One step out of step with another… the thought is there butt the feet never seem to meet up along the way… this way or that… the same is true… the same is false… the same is the same as it was before… that is after all what makes it the same…
We all get a bit older… a bit wiser… a bit more long in the teeth… what we do with the wisdom of the experience speaks as to whether we are growing or are we remaining in the same…
A double dear a dangerous sign… a warning that one is to be let down in a gentle way… a soft voice of understanding that the other does not quite get the message being read… that is so obvious… that is the perception… missed or grasped… a qualified solid or wisp of wind… captured in the air is the scent of the time changing… there is truly nothing like a good end… the best ones are enjoyed for the pleasure of reaching them… in a dizzying spiral of heightened anticipation… nuts… the perfect answer to any question…
I am knot one for the birthing day celebration… sorry knot me… I am knot taken by the joy or the need to notice any more then any other day… in fact the celebration of un-birthdays is more in line with the positive side of my imagination… a very merry un-birthday to you all… for un-birthdays are all the other days of the year we have that should be taken as just as unique and just as special as the one day when we were pulled kicking and screaming into the world… for it is not how we live on our birthdays that matters… butt more importantly how we live on all our un-birthdays…
We begin at the beginning… as we were once we are once more… only time has changed us… the similarities begin and end in places of time… at this time we are similar to another time… what has changed is the time… the experience of getting from one place in time to another… we all wish at times we could go back and get a do over… like when we were children playing games… life allows for do overs butt we have to wait and grasp them when they wander by… for often the do over is the hand of fate converging paths… twisting the imagination to consider a possibility we failed to reach at some other point in time…
The perfect man is a figment of the imagination… as is the perfect women… we are a series of imperfections… that fit perfectly together… how that plays out with a particular set of individuals is unique to them… we can recite the qualities we are looking for in a particular mate… and hope to get when we finally find one… but truth fully we never know the true person until we have lived with them for some time… love is blind and the blinders often cover up the most obvious of traits… over time our eyes are opened to what is behind curtain number one or two… and the things that we over looked in a person when we led separate butt entwined lives with our own space to retreat two becomes more of a focal point… it is the little things that become the gems in a soul full relationship… the small traits that may annoy at first become the things we remember fondly… behind the curtain we get the good… the bad and the ugly of each… and it is how well we navigate those streams… it is not that we are seeking the perfect… we are seeking the one who is perfect for who we are… others may see them as less… or more then we deserve… the only heart we need listen to is our own… the heart will tell you if you are aware enough to listen… hearts never lie or deceive… the head does that… the head will lead us to believe we require one thing and the heart can get carried along… when you are at peace… calm… the truth is difficult to ignore… find the one who is perfect for you and stop now seeking the perfect… for in truth they are not real… they are the figment of the imagination… created by a desire… a need… when all you truly need is before your eyes… obvious to everyone… except you are not as yet able to seize it… grasp it… or feel its tangible arms about you… you will in course find that one… and his imperfections will melt into yours and the fit will be perfect…
One step closer… one step further away… a balance of leaving to arriving… a necessary step to achieve that witch you desire… in a direction you wish to reach for more often… there are still those places where you are as you once were… they still stand up at times and rear their ugly heads… still you have made the strides necessary to be out and about… you have managed to create a life both interesting and enjoyable… with places to go and people to be… journeys to take and adventures to imagine… a never ending winding road that wraps endlessly around the next bend… imagine that…
The walls we build keep in as well as they keep out… they are monuments to our desire to protect… with each block we shield ourselves… from the slings and arrows from the outside… we bar our minds and imagination from the openness of the world at hand… with each kindness there is a similar slight… a balance of questions… with answers… eventually the walls get torn down and the soul inside must deal with the outside…
Good is also a matter of perspective… and in the same delight as perfect… a good person is a good person based on whose standards one is compared to… in the light of what we need or desire a series of traits can been seen as good and pure and to the delight of our minds… at the very same moment in time those traits may not appeal to another in the same way… kindness is often seen as a weakness… a trait for others to have… it is still the melding of imperfections I believe that makes us interesting to one another… and those traits we find so wonderful at first are not in all ways so wonder full as time moves on… good people are good people it matters not their gender… a person who is responsive to another’s need is a good person… some times that means they have to be an arse to get the other to listen… the lessons of tough love are numerous… it is not about good or bad… it is about direction… and knowing what we need as opposed to what we want… we all want a person to care for us… what we need at times is a person willing to take us on…
Bringing to light alternatives through questions is a better purpose or direction… questioning ones choices in hind sight makes for a challenge… while lessons are learned the angst of hind sight can be more then the lesson… better to learn to seek alternatives before stepping… for the stones are not all foundations to build upon… some are just facades that fade away as soon as any weight is put upon them… I have been both… a rock and a false stone… equally unaware… strange how that works out in life… and while we learn from the questions we learn more I believe from the experience of living… I have seen the questions top the living… and from that perspective I believe questioning is improper… from the view of creating new and better ways to reach the heights we aspire to… questioning is important…
When we seek to find we often find what we are not seeking directly… the path to knowledge is not a straight and narrow one… more often then knot it takes us on tangents we had not planned upon… we believe we know… a dangerous place in time… a place where we can over look the obvious that others see… because our minds are fixed on the solution we have formed within our own experiences… while this may play out successfully at times… there are those aha moments when this process drives us to the incorrect conclusions… more often then knot this becomes the truth… for the more ones head goes up their own ass… the less of the real world they are capable of seeing…
Life was easier when I could pick and choose… when I was not expected to do… that is some of the paradox of me… when I do without expectation of receiving it is easier for me… easier to do what I wish without consideration of others… a strange twist of fate… it makes know sense at all… does it… each action requires an equal and opposite reaction… yet if we disallow the reaction we can provide action upon action…in isolation to the reaction… a way of words without notice… not the best of ways to live… for is it life without the interaction of the reaction to the action…?
