Every one of us has a way to follow… We some times get lost in our own way… have become used to what we do and the way we do it we loose the sight that opens our eyes to alternative opportunities… This is especially true when passionate… We wish others to appreciate our efforts… yet we have forgotten they to have efforts… that they get lost in becoming invisible is one of those efforts… to be knot seen… I am fond of saying that I am an illusion… It is because I have learned knot to be a full picture… the words I write allow the reader to form their own picture of me using their imagination… In the past when I have filled inn those blanks their has been difficulties I was ill prepared to deal with… Today there is knot one who still corresponds to me… All having left without a word… over time I have come to the conclusion that eye was unable to sea the path I was on well enough… I was lost in my own head… captured by my own thoughts… I forgot about the others I was suppose to be watching over… and the more I grasp to hold on the more difficult it was… until I could do nothing write… and my words fell on deaf ears…

Sharing is what we do when we open our minds, hearts and souls to those we write to… In the words are the pieces of the puzzle that is each of us… My mind plays out here quite readily exposing who I am… yet there are gaps that the reader wishes to be filled in… and questions must be answered… Patient I never was yet I have found some now and I do sit with a calmness until asked before answering or deflecting… Usually I speak in rhyme or reason… allowing the reader to grasp from the unfolding words the message of who is behind the mask of words… some times that plays out and some times it frustrates… either way it leads to a place where questions are asked and answers must be given… Sew I learned to answer them when asked…

At times we all wander free of ourselves wishing and hoping for some change… Our minds play with the what if questions over and over… to fill the void in time we imagine places other then the places we know… The road does not end… it is lined with places to stop along the way where we can peek inside to in joy the wonders of what we see… to me there is delight in knowing that there are others who wander the same path invisible to be until they appear and walk with me for a time… The process of sharing thoughts opens ones mind, heart and soul… and there they find passion, desire and maybe love… but it is a love of life that is there in the sharing… a love of a cultivated art… As we wander the course of any particular rode we each wander off to in joy the off shoots returning when we are finished with that wonder… having learned so much along our ways we are filled with perceptions and notions… and it is some times interesting to break free of those illusions to stand in the path of uncertainty and let the tide of change pull us before spying an alternative and grasping hold… ride the wave and let the hand of fate open your eyes to the illusions you dream about… We share of who we are in each peace we send… there are flowers… there are scents… there are illusions in each other’s eyes… yet they all play their part in the imagination that blooms within… what if thoughts pop into our heads and swirl about… and we play with them like butterflies on a summers evening fluttering from one delicious flower to the next leaving a bit of each on the next and the next… we are those butterflies that inspire thought… reaction and action… we are the cause and the effect… the beauty and the beast… we are the reality and the illusion… it is important to have both… to hold both… to allow both to exist within the one…

It is important to take time each day to do for who we are… religiously we toil at what drives us… letting go of the needs we have to serve others while the needs within stir we ignore them lost in that message of it being some how virtuous to suffer in the service of others… In time the effects of such things play out and we fall to the side… and wonder where has the Godde of our Father left us…? I have sat in that fire myself awaking in the aftermath of a deluge of faith… hearing for the first time that there is time in each day for thee as well as for those you serve in my name… From that moment on time has always been there to sit with me until I have done the art that opens my heart, mind and soul… freeing me to do what is before me…

The winds of change blow cold in the wintry mix of time… a frost covers the world we live in nestled in our blankets shivering against the artic blast of winter and temperatures in the numbers below the range of zero… In these off times when move mint is slow and our minds have time we get to slip… slide and push away from the reality and dream once more… My dreams are often wanderings in past times before they are pulled forth to wonder in the now and yet to be… I some times get lost in the sentimental forest and loose sight of where I am going over come by the emotion of it all I sit with tears running down my face… I was there to shake others free but who shakes me loose of the forest… of my own fears, anger… my emotional wave… some times we hold the key and some times the key is held by those we cherish with all our hearts for it is with them that we can be truly ourselves with nothing hidden… I have found and lost such wonders in my life… each one held a gift that gave more to me then I could have possibly given in return… but they are gone from me now so the message is that I have learn to do what I must and there fore the teacher leaves to wander forth… and the student wither grows with them or is left behind… to search for their way among the roads they have yet to traverse…

