The truth is often a mirage before our eyes… often what we mistake for reality is an illusion… some thing we believe to be true that is only true because we believe it to be so… the truth as the mirage… the elusive water in the middle of the desert… a long walk away that keeps walking away… in the chill of the night almost frozen to the core… till the heat of the day roasting in the heat of time… what is the true reality and what is the illusion of that reality… both and neither it can be assumed… both and either or butt never the same as the ones we find ourselves using… we can be our worst enemy or our best asset… it is all in how we perceive ourselves in the delight of what we now know… modesty aside… confidence is our best attribute… we can do more… we should do more… and we will in time do all the more… the choice to not speak is a choice… the mind wandering along the avenues of space and time slips effortlessly into the groove honed of years worth of steps… decades of refined tolerance… soon the bells toll for it is our time to step forward and our time to sing… we have in all ways benefited from the kindness of the stranger… I am out of touch with my own reality and yet I can sense another’s easily… perhaps that is a gift… being crazy aside… being out of touch is a gift… for it allows me to be over looked in the light of day… captured in the hours of shadow and passed by on the street as being insignificant… the truth is a mirage… it appears as a dream over the horizon and with wisps of fine air floats… drifts… casts off the worry… and reveals itself…

The world is a series of barriers… each a singular challenge… each a step to knowing more and gaining confidence to dance to the music of your own drummer…

I never keep track of anything or anyone for a long period of time… thoughts weave in and out… as they do I allow them to find their own place… so what starts as one thing out of necessity may wander in two or three directions all at once and if I did keep track of where I was going and what I was doing or if I have a purpose to what I write then perhaps I would be a better writer… perhaps others would find what I write more interesting then they do… butt still it is not what I set out to do… the freedom of mind… expression allows me to start to say one thing and then wander past that onto some thing more illogical… to all except perhaps my own mind that is in some ways rambling on… within that though is the potential that perhaps by not worrying so much about what one is saying that we truly do say what is needed to be said… that it becomes more of a soothing exchange of ideas in a deep reflective moment… then perhaps that is what it is suppose to be… just a moment to breathe… to step back away from all the action and reaction… filled with consequences and demands on our time to just sip and soak it all in…

A groove is very much a fine honed routine… a zone where we are most effective in our sue of time… mind… body and art… stepping into the zone has its wonder and beauty… the knock of the door… the edging toward the end of the line… the shot perfectly placed… the catch made… it is being on top of ones game… what ever that game is… life at times is a groove thing… and one loves to be in the groove…

A step is taken… a question asked… a philosophy explained… but can we truly say what is in our hearts… probably knot in words… for words lack complete definition… they lack substance at times that a single act can bring to light… at a point some where in time we know… we begin to know the paradoxes that life holds over us… yet words only go so far to bring out the thoughts that transpire within our minds… we take steps… we write… we paint… we engage our minds in active positive thought and still we fall short of achieving the definition we seek… life is that complex at times and some times that simplistic… we take steps and ask questions and still we are left out of the knowledge base for some thing does not fit within our model of the world as neatly as it fits into another…

Some days the groove is a well honed barometer for success at others it allows for the drifting off into the great wide open on an endless wave that carries the mind further and further from the security of home out onto the edges of ones imagination… only to bring hue back… engaged in thought and transfixed to the ideal that anything is possible in such a deep dream…

One success is the stepping stone for more… embrace it…

The winds change… it is a consequence of the season… one of many that we deal with as we go through our day… each step has its reaction… each reaction stirs another action… that is life in a physical sense… the physics of reality… action… reaction… size shape… dimensions… proportions… the action of theory… the reaction of the unfolding of theory in reality… the coming together of diverse forces… the art of the compromise… that is what is necessary… I have found that compromise is not an art that comes easily… the steps are not soft on ones ego… the way of flexibility is not without its influences to our more jaded sides… if one talks of education or of politics or religion… sexual orientation or any subject at all their our diverse opinions on the paths to follow… bigger is not always better… size does matter in some situations… politics aside… actions and reactions need to be watched for the reality… not just for the show… and politics is all show and very little substance… that is what drives most choices in life… the politics of it… where does this step lead me… where will I come out of this… or my family… what will I profit from the steps I am taking… each step an action followed by the reaction and the consequences some thought of before… others never imagined… bigger to some consolidates the over head so that in theory there is much to save and little to lose in the bringing together… in theory what it does is eliminate the potential for maximum participation… a number of small groups each participates in the social reaction… consolidate that into one large group and who do they interact with… bigger is better on paper… more economical… but less inviting to the social network…

