… you pull in ecstasy… and with each breathe you exhale you remove old… tired… thoughts and burdens… let it be that when you look upon the words you see happiness… comfort… compassion… let it be that with each breathe you find yourself feeling more and more aware of the potential of hue…