I have successfully hidden myself in the shadows once more… It has taken a long time to find my way in the forest of trees that line the path I have chosen… I pop out some times and in as quickly leaving most of what I write as silent prayers that others may one day realize but that is at a time when my words will fall silent in the night and be heard knot by the ears but only by the heart and soul… We are only truly missed by those willing to take the time to miss us… the rest only notice when they pause in busy nests as an after thought… at that point they are much to troubled of mind to reach out across time and space to us… or to any one for they are truly alone…

Words are to some the tool of the artist within… they are spun with creativity and influence the process that one uses to decide… to please and to defend ones choice of life… Often in life words strike us forming an illusion that creates a sensation that lingers… it is best to use our gifts to reform this illusion into a correct picture as soon as we are prepared… Some times it is time that will alter the picture and some times we must speak to alter the image that has made its way into our minds… Each time we speak we add to our artistry and learn how to use gifts we are… experience the greatest of all teachers shows us the way and if we are unsure enough we will remain aware and conscious of how our words are reforming the original image… In this way we clarify the space between and open our world to continued possibilities…

Each passage has a meaning in it to those that read it… what one takes from the passage is a direct reflection on who they are and their experiences in life… Time was when I could stir the pot and get any type of reaction… now I prefer to allow the energy to find its own way… There are labels on the doors and directions to follow… passages to continue down and around… there are figures of speech and terms to learn and unlearn as we go… Yet each use defines us some what and even when we cat lick or we he brew of we prop the stand we define our selves… A shift from won side to an other won side is a leap of faith in a hope to land on a softer spot knot wanting to be tied down… we carry the pillow with us… stuck to our extremities to shield our bottoms… we land and we are helped up but as artists are we faith filled to our dance or are we still in desperation searching for the dance…?

Take the path and walk it with patience… for each dream has a beginning… a middle and eventually an end… Fate has shown you that there is possibilities before your eyes… in joy keep them close and let go the ties that bind one… for one is kept by cutting the strings away and allowing them to wrap theirs with yours… there is a wish we shared… an experience where the energy of mine washed with the energy of yours to form a blanket of warmth that still rests within you… this is of what I write… creating the tapestry of a relationship is a spiritual combination that requires free drums for the mind to create its artistry… the Rose grows in fertile grounds and is being cultivated with inner desire, passion and exterior love such that she glows so bright her delight filters across the earth and tickles my feet… even in the fog of a Saturday I feel the heat in the shadows… The rose is a strong flower though delicate in nature… The best is yet to be…

One can hide behind the words that play before them… The mind remaining silent allowing the words of another to define them… we often find exact words in songs or readings of religious text to define our place in time… when we allow that to over ride our art then we fall into the trap of believing we are less then the artists we are… for in a spiritual sense it is our words that hold the most meaning not the words of others that we define our sense with… but our interpretations of these experiences… What is in a word is as important as the many ways it can be used to turn a phrase this or that and the path we choose to use it in… I am at a loss for the words and they flow like rivers… either way we are connected to them as a way of expression of self expression… it is our art that is sought after… let it play out in the joy of time…

Diversity is way of seeing things… Knot every view is the only view… as a matter of perspective each view is a unique one… it belongs to the one seeing it and no one sees the same thing exactly the same way… That does not mean that their opinion is useless or should be disregarded… When we dismiss another’s view as being less then our own we run the danger of missing some thing… That is not to say that one will play out better then another’s… The purpose being to consider before decision… to review as many potential paths before we choose…

Religion has a way of bringing out the best and the worst in people… When a person is true to themselves and what they believe in then they should speak freely of that belief… Christian people are not very Christian… and I say that as a Christian… Religious beliefs are personal and deeply held… When some one speaks loudly of their beliefs they will always draw attention… For there are many paths to salvation… Now we disagree on the path one must take but I stop by and read what you write and I enjoy reading most of what you put forth… You are a person who believes deeply in what they write about… You have a passion for it… That should never be silenced… What we all need to learn is that there is a place we can agree or at least agree to disagree peacefully… Unfortunately that war is still being fought in the middle east and will I suspect until people become tolerant of each other’s opinions and place… We can all learn a bit of that… Since I believe we come in contact with others to learn from them I have been able to learn from your writings… from your opinions… I enjoy them because they are different then mine… they provide insight and a wealth of knowledge… You should continue to be who you are…