The wind blows… a constant force prevails across time and space… movement… destiny… we are challenged each day as dawn spies over the horizon to define the day previous and come to terms with our direction for this day… how is yesterday defined in your mind… just another day in the pile of dazes or one that stands out… so many are in the one pile and so few in the other… yet we cherish the smaller of the two… for they are the unique… the ones that our minds sort out of the many… the select few… as dawn lights across my horizon I let a thought wander free in my mind… I set to pondering a what if… what if the piles were reversed… and we had a large pile of wonderful days worth remembering for the unique quality of life we explored within them and the smaller of the two was the few scattered days when life truly did have us… days of illness or of true tragedy… I wonder how much that reversal would change out perspective on tomorrow… on the day we are opening and on our view of our past…

Energy flows out in ripples from the center… the more we try to hold back in our reactions the more force it takes and consequently in time the reaction is one that is larger then the action that will trip it… being the last in a line of actions no single one large enough butt the culmination being so that the wave is tidal… when the spark was but a single pebble into the pool… energy is fed and served… energy is what we are… it is how we interact and enjoy the sense of one another without even touching or coming into contact we exchange energy… that is not to say that others don’t sap our energy… or strength… because well they do… what we need to know is who and then stop them…

There is no better place then peace of mind to settle into… serenity is the ability to find inner peace amidst the chaos of the world… once accustomed to settling into your own peace of mind you will be able to access it even in the midst of turbulence around you…it is a state of positive feeling that generates good choices…

We all speak… we exchange words… some words are casual they are meant to engage one at a superficial level… they are friendly… kind… and considerate… but they lack desire… passion… they are not of your art… true communication for me is heartfelt artistic and filled with passion… words to me are an art form… most spray them about like water… never realizing the power of them… but to truly connect with some one… to truly be one with them… I believe you have to imbue your words with hue… with your desire… and your passion…those characteristics are not learned… taught… they happen with the right people… they are shared with those you connect to… times and circumstances change who we have this ability with… it is not some thing forced… it just is… much like when you meet some one for the first time and immediately you are aware of knowing them… the energy… the connection is immediate and strong… when the person is right and the time is right the words flow as effortlessly as the rain…

Take a moment… in the scope of what is before you a deep breath and a moment can align the many influences in such a way as to give focus… any activity is filled with levels of competency… and layers of knowledge… some knowledge is used to the best for those who need it… other knowledge is used by the members to do as little as possible… the structure of an organization is supported by its knowledge base… within that base is an array of experience that is sued to perform at a certain level of competency… in general competition hones the knowledge we have to a fine sharp edge and we use that niche to gain customers… in some case as in monopolies or service organizations controlled by government… performance is not measured in that way… it is measured by time… it is measured by service years… and there are ways of hiding within the organization that make it difficult to be found out… therefore knowledge is used there not to hone skills butt to find ways to appear or act instead of being effective… in fact being good at what one does is sometimes a draw back to moving forward… so we open doors to others to get the chances when we should have closed them out by being effective managers of our own destiny… the line her is one of greed or maximizing of profit… witch is what business is all about…

Many roads lead to the far reaches of ones mind… each has its value in taking us for a trip… each trip has many facets… each a singular thread… a skill… a point of knowledge… an awakening of truth… as we explore our options we may find that one road teaches us in a way that is easy and enjoyable while another allows for a more difficult approach… from each we immerge knowing more… with hone skills… though one would seem more to our liking then the other… within our tendency would be to go with the flow… to move with effortless grace upon the stones… to step easily and leave our mark upon those we touch and be touched by those we encounter… each road does that… each has a means to create within us a framework of dealing with life’s reality… and yet even within some of the harshness of reality we can find support in the most unlikely of places… life is so much easier when the lines are black and white… evenly divided across lines and avenues… butt as we learn… that is not the case most of the time… and within we can find a way… and in finding a way we gain skill… insight and knowledge that will come into play… some times… some where…