The spot though sensitive to the touch will heal… that is the point… it will heal and become some what more at ease with life… funny to me it is how I became trapped within the web I weaved… butt then we all do get captured by that witch is invisible to our eyes… the elusive obvious… the intention was not to create a void… rather to fill one… funny how the tide changes the sands around… how the water runs in depths and then shallows…
As I dwell in thought over the moments I realize that for most the out come would have been similar to what it is… their needs being satisfied they would have moved on… the corner stone being that people need to be needed… and we need one another… if for only that moment in the day when we wake up and hear the good morning or the good night or the hello how are you this day… the interaction is critical to the development of the social self… the outcomes would not have been radically different then they turned out to be… they would however been easier on the mind… the heart and the soul… in that respect they would have been… but the communication would have died any way… it is the course of life… change and growth… know one remains with some one that reminds them of who they were… they move on to the ones who remind they of who they are and who encourage them to be the best person they can be…
In the delight of what I now know… I will turn my attention to the person I know and the direction to where they are going to be… who they are moving toward and the dawn that delights my imagination… I have made missteps… and there fore I know more… and in the experience I have learned a bit about the selfishness of me… the part that helped I can keep… the part that denied access I need to do differently… for to truly be a help to another one must be available to them on all levels… for me the ability to ask… to take the gifts that are given… are things I am still working with… I am knot by nature a person who wishes to profit from another… as I have learned the lesson is not to take… but to accept what is joy fully given… and to ask when one needs the ear to listen and the shoulder to support…
A great deal of my answers fall to me as I write in endless circles… the lesson of yesterday spoke volumes to me of how the art helps the creative mind come to the conclusion that was obvious… to everyone I believe other then me… yet the words in answering the question found a way to me… and when I fell upon them they spoke in clarity for the first time… they were in all ways there… I was blind to the facts… and unfortunately I have in awareness seen the hurt I caused by being so blind… again this is the experience of life taking its turn… I stand now at the edge of the void and whisper to the past the apologies that time and space do not allow… In time I may find the words and the courage… for now it is enough that I know better what steps to take… what questions to ask and what places to go…
You will go away and come back in time… I will fade in time with time… to think some more of the times I have had… and so it goes…
The call escapes me… butt I do know its touch upon my mind… the touch stops me for I do knows its owner and the use of the tips of fingers upon my skin to call attention to… I know the pulse of my own mind and the beating of my own heart… these are things we get used to… and we get used to how the other transmits the silent thoughts across time… we get used to the notion of being in touch from the distance of space… still the color of the rainbows merge into the colors of each world…
The answer I believe is from a different perspective… a guided principle of thought… to one that is a flexible line drawn to maintain order and then to be twisted as the whim of those who know… to others… it is the letter… each is allowed their argument… each has merit to a point in time… the ones that manipulate the line to their whim are incorrect… the coarse they take is one filled with variations to be interpreted by whom ever and situations stretched in degrees… they are blinded by themselves… by their false idealism… they believing they are pursuing a coarse that aids the development when in fact they are walking a weaving path that satisfies their need to be seen as the one… and eventually they are captured in the web they weave… manipulators are screw ups and it just takes time for them to screw up enough that every one knows they are…
All I can provide is a means to imagine… beyond that there is little… some times in life that is significant… at others more is needed… the more I speak of is not the more of having… it is the more of peace… the more of the spirit… the place where one resides in peace filled harmony of self… so much of life is lived on the outside… on the crest of waves… on the precipice… it is important for me to have the peace of mind or sanity to sit in… I provide the means to imagine what if… and to connect one with another in time with time standing a bit off to one side as to slow the process of time down enough that we can breathe in and know that the time has not escaped the grasp… that we will have mornings to share and afternoons to remember… they are part of the what ifs to come… the journey to tomorrow…the place where dreams become a reality of truth…