To know is to place a definition… to knot is to allow ones imagination to run wild though the fields of ones dreams… There is a purpose to writing… or for any creative influence… what it brings to the writer… what it relates to the reader… what it has to say about life at the time it was written and in times yet to come when the words may be unearthed… Words are the music that soothes the heart, the mind and the soul… I have a style that flows like a river some times… a river that washes over one as they sit within the warmth of the water on a cool summer’s eve… Sharing is the process that opens another’s mind to possibilities that are endlessly stretching out before them… There is magic in what one shares of themselves… and when the artist within rises forth the combination of styles adds twofold to the wonder… The garden is filled with flowers to enjoy… of scents to breathe in with every breath… of sights to lure the mind away to fancy… Time stands still in such places as our imagination can create… with an illusion in hand it is easy to walk the avenues of ones imagination… stopping to indulge the heart… the soul… or the mind with a journey to what if… or when…

Very few people delight of the space… it is nice to have some one wander in from time to time… I wish I was more “normal” in some respects and that my writings appealed to others… and they wood wish to read them… but then I am the nut that drives the wheel… at times and at others I am a bit of the rode being driven upon… a particle of dust along the way…

A smile as radiant as yours lights the night time sky all the way to the eastern shores of another continent… I was wondering who was dancing so loudly in the land of my dreams… now I know for sure it is the rose that whispers in my ears and sings at the tops of her lungs… A sweet joy I sense in the air that pleases me so deeply you can knot imagine… It is nice every so often to sit with a flower in full bloom radiant and joyful… and let the scent of their happiness filter inside your mind, heart and soul… The path finder is at peace with the world… and so the world is at peace with the finder of ways… it is a great sensation to be at one with the world and have the world be at one with hue… and have that shared by the four corners of ones soul mates… I sense smiles all around bathed in the joy you are spreading… the happy nest welcomes you and surrounds hue with the colors of the rainbow to paint with…

Defined by what we say… cat a gore eyes by what we due… given a structure to define us we resist the confines of such a definition yet we feel safety within the walls of the prison we raised about us as our way…we struggle to allow others in to this secure hideaway where we are most vulnerable and when others find the key and slip inside we are frightened responding that they have know idea who we are and how dare they define us as who we are in their eyes… we only wish to be who we are and struggle we will until we are the person we wish to be but the journey requires that we look into the back of yards and just relax into the thought of where we are and go from there to where we wish to be… To crush the definition one has only to stretch their imagination out beyond the boundaries they set breaking free of the false beliefs and taking on new more potent ones…

Each day a thought occurs to me… a some what sentimental thought… a pleasure to ride the waves of these dreams and revel in the tides that change… to explore the new potential possibilities as they rise to the surface of my imagination… There is more to rain then water… to the snow then cold… to the sun then warmth… to the earth then the ground… to the fire then heat… there is more in between the images then what the images allow through… There is more written in tablets of stone then we have unearthed… and when we do the tides will rise up to great the new day as a shining example of days yet to come… We are the artists of our life times… and each day we are obliged to take up the brush… leaving behind at the end an image of what life was on this day in time…

People change… they do so as they grow… we all arrive at places where we must decide in witch direction we will go in… When we settle in to a place we become closed to other opportunities… we develop routines that our minds enjoy all the time wishing to step outside of the structure to learn… We learn from what is different, from what forces us from the comfort of the routine we find ourselves in… We become slaves to the process and lose sight of the end for what is a comfortable place to be…

A number is far from a definition of who I am… while it does contain a number of similarities the process of me is much more complicated then the combination of numbers to form a picture… It does contain an image of me that is true and accurate while also missing me on a number of key points… but that is structure… or a definition of human behavior… we can get close to what is butt we always fall short of the exact definition… No one wishes to be defined by a paragraph or a term… they strive to be who they are… and in the end they either are or they are knot… the who they wish to be… To live as some one else would have us is knot a life most of us would choose… Yet we often find ourselves living by a definition that some one conjures up… As correct as it appears on the surface there is more to hue then that definition…