What you are willing to let go is just as important as what you are willing to take upon yourself… a true gift is one we embrace and hold close to our hearts… it is one we willing accept as part of our being… when we let go of an old idea… concept or belief we are embracing another one that if we are willing will take us a step closer to our dreams…

If we choose to love it dominates our life… while at times it may not appear as a choice… love is a simple choice… it is a means to an end… love embraces… it is an encouraging emotion… as we move forward in our lives we have choices we can make… we choose careers… friends… education… while those put us on pathways the choice to love open us a wide variety of opportunities within each of those choices that the choice alone does not… love finds us… embraces us and defines us… better that we are defined in terms of love then in terms of career or education…

Alternatives is what makes life interesting… when it comes to education I have found that the smaller the group the more positive the experience… teaching can be done to the masses and is often accomplished that way… in those circumstances the dexterity of the teacher is put to the maximum test… a test I am afraid most teachers would fail… that is not because they are not intelligent well meaning individuals… it is because they are knot properly trained to deal with large groups… education is not a right as some believe it to be in the free public arena… it is a privilege… that is the primary difference between public and private tuition based schools… the public ones look at education as a right and are forced by decrees and mandates to provide for the one student if that be necessary what ever that students needs are… while private schools can weed out the ones that don’t fit their agenda…

What I enjoy about a good public school is that they tend to be sized to deal with the many issues that come up… popular opinion of late has been to combine schools into large regional institutions that on the surface save money due to the limiting of high paying administration officials… the theory is good but in practice it is weak… simply because when you bring together large groups you magnify all the diverse situations… one problem can disrupt an entire class… so bring more into the mix disturbs more… there fore the smaller the better… less is more… now properly handled by trained teachers and staff a problem at one time becomes an asset… unfortunately in the public sector the problems are seen not as the parents difficulty but as the schools… this does not typically occur in private schools… in such places the parents take on a greater responsibility other then tuition and find raising… they are held in account for the actions of their child… so when I compare the two the choice for me was easy… not so for many who are forced by economics or other factors…

Choice is a good thing… it allows us to compare and contrast… to see the world from both sides now… and decide… I believe that some private schools are highly successful because they can choose who enters their doorways… while public ones suffer from a lack of parental support… or in some cases too much parental support… success should not be measured by test scores and graduation rates as much as creation of thinking well adjusted individuals… we spend a great deal of money each year on education… dollar for dollar the private schools succeed more then the public… they are run with discipline… parental support and to a degree with expectations for high success… while we all want our public schools to be successful and they are judged by test scores and graduation rates… some thing is missing in the large scale of things… if one was to compare… size for size… I believe the public and private can compete evenly… but more and more the public is becoming a huge institution… and that in my humble opinion is not what a school should be… it should be small personal and in the interest of the student… the successful ones create that environment… the unsuccessful ones miss it…

We have knot had a word between us in some time… and I do miss it… the world is revolving… the days passing and the normal routines have returned to the home… I hope all is well with you… as I was wandering in my mind today i was looking for a word that would fit… it is a fry day… not a warm one but a fry day nun the less… and on fry days the mind wanders off to the weak end… what have we to wonder about this weak end… the usual routine of necessary trials with the youngest son… of track meets and religious meetings and indoor soccer games… is it a weak end if there is no soccer… probably knot… it would not feel like a weak end with out some type of sporting event to lull me in… sew on this fry day I seek a word that when place edge wise along the seem finds a smile… perhaps a laugh… for what is life without smiles and laughs… and there is always hope for those who frown and cry… the day is one of many stuck in the beginning of the year… so once more we start… we stop we play along with the words… and find one… perhaps in the long rambling of thought one pops out and is held above others to see how it shines in contrast to the dark of winter’s rain… so her are some words to thread in time… and hope fully there is one that strikes your fancy…

Expectations have a way of coming true… you see what you expect to see… hear what you seek in another’s voice and feel what you intended to feel… life is about expectations… you get to create an expectation and live it… and while life will some times be uncooperative in helping you achieve your expectations… for the most part what we expect to happen does…