One day closer to the reality… one step further away… one shoe on… the other off… one idea put to rest while others are coming to mind… once we decide we are already gone… the last few things take more effort to accomplish then the first many… the tide rides the waves in and out… the sand a measure of the highs or the lows… as each passes the writings are erased except in the hearts of the ones they touched… the name is engraved on the wall… at a place in time… to accomplish much takes effort… to accomplish more requires the will to be silent… to allow for missteps… for in each misstep there is a lesson… in each trial a skill is brought to our attention… it is not that we were incapable of doing it before… we just never had the opportunity to use it… with practice perfection of the imperfection… for we are a series of imperfections that at times merge with other imperfections to be perfect for one another… just the right series of bends and weaves to fit into this situation… and when the tide ebbs… knowing when to move to the next adventure… the next one is never as good as the prior when they begin… nor are they anything more then who they are… they learn to be the best they can from the experience of the adventure they have taken on… it is like the music of the night… if one never listens to the words they miss the entire idea under the words… imagination… possibility… creativity of mind… they all happen in time with time… one step closer… one step further away… one movement of the ideal to another to take it a step further down the road… what we believe of ourselves is more important then what others believe of us… for until we believe it ourselves it is impossible to achieve…
Being in between a metaphor for knot being in any one place at a time… some what unfocused is part of that butt also the idea that one can be part of some thing and still be complete without being part of… the idea of limbo not in a bad sense rather in the sense that time suspends its pressure and we are free to move in a more rapid state of mind to accomplish tasks at hand… sitting here in limbo… getting things done… putting aside the tasks at hand and time knot moving more then a few seconds… a concept I can use more to my advantage…
Sensuality exists in all words shared… you may have to seek it in the letters… or it may be obvious to the senses… it is there among the letters singularly and together… grouped as sin bowls or sinsations… that touch the skin and tingle with anticipation of the next word… the next letter to arrive… our imagination plays its part in pushing our minds to the extreme levels of what is meant with the kiss of a word or the caress of the whisper across ears… the tensions of waiting for… the pleasure of receiving… of giving in twos and threes the sighs that twist ones mind… to dream in day light of what ifs… then again it is just a word… a phrase… or a letter… what we grasp from it… is truly up to our imagination… isn’t it…
The time went quickly as time with good friends often does… I long for the time when time stands still and the moments slow to the motion of the beating of ones heart… the time however for me went swiftly and then there was know time more for this day… only time to sit and contemplate… what will come of the words we spoke… what will happen to the tides of emotions… what will happen to the spirits that entwine in nightly steps… a lot of smiles… a lot of laughs… a lot of hugs yet to share… so each will find a way back home… to the sound of their own music and each will dance to their own tune as well as the tune of the other… and what ever happens to one will be known by the other… for each is in tune…
When the time arrives to sleep for me it will be a promise of a time together… a time when the reality of life will float off and for a time in dreams there will not be the wide space of land… or difference in hours… there will just be the touch of ones voice upon the other ears and the whispers that silently say this way or that…
The morrow may bring a recollection of the dream sent one to the other… or possibly a reliving of the adventure had this day… one can hope that the thought lingers still even in dreams… one can hope that the sparks that encouraged such a response are still simmering in the night a long way off and moving toward on the crest of the new wave… one can hope and dream of the home coming… or of the silent seconds when the gasp for air of exhaustion is real… one can plead with their own sanity for a moment of insanity where all things are possible and one can separate themselves in two and run off to the other side for a life time of passion…
I could dance on the wind and never return… this day was some thing to consider… a precious memory I will make of its unfolding… it was truth fully a day that I was engulfed in emotions and spiritual hues that opened my mind to ways… to a voice… to a need to share of me what I hide deep within and let it out… scattered it to the shoulder of a single one and listened intently as the words lost their strength and I gained some of my own back…
I wished to be so much more and I fall short of the reach I stretch out in earnest to make… I will be their as the protector of that witch must be… butt I still have within me the passion… the desire and the need… some day it will be satisfied… some day it will be answered…
The beginning of all things is some what awkward…until one gets their feet under them so to speak… prepared and ready to move in response to the call… one shoulders the whispers putting them away for a safe time to keep before opening them to the ears… a smile of some proportion awaits the trip… a trip of anticipation… of being in the mood… or in setting the mood of mind inspired… a single light that illuminates the mind and twists the imagination… questions all… reactions one… two… ripples or waves to wash… the desire is there… the passion a flame of endless possibilities…
The dawn happened… captivated by the colors… a storm rose in the evening light… rumbled through and through… a burst of electricity… the universal equation of time over time… matter reformed into pillows of clouds that gather the tears of the land… then to spill forth the rain… the storms of summer come early… a rumble… a rage of heat… temperature and humidity… a sweating proposition for time to regulate with weather… dawn happened… the colors of the world faded… bloomed once more as the light peaked… a dance in the early morning hours…