Lately I have been going around in circles attempting to figure out what is up with you… and how I should react or knot… I have written… and there is long lapses where they are left unread… and then some are and some are knot… maybe they are left for another time… I am knot sure… what I am sure of is what I sense… and I will follow that sense and do what I believe is the best thing for me in respect to you… You have never truly over stood the place you have within me… even though I have written you a thousand times you seem to miss the point… I am a very simple person and I love you effortlessly… but I do have needs that go beyond what I can deal with at times… I some times sense like now that you wish me to disappear… I have tried that and it doesn’t work for me… I wish you would just say what is on your mind… but that is knot your way and I am left to put the pieces together on my own… Let me gather them to me… over the past six months you have stopped writing… stopped talking and except for one nocturnal visit have not even visited in that sense… You have surrounded yourself with a protection that keeps me at arms length… when I question you I get silence or the explanation that you are busy changing your life… moving… new job… schooling… I wish you believed I could celebrate those things with you… I am two much of a reminder of other things… Well that is my fate…

Freely I will admit that I am knot the easiest person to be friends with… I write a great deal… I place demands on ones time and I guess there is an expectation about me that some thing will come in return… I am some what of a bore always writing about how I miss you and wish to hear from you and wanting to know what is going on in your life… Must suck that some one half a world away cares about you… but then I never do things the easy way… I suspect that over time you have wished me to fade into the shadows… I am rather odd in the respect that I will wander as I see fit… Some thing tells me that I have to stay close enough to be touched when you need me but far enough away to knot interfere with you… Just a sense about me… comes from being pushed hard… the two by four usually wakes me up… I am dense you over stand and it does take a few punches before the wake up call is heard… but I hear it now and I am sitting here wondering before I go what the fuck…? I have Shirley missed some thing… that being in my own head more then outside of it… I am afraid… but then I am used to walking in places for the first time…

The circle comes round once more and I have to choose each day how I will use what is presented to me… I believe that in time I will over stand but for now it is difficult for me… Caring for some one is suppose to be easy and make one feel wonderful… lately it has ouched more then it should… pay back for feeling… for having wishes and dreams… so it goes… I make no excuses for being me… for caring… for loving as I do… I freely admit that I am who I am and take me for what I am… or leave me for what I am… as the facts may be… In the end there is only who we let in… the others are just left standing at the door…

Here I am going over what all these pieces mean… what they hold… what picture will unfold before my heart mind and soul… I have my suspicions… and my hopes… I am full of hope as you know… as I am of faith… I am very proud of you and I will support you in all that you do… I will do so as loudly or as quietly as I am allowed to… of late it is the quiet cheering that you wish for… I was never very good about being quiet… maybe this is some thing I need to learn… to spend some time in the lodge in sweat full prayer to find the vision of my quest…

I think therefore I am has been quoted and spoken about… above or below there is the perfection of loving some one so deeply that you allow them to do what is in their heart… I can accept that… I do accept that as being the path I will take… and on that note I will bid you adieu for now it is time to go due as I see fit… for there are times to write and times to sit in soul filled solitude… there are times to dance and times to sit in silence enjoying the pleasure of ones company… I need to float a bit on the waves of change and get my bearings once more…

Where does one go when they are gone…? Across the void of time into a some place other then here in this moment now… They are off gathering themselves up… taking time to get themselves in order… or to get their affairs in order… Personally I liked that expression for it speaks of intrigue… Getting ones affairs in order… as if we all have affairs and have to put them in some sort of logical order… to keep track of what we did with whom and when… I find a great deal of humor in that… as in affairs of the heart… What other kinds of affairs are there…? I guess one could have an affair of the mind… and certainly one can have affairs of the soul then to complicate matters… but it is the ones of the heart we tend to act on… due to the closeness of the physical… One heart to the other sew to speak… What of these affairs of the heart…? Why are they so wonderful and dangerous to us…? What causes us to desire them and then to cool off on them so readily…? Where do they go when they are gone…? The time is right and we leave behind the rest of times to share with those we find along the way… but what of those that seem to be silent in the night…? Where have they gone to now that they are gone…? A question I ask a lot lately… strange for maybe it is me or the times of my life… or the passage of time from the season to the cold of winter’s grip…? All wonders or questions fall silent in the cold air… for it is difficult to breathe and warmth is easily lost in the silence of conversation…