Being anonymous allows ones imagination to flow in what ever pattern they desire it to… there are many who imagine me as one thing… others as some thing else… I have often referred to myself as a figment… a piece of the imagination for each one… that allows them to consider all sorts of avenues of thought that perhaps if they knew me in reality that would not be possible… for me all thoughts in mind are possible… real and other wise… it is how I am wired… the action on them is some what different… but while some believe thought is a crime… I believe a lack of it is… so I allow myself the opportunity to expand my imagination in ways others would consider faulty… being anonymous allows for such adventures… it certainly does allow the mind to wander… to wonder about the person we speak with… once we know however one ahs to consider how they see the person… do they now change there perspective or do they continue to believe their imagination or in my case the thread that attaches us… my thought is that people connect on a very spiritual level… at least I connect on a spiritual level… and I have this thought that my sight sees knot the mask but what is behind the mask… I hope I am going beyond the superficial to the core… perhaps that is my greatest gift or my greatest weakness… for I feel connected… being anonymous does not stop me from knowing… in fact it allows me to know more…

We all learn as we go… it is part of the process and the sooner we realize we can learn from even our children the sooner we accelerate the learning process and path we are on…

If one wished to know what was on my mind they would tumble in a rambling flood of words cascading down a water falling in two the bubbling madness for rushing tides and flowing rivers off to streams to find the sea in ships or boats filled with fools and lesser men who once believed in white whales and fortunes to be found riding waves and holding on to ones fantasies as opposed to dreams… know… looking into my mind is madness… at least until you are able to let go reality for a time…

I am thinking that nature has in all ways had the upper of the hands over us… nature survives while we are born… grow and expire… though all of our generations from the first the only constant around is nature… yes we are insignificant in terms of the universe… so what…

Time presents us with thoughts… with situations… with opportunities to grow… a lot of difficulties are caused by our own waves… the ripples we create within an environment… we are difficult people because well we are difficult people… rigid lines and orders are part of the process… it has been my experience to allow the one who pays to make the waves only so high… before I change the surface on witch the wave strikes… in my past I would be the wall… the stone wall… the hard surface… to the others rock… conformity happened or the scattered tattered ruins lay all around… there is only truly one way to accomplish some thing… it was my way… or don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out… now even when you pay people they eventually get to a point where money is not the single driving force and they will step aside… butt I wonder what lesson is in this… there is some thing more… some thing that rings to your core… a similar thought we have threaded upon butt never examined closely… you are a person who over stands orders… who responds to direction… who knows the process and can cull the information quickly an easily… you are an asset… most have difficulty with assets… most want to control them… manipulate them… and this is where you are I believe… in this struggle that goes deep to the core of you… even with all your training and life experience you rebel against the structure… against the limitations and especially against the control and manipulation… a smart manager would recognize the asset and surround it with good support… use it to train and educate… this one applies more pressure… it reminds me of the story of the farmer who is plowing the fields with his two horses and whipping the shit out of the one… and his friend says Jim… why are you beating that horse so he while you never touch the other… and the farmer looks at Jim and says… well… he is the only one who works… I can beat the other until he is unconscious and he would not do a thing more… at least this one responds… and that is the lesson in structured work environments such as governments… the ones who work get more… the ones who don’t get less… and promoted… rewarded and moved on… yet it is difficult not to be the work horse isn’t it… against your nature not to put forth the best effort… and this is known… and being used against you… the question is not how can you get out… the question is how can you turn it around… so you control what happens… nature is what nature has gotten used to… last minute stuff is not a normal process… it is what the process has gotten used to… business is famous for the late Friday call… for an early Monday need… it is dealt with all the time… some times we have to shut off our cell phones… turn off our computers and not take a call and let the time slip by and enjoy the wonder… sorry was away last weekend… put my 40 in… was away… was there some thing wanted… I will get right on it… be ready on Tuesday… now having done that myself… I have heard the roar of the lion right in my face and turned and mentioned… just so you know… you pay me by the hour… and no over time… and I put my time in… so where was this time coming from… you expected me to work for free did you? Do you work for free? I did eventually get fired from that company… for being right by the way… and they lost the contract that I worked on 6 months later… it went to the company I went to work for… actually it went with me… so while we all wonder some times how things will work out… they will… and we are not beginners you and I… we are old true hands at the wheel… you are an asset not a liability… butt assets are abused more and that is what is happening… they do it to you well because you let them… yea that is shitty of me to say… because it is hard to stand and say no… especially when you need a job… butt don’t you think they know that… don’t you think they are using that against you… poor mangers do that shit… poor administrators only care about the results… and there fore they are poor companies who are filled with low producing people and a few gems who make the entire operation work… you are not stuck… butt if I was to say some thing… this situation reminds me of perhaps our first deep discussion… this relationship with your employer is some what abusive in its nature… you deserve better then that…