Cool is the breeze that refreshes the spirit… cool are the waters of ones reflection set free to imagine more… cool are the colors of the rainbow after a summer’s storm… cool is the warmth of an embrace of thought wrapped in delight… cool is the steps taken to dance in time with time… cool is the breeze that pulls back ones hair and reveals a smile… cool is the laughter between souls… cool are the seeds of love that grow…
Sandwiched in the between are layers of thoughts… more is revealed obviously at times then hidden in the between… when to look and when to accept on the surface is an art form… one that requires a certain perspective of the writer and over standing of ones state of mind… for time is relative… to over stand beyond the surface requires I believe a reaction to the words… in a curious way… turning the words over and under… letting the sparks fly and see where they land to uncover the most logical and illogical set of reactions possible…
The stream of thought merges with the songs… the single thread follows from one idea to another… the interview of mind… captures the body and the soul… it is such a wonder that the body gets more time then the soul… butt then we are physical creatures and the comforts of the physical often are exploited to the majority over the sigh of the soul coming to rest… to find peace though is a spiritual journey… peace is not found in the things of this world… butt in the comfort of the heart and tranquility of the soul…
We are parts… separate peaces of the complete… each a shard of the other… as we touch we take a peace and leave a peace… and when we touch upon the peace taken we remember the peace left… forever they are entwined… forever they are the spark to the seed of memories of words… music… a single dance in ones mind… or a frolic upon the painted canvas of time wished for butt never granted in reality… delicious to swirl in ones mind as food for the soul… we are the parts of the complete… peaces to soothe the summer heat… the winter’s chill and fall’s harvest… thank full we are of the hands that held us… the arms that embraced our minds… and the shoulders that held our tears… for in the words are all these tendencies… all these journeys of mind… body and soul…
Words are all that some have to give… they are the threads to the fabric of their lives… lucky are the ones who can step forth from the words and act upon them… so few there are who have that ability… for most of us we love with words and comfort we find in them… so few are close enough to share the intimacy of words and actions combined… it is not that love cannot exist in the realm of words alone it does… and such passion can it stir within us… words are all we have for most of the loves that surround us… the select one or two get to feel the warmth of our soul beyond the words…
That feeling of being in limbo… not quite some place or not quite in this place either… a situation of being neither in nor out… a blur of activities to reach the goal… the golden key or words of eventual solutions… one or the other… a sip of tea a cold drink in the sands of time to warm the skin and then to dive in and in an instant be awakened by the cold… cooling waters of the ocean’s wave… a summer’s dream… being me back to the lazy… hazy… crazy daze of summer… a new revelation that time really does change us… even if I could I would find it difficult to do nothing in the heat of the summer… as I once did… sitting on the parch steps watching the day go by… that feeling of limbo… knot quite at the end… not quite at the beginning… some where undefined in the middle of the ship…
The thought provokes ideas… to awaken one from the soundness of sleep…or better to stir them from the depths of dreams to another place in time… where the mind wanders and the touch of another’s imagination can unfold… the thought lingers in the air between and silently creeps in two… the spine responds with a single tone… an awareness of the hand… the finger tips… the pulse of the heart that beats within… the skin tenses… a tease of time… anticipation raising the moment higher still… the appetite wet as the lick of ones lips wanting… a pleasure to be invited in… to be asked to hold… to caress to imagine the steps… the unfolding of the mind… the thought did provoke an ideal… a time and place where time is as still as time can be… where the expression of seconds is measured in the depth of the daze one achieves… where each breath is slowed down to feel the surge of air in and out… the edge of sensations ignited and wanting of the hand that awaits… just there before ones eyes… in mind open eyes closed the touch connects with the awaiting hue and a series of shivers move along in ripples…a signal to stir the mind to imagine more… to desire more… a kiss of passions lips… an embrace of his touch upon your breast… hearts beats… breaths taken in gulps of air… struggling to find the air to breathe… struggling to control the whispers for more… the desire to let go and fall… the passion that consumes the soul… at once a prisoner of ones own desire and taken to heart be knot the one who awaits butt be the one who awakens the spirit of the other in soundness of sleep and shake them so they know who is making love to them… so they feel every fiber of your being moving within every fiber of their being… until you both reach the edge and fall hopelessly over and into bliss full awakening… some what aware of the magic…some what aware of the presence… totally aware of the reaction… smiling…