Thought about it I have… a lot at times it consumes me… held the thought so close in mind that it has occupied me heart and soul for periods of time… The though of it making me wonder… there is desire in it… passion in the thought alone… The mind was willing once as was the heart and the soul… the separation of the physical prevented the connection from growing… and when fate allowed us an opportunity the mind of one screamed loudly and was heard and now that lingers in the mind as a failure… as a sign of the love that is knot… when it is probably more the reverse…

Thought is always given to words we share… my thought process lingers on many avenues along the way… I stop to consider each and every possibility… I wonder some times how I mange to get past it all… Butt then I have learned to measure the speed in witch I process the information present…

The ways we choose become normal for us… the ways we walk are our normal roads… If I am who I am then I can only be the best that I can… and there fore I am the normal person I am… If that is not the perfect model of normalcy that others picture then so be that as it may… I have learned that to be one self means to be true to the patterns we wish to live within… We create our own structure our own limitations if you wish and then should remain as long as they provide wonder and joy… for as long as we stir the magic within those structures have a purpose in tickling our imagination… That is the place of my normal presence… and it is there that I reside…

The laps of my feet are awash in thoughts sent form one side to the other… There is a dream that I have of times past and present… one that sees hue as the spirit within shining in colors of the rainbow… There are times when the dance is all there needs to be and times when the Rose is the prettiest and gentlest of flowers… Each has a need to dance their dance and mine while most of the time requires a soul to dance with there are times when know soul will dance with me… or to put it another way… partners change in mid stream… I am bathed in the thoughts we share… I sense the delight… the joy… the desire and passion that stirs within you… The Rose is in full bloom once more… awakened from the long winter’s time of her life to seize the light with both hands… grasping the wonder of her in the process… You are a most special lady… one of few who is connected to the past with a present that is shared openly and happily… You over stand the gift of hue and the process of sharing it… You also know that Godde is within… experiencing the glow of another… My feet lap in the delights that fill the void… the thoughts of you bring ecstasy… a wave of emotions that like the fat man in the bath tub make me moan… and sigh deeply… My hand has been touched by a Rose and forever will it remember that one dance and that one smile… it is the dance I still dance and the smile I still wear…

A wish is a dream your heart makes and each one finds its way to the ears, the mind and the heart of the one we send it to… Each sends their light to the other to shine in the darkness of time… Each holds a little bit of the some thing that each needs, wants, desires… a feeding of the passion that will bare fruit in time… Each is a gift one to the other from the pasts of their life times… a reconnection in life to spirit away the darker sides of things when one feels afraid or tired or lost in the mixture of emotions that is life… You are a path finder and will see in me the Elf as I see in you… a woman of great presence… of a gentleness and power that has magic and a passion for life… We share some of the same loves… of woods and water and trees and soft grass that we tread so lightly on it is as if we are not there… but above it all watching… Some day we may meet… some day we may find a moment in the wilds of your land or mine… those are dreams of some days yet to be… and those wishes are not so perfect as the ones that are playing out in the here and now for you… The smile that never ceases the desire that is lit inside you and the flame that burns… you are shinning… shimmering and glowing… the feel of that reaches out across the space and time between us and delights me…

The words seem so easy… you are the gift… how does one share of who they are with many…? By dancing the dance they have learned along the way… by staying true to the way they are on… by being the person they know they should be… by seeking the Godde within themselves and then seeing The Godde within each and every one… It is a very spiritual place we share where the Rose blooms divinely in multiple colors… of red, white, light blue and yellow… a shade of wonder for each shade of wonder she is… It was always easy to follow the Rose though any forest or field for her scent was on the breeze… and her beauty shown in the darkness of any knight’s heart…

The challenge is in stepping away from a style of writing that I am most comfortable with. I am used to a very free form of writing that goes in many directions at one time. I am painting a picture when I write and I work on what strikes my eye at the moment. When I am writing to you I have to step away from the picture and concentrate on each thought one at a time. It is the way I used to do things, very logical and structured. It is good to sharpen ones old skills and to be flexible enough to adapt to those that read what we write.