Sooner is now… now is the moment to be over… or perhaps it is the next moment butt the sooner you say it… and live it the sooner you get on with being more you then in transition from the one you to another you… for a time you need to get comfortable with change… with progressing forward and leaving the old behind… to rise from the ashes you truly do have to burn away the past…

Opinions it is said are like backsides… we all have one… and asking for one is sure to get you a response… I have never heard an inappropriate request for I have been asked a lot of very strange questions… some very personal as well as some esoteric in nature… what is inappropriate to one is perfectly okay with me… I am that way… easy… very easy on the question side… my experience is that some times it is comfortable to ask a person outside the lines what they think… for those inside the lines are so tangled up in the threads they no longer see… hear or feel logically…

When we put logic aside we can allow ourselves the opportunity to wander without boundaries and it is within those boundaries of creativity that we often find our way home… the deeper the creative mode the more the possibility exists that we will find a thread that will work for us… nothing is impossible when creating… nothing at all… making it come to life outside in the reality of the world is a wonder filled challenge and one we should all find comfort in… stretching allows us to succeed more then we ever imagined… as long as we can step away and know while we didn’t reach totally our objective we did come this much further then we would have if we had only reached for the first step instead of the top step… success is measured in my mind by the willingness to reach beyond and to come away with new skills… knowledge of abilities and determination to go back and do it again…

Nothing in life is more positive then taking steps…

We have opportunities… time some times is elusive… outside forces apply pressure to the window of that opportunity… I stand at the edge of the opening and I wonder… if what I am doing is positive… if what I believe is positive… if the next step is worth risking what I have… I believe that with each step to truly gain anything we must first let go of all we have gathered… and when we land back on the solid ground of our foundation we gather once more to us…butt having let go of everything we some times are unable to grasp what is important for it slips between our fingers as we pull all we have gathered over time… knowing what is important some times takes a loss… some times it takes a miss step to know that was some thing I need to find and bring back within the realm of me…

The busy nest is one of those things I sit back and wonder about… all of a sudden from out of know where a series of circumstances that require my attention… a message from fate… the hand of destiny pointing me in a direction… I am some what unsure… so I will keep my mind open…

When the time is right… I know the confluence of factors will come together… just because we wish for some thing with some one does not mean we should force the issue… some facts simply need time to come out in the right context… with the proper soul friend… I have felt the gentleness of that release in a flood of tears… I have benefited from being with the one who makes me whole and I know the beauty of a soul friend… these are not things forced… they simply are… and while one can be for one they some times can not accept the same in return… I am I said to no one there and know one heard at all not even the chairs… I am heard more in the sounds of my own silence then in the madness of my art…

If you trust it is based on your definition of what trust is to you… and the degree to witch you trust… while there is a common thread to what trust is to all of us we all have variations and those variations are what com into play and that is where two can trust one another with their lives… with their heart and soul but knot with some experiences… it appears as a strange butt it is not when hue listen closely… for fear is an element of what we hold within… and as we gain more in terms of a relationship it is more difficult to let go of what we fear… the fear becomes the motivation to with hold and in with holding we modify the general definition of trust to one that fits our situation… I am not saying that is a bad thing… it explains how one sees trust differently then the other…

To some the issue is a simple one… confidence in the original plan… change being some what an enigma as to the success of the outcome… the mission is to place before others the way to achieve a successful grasp of the knowledge available… success has been done this way for some time… why change the successful routine to incorporate technology… the debate will rain on and on… for it is the mind that we wish to grow not the dependence on the machine that for some holds the ability to do more… with all the advancement of time there are still some who are not readers… writers who rely on the capability of the machine to correct their structure of the written word… at the same time the ability to have things at ones finger tips is thrilling… the question is how does one weigh the two… e-mail has replaced letter writing… but is there anything more enjoyable then getting a letter in the mail… one can explore the social aspects and the economic aspects and the degrees that another has… butt it all comes down to what the person sitting at the head of the table sees as the best method to learn with… and for me… depending on the situation I would go for mind and ideas spontaneously conceived and exchanged over the copious taking of notes… lively debate for me is more enlightening then the listing of facts… figures and dates when things happened… all those are important for a reference… and can be brought in to the conversation… butt I believe it is the conversation that strikes the chords within us… and brings out the desire to know more… not the mere listing of facts… now technology enables us to move back to the classical ideals I am all for that… teaching is about learning how to think… that is why one studies… goes to school… challenges their mind… what scares most older people is that they are unable to grasp the technology and they don’t want to appear stupid or foolish so there fore they ignore what goes on around them… children can teach us… it is just some find that repulsive…

In time they grow and they become their own people… and with that they experience all the range of emotions associated with that… they have issues with anger… fear… happiness love and all the many variations of threads in between and just because they are older in age does not make them wiser or able to deal with the issues any better then they did as small children… there are moments when our pride and our prejudice get in the way of our own best interest… I have known families who have not spoken for so long to one another that they can no longer remember why… butt they are too stubborn to give in… now that is some thing tragic in itself… we all have our times and places and Godde knows I am not saintly and there was a time when I would refuse to speak… butt I learned to say what needs to be said at least for me… and to move on… or more to let the other move on… it hurts… butt I found it hurts more to knot…

Anger is a necessary emotional wave of the hand to release that witch we allow to build within us… it is the volcano erupting… and yet if we allow the steam to escape slowly when the simmering begins we will find that we have managed the stirrings of our soul much more effectively then if we allow things to build… anger is necessary for it tells us that something is not as it should be… it brings our attention to what needs to be changed… yet once we know we need to let the anger slip away…

When you have choice between now and some other time… choose now… the percentages are with you… while it is important to give time and space… if we forever are waiting for the right time… the right place… the right combination of factors to come into play to produce the best circumstances… we may wait a long time… when we use now the time that is present to us as best we can we create opportunities tomorrow… when we put off until tomorrow we create an expectation that we will do some thing… we are apply pressure to ourselves to perform when all we ever had to do in the first place was to use the time we have… setting some thing aside for a better moment in time may be the best step is for the most time a step of hesitation… and that step can cause you more harm then good… there are times when a hesitation is worth your while… butt I have found that while for some it works out for the most it was lost potential…

In the course of making time we allow for the ebbs and the flows of life to capture us… in the course of opening the minutes we find ways to use more of what we have in ever increasing waves… time is not about the minutes ticking by as much as it is about leaving your imprint in the time given to you… life burdens us with obstacles is we see them as obstacles… and burdens are what we perceive them to be… the mind is open to change because the heart calls out for it… all the while the routines of old dictate rituals that require some thing of you to find the comfort you demand… hard work and little praise is an odd work ethic… rebellious we all become when advantage of us is taken… one can scream all they wish the results are all the same regardless of the time… and some times we have to let go of the pressure that others apply for some times failure is the only medium that allows for true change to occur… some times the process has to be allowed to crumble and fall so eyes open… ears hear and senses awaken to the need… I have learned that process is comforting… that procedures rule… and that people can hide for long periods of time safely within the walls of their security blanket of looking busy… when in fact they are not… in time we will roll along to another place butt truthfully if we remain the same will the process around us change… if we truly wish to have change within the environment we work… we must change… and in changing we change those around us… the problem is once engaged in a head butting contest… neither wants to back away or down or around to find solutions… we want what we want when we want it… my solution to time projects has in all ways been that they take a certain number of hours… and when given them I return the delivery time upon receipt of material… in other words I say based on getting the things I need I can produce what you desire in this amount of days… then I make sure it happens or report on changes due to material not getting to me… in this way I have been able to set some pretty strict rules… there is the standard method and an expedited one… and you only get to expedite one every so often and you better have a good reason… you are in one of those freelance places… where time is what you make of it… a lot of freedom so pressure is applied to get more from you then from some one who sits at a desk in a building from 9 – 5 each day… more is expected due to experience and because you are home…you would be better off probably working in a building 9 – 5… but you prefer more freedom and with that comes more difficulties dealing with numb nuts who believe they are providing the material when in fact they are not… and when the material finally does arrive you have a limited resource of time to accomplish what is required… there fore the intense use of days instead of hours… one turns the tables so to speak by not moving until the package arrives… it is ready aim fire… each in its sequence… each allows the proper preparation and each allows for the next to be accomplished successfully… so much in business is ready fire aim… or aim ready fire… or fire… ready aim… witch as you can imagine has less then wonderful results…