Beauty is what one sees in the midst of all the other distractions… One can grasp hold of what strikes their eye and follow the delight until it rests within them… and seeing that they are challenged to share the gift they are with those around them in a positive and wondrous way… Seek the Godde within and you will be amazed at what you find…

We are all products of where we have been… The reason we are who we are is because we were born… we had parents and we went to school… and if were really lucky our parents gave us religion and politics… You are a product of the environment from witch you were raised… Yet I am asking you to step out of that and feel free… I over stand that it will take time to slowly uncover the person you are… and at the same time uncover the person I am in the light of your mind…

My parents were people who were easy to be with but knot very affectionate with each other in our presence… I tend to be very much so with my children… and with my wife… I some times think I embarrass them… so be it… a hug is what parents should do for their children… nothing like a warm set of arms to hold you… It is amazing how our parents could screw up our ideas of things and yet we are free to change if we wish to do so… and some times it is easy to let go of those learned ways and some times it is difficult to set them free for they have helped us be who we are and without them what will we be? In many ways I have those things taught me and I use them often… but there are some that I have placed behind me now for they were ones that I learned my l4sson with and find them use less in my present life… That is the distinction that needs to be made… to keep what is use filled and to leave behind what no longer serves a use filled purpose…

I also believe it is proper to allow time when words are difficult… in times of hurt or pain it is best to let them sit until one can do what is in their heart to do… I can be quite direct myself and to the point and sometimes a bit sharp… I usually end up regretting the words spoken in those moments… Yesterday I was not in a great mood for some reason I was indifferent… I put off responding to all of my e-mail until today… when I am in a better mood… I want to be able to grasp the proper response… some times emotions get the best of us… and some times our emotions are the best of us… knowing the difference is once more important…

A god diet and exercise will do wonders for the mind as well as the soul of a person… There is nothing like a walk on a morning… or at the end of a long day to free the mind and clear out the professional you before dealing with ones family… where they wish only to be surrounded by the personal hue… Walking that fine line is the challenge we all face…

It is knot a gift to see the beauty in every day… these are things we sort for and our taught to us… we learn to look as we do for what is wrong by how we were instructed in our lives… Mostly the things we did wrong are pointed out… instead of the things we did right so we learn to sort for what is wrong… and that mind set filters into our lives… when we turn it over and see what is right we open our minds to the opposite side of the equation…

More sense is made of the structure of a mathematical equation then one would believe is happening in an open conversation… yet there is math being used… complex equations for the use of words and the structures we employ… it is possible to find the wonder in math for it is the basis of all existence… or I should say that all existence can be explained using math… the transient altering effects of other substances is knot use full… the mind likes is the same yet it learns from what is different…

Our world is a mathematicians love child… a complex series of alternatives and ideas layered one upon the other… each one having numerous variables and inconsistent constants… a different set for each situation…

We get to be who we are by being who we are… it sounds strange when we read it… but we are gifts one to each other… and when we share we give a little bit of our selves… that allows for a take and a give on the other side of the equation… a formula is born and begins to take shape… from this shape will divide and move from one side to the other shapes and sizes of things… images… feelings… that begin to form a picture and then to fill in the missing peaces… until the image is completed in time… Sooner or later the wonder of hue will shine… and you will see what I see…

An action creates a reaction that is acted upon and sets in motion a series of events… From these events a view is painted across the landscape of time… Our part in this is as the artist… the creator who builds an image ones stroke at a time… one color at a time… until mixture and movement create the desired effects over time… Stay true to the dream and the wish for tomorrow will be full filled in the delight of what you now know…