People are strange with their pets… if left to their own some will treat them as people… when they are pets… they should be treated kindly… taught to do things properly… so they can be an asset not a drawback…

Wandering back can have great benefits once we separate the deep emotions… time heals the wounds and softens the waves that the original event had upon us… wandering back can some times give us insight into the skills and experiences we have had… especially if we can manage to disassociate from the event and look at it from as many different angles as possible… in that respect I believe wandering back can give us some useful knowledge… if however we are unable to disassociate from the event then it is best to leave the past in the past…

In answering some times I will face what is asked… other times I will knot… I never can predict what will come of a direct question… butt I will always answer… ambiguously perhaps butt I will answer… those who ask for direct answers some times get more then they bargain for… in normal mode I an usually direct and to the point… while in creative mode I am more fluid and bending… I have angered more then one with my directness or what they perceived as a lack of compassion… but a disassociated opinion is what they asked for… and it is what I returned… some times I am rather blunt… so I have learned unless pushed to give a direct answer I tend to be more diplomatic… lol… if that word could be used in regards to me at all… well I tend to be my creative self…

We wander across the landscape of our life time… we leave foot steps along paths… tire tracks along roads… skid marks before crashes… our imprint is left on every soul we have touched or has touched us… while we have no control over the times we live in or the world at large we do have control over what we use the time given to us for… and I believe it is best used when we spend a portion of it letting out what is captured inside in some creative way…

In life is there anything more sensual then a whisper… words whispered across the ear warm and excite the senses… in romance they are referred to as sweet nothings… to whisper a sweet nothing into a lover’s ear is to send shivers down their spine… it allows you an advantage… a position of taking then into your arms and losing yourself in their eyes… in their heart and soul… speak sweet nothings in whispers that only the heart can hear that only the soul can truly fathom and you will forever be bound to them…

Reason is a trap… for with reason we can be falsely led to believe some thing… a fact placed before us… a series of argument presented in logical fashion… reason justifies steps… and give good clarity to the mind… of what actions need to be taken… yet we learn in life that reason can be false… it can be predicated on misinformation or the lack of a foundation… when we have a strong belief it is purposeful to challenge it constantly… to bring it out of the dark into the light and shake it to its foundation… and if it fails in circumstances or cracks under the weight of truth… then we have done ourselves justice by removing it…

Illusions have there way with me… I am easily fooled… or made a fool of… or perhaps I trust too much before I should… I have this illusion about how I sense things… the easier it is to imagine the easier it is to believe… the more I can push the beliefs I have around to fit in the many varied aspects of what I wish to incorporate inside my dreams… I have no illusions about who I am only about where I am going and with whom… perhaps that is my greatest weakness or possibly my greatest strength… swords tend to have two sides to them and they are capable of killing one as well as any other if we are not careful… the full force of the illusion comes to bare the burden of who we are in the face of the mirror… we look we see and if our eyes seek out we will find what we search for… critical objective thought aside we can be our own worst enemy… and that being said is not a good positive influence… one should know their strengths and their weaknesses butt beyond that it is possible to corrupt that into a spiraling effect that limits ones potential knot to helpful realization of what needs to be done butt forceful brutal awareness of immobility… we push on us so hard we give up on us… because we believe we are incapable or unworthy of the satisfaction of success… we simply fail to see the day dawning and the night falling as music… enchanted opportunities or moments worth keeping… one simple change in perspective can lead to altered beliefs and that is to embrace the illusions we have that are positive and look forward in life… find the magic in the dawn… and ride it through till night…

When working together it is about balance and compromise… what it becomes at times is a struggle for witch one gets their way… it is the same in any relationship… the same skills are required… and we all have them… it is just a test then to explore ways of using them… human interaction does not change because it is work or it is social… the same rules apply even if we choose to ignore them…

I am a lot of maybe lately… witch just means I maybe wrong… it is a fence sort of place to be… some where along the ridge line of reality… one foot in and the other out… sitting on the fence waiting to get knocked off… there was always a bit of a mix between reality and illusion with me… knowing witch is witch is the trick to remaining on one side or the other…

My thoughts are elusive… unable to be grasped… that is what makes them elusive… and by being so they are as a rule undefined… they are wisps of some thing… a trace of some thing more… some engage the mind others not so much… I guess it depends on where I am… in my depth of illusion…

Perhaps it is time to escape the illusion and bring about some reality… enough time and space has been given… enough to allow fro the mind to wander off… and more will be given… as is required… space and time allow for moments to breathe… to relax and gain perspective… it is a prescription for a better out look… there does come a time when time becomes too much time and space becomes too much space and instead of feeling comfortable we feel lost in the surroundings… it is then that we should step back into the swing… it is not about illusion and reality as long as it can be about reality… creating an environment for living as we dream… it seems innocent to believe one can move on… that one can simply pick up where they are and move along… heart and soul given… heart and soul taken… heart and soul wondering what happened takes time to heal and time to find room to care… so space is necessary… but just the right amount of space… too much and we are lost… too little and we are cramped and can’t get away to breathe… so how much time is required… depends on the person and who is asking… I never ask how much longer you need I just assume you will respond when it is time to respond… perhaps that is naïve of me… perhaps you never will again strike a chord… if that be so… at least I will take from the time a scent… a wisp… a knowledge of some one who was creative… compassionate and kind… I stopped many years ago following after… wandering the sides of roads looking for the place one perhaps maybe stepped off to see if I could find… what I often found was that our paths crossed many times and because I was off of my own and seeking another on their chosen road I missed being involved in mine… so while it seems like I am not wondering… I am… while it seems I am not caring… I do… my ideas on these are just different then most… space and time… when the time is up the space with bring the paths in close so crosses can be made… and I am sure that perhaps maybe in the not to distant future of time our roads will find intersections…

Time allows for peace of mind… even amid the chaos of our days and nights… we get those snippets of opportunity to catch our breath before beginning once more… it may appear that my mind is peace full… that the words flowing out are calm collected and some times filled with wisdom… when I read back over them I can catch a glimpse of that… for me it is some thing that is as natural as living… the art is part of me… I am unaware except when others bring it to mind of the nature of what I write… it is probably due more to who I am writing to then to me… I believe that when we communicate with some one at times we are able to reach beyond ourselves…

Time to step away… an adventure of relaxation to look forward to… to place a dream out on the edge of your mind and day by day bring it closer in mind… in heart and in soul… a very good process… one that many should use to allow themselves the wonder of setting a dream in motion to reality…

Trials are tests… of the direction in which we move… there is no getting around the difficulties of the profession chosen… there is no way to ignore the effort one has to put forth to be good at it… and the only way to know is to do it… and to do it under the circumstances you are tells you either you are crazy or that you will make a pretty good one… for all that you experienced in getting there are all aspects of the profession you have chosen…

Family has a way of giving us perspective… they can hold us to the earth on a strong foundation… and all the while they are doing that they can give us some moments of total lunacy… when tragedy happens some times things are said that are beyond reason or blame is projected onto some one… I have had my share of such things as well… but that is what tragedy does to some people… with me I have so far fallen silent and gone into a mode of doing… until the time passes and then the realization captures me some times days or weeks later… probably not the best course… butt it is mine… and it has proven to be use full…

The perspective in witch you live is a choice… most of us choose to live with an eye toward what is wrong before me… losing the good in the routine of life we are popped out of the normal good by the sudden appearance of some thing being wrong… after some time it becomes our pattern to seek out what is wrong… and we look at life from that perspective…tests returned to us highlight what we did wrong… our parents step in when we do some thing wrong… we look at one another to see what does not fit in with the norm or what we expect to see…

If we take a moment each day to turn that over and look at the other side we begin to over stand the impact of such minor negative thought… if we just take a moment and breathe in the wonder of today and smile… we can find a number of views that are positive in nature… positive in spirit and positive in growth toward creating a more use full perspective… if we see what is wrong outside we will use that same critical eye upon ourselves… and life is difficult enough at times do we really need to make the steps we take more so because we apply a level of critique to ourselves that is of a negative nature… I am not saying we should let all of our thoughts wander freely without reservation… what I believe is more rewarding is to allow ourselves the ability to be ourselves without seeing only the one side… searching for what is wrong has its place… but one must give more then equal time to searching for what is good and pure and right in this world…

The world has many sharp edges… the more we hone them down and take away the sharpness… the more corners we can navigate without ripping ourselves to shreds… though we learn by the sharp edges we can also be wise about witch ones we venture forth to deal with…