A flooded in box… one for each day minus one… a day when I could knot write with a pure heart… a day when the effects of time did me in and I was indifferent and angry at the world at large and small… best to sit in quiet solitude then to open ones mind when in that sort of state… I set out on this with a quest to see if I could imagine a world better then the one I was in and succeeded… the sin was to knot have seen it before… the dream still lingers in my mind… a wistful delight to my imagination… I worry about the hue that travels back and forth in my mind… I am satisfied with what I get and let the dreams filter in all directions… Some day the wish will come true I am sure enough to be unsure… and in time that possibility will unfold… I may be old and unable to get out of my own way by then butt then that is the humor of the Goddes… I would love to sit and talk with you when you have the time… maybe some time soon… hope fully…

There is a certain amount of indifference in the world… a sense that no matter what we do little or know change will come of it… Sew we sit and watch over those close to us but ignore the over all effects… mostly the indifference is of a personal nature… we will strike the fires in another for the smallest of reasons and then just let it go without a word in the next sentence… There are times when the difference matters and times when it is best to leave it on the way side… A feel the wave of indifference sweeping over me…

Today is one of those days when I believe I could disappear off the face of the earth and know one would give a rat’s ass… I opened the files to find nothing… I looked and saw dust collecting… well knot all dust but some days there is a need for some thing… and today I found everything but what I needed to find… One of those times when there is stuff to do that is different then the stuff we wish to be doing… I have this desire… that is unsatisfied… and it makes me indifferent some times to the pulse that is around me… I am cold and shivering… the wind blows and the snow falls… I want nothing more then to curl up with some one and let the day pass me by…

The positive has pathways as does the alternative… Knot all is bright and shining… while the course a life takes will set us apart we need to see the best in what is before us… Never should we assume that all is one or another…

I have letters to write and the words just avoid me… It is knot a block of writers thoughts but a wave of indifference that weaves its presence in all that I wish to write… and I refuse to spread it around but I also know that to free myself of it I must write… In time the answers will find me…

Today I wish to be watched over and left to my own devices I would sit wrapped in a blanket of indifference and just try to ward off the cold that is deep within my bones… to warm myself with thoughts… a cup of some of my own making… a concoction of hot spices and liquids that warms the soul to the very core of ones desire… Today I wish to sit wrapped in a memory or two and let the words just flow from me… as tears if they must… as words… written or spoken… I wish I could hear your voice… I wish I could slip into a dream and awaken in your arms… just to set myself free… One of the moods of craziness that sweeps over me… Once more I have the sense of indifference… I wish some one would speak to me… reach out in the darkness of my own mind and smack me awake for this dream is knot of my liking… I will ride the wave for it is my destiny to go where they hand of fate directs me… and then to leave when the time is ripe… the times they are a changing for me as well as for those who walked this path way before… The forces of nature brew in slow circles the changes that we dream of… I make know sense some times unless you can read between the lines… and feel the passion that boils underneath… I am searching for that witch inspires me… and I come once more to your smile… your eyes and your present… the gift of you… it is here that I find solace… forgive me…

At the rate you are reading my words… you may knot get to this until the mood has long passed… I just needed a hug… and I thought of you… forgive me… for being a slight pain… you have enough to deal with and I am bothering you for a hug… just a silly mood is all… a wish to sit and talk with you… and so it goes… one of those strange days that I have… when I think of you… when I have to ask for forgiveness… for the thoughts I have of you… Today I should go off and find a nice hobbit hole to crawl into and forget… as if I could…

Gifts or skills we have challenge us… We are the gifts we seeks yet we are challenged to know how best to use them… Within each of us rests a way or peace that we find when we are at one with who we are… Often that arrives when we are using that special some thing in a productive way… How does one use such a gift as yours…? To be able to relive or walk in your minds eye the places you have been through time… to open the doorway and once more experience the times before now… A challenge in deed as well as for the mind to grasp hold of… I am guessing that it is strange to do so and knot be able to alter the past… Though altering it would change the time we are in now… Time is a human invention… it explains where we are… nothing more… it is a structure that defines now… before now and after now… we can recall the past as a way of remembering where we came from and it is a use filled place for storing of the skills we have managed to acquire along the way… now is where we are building what will be tomorrow… it is the point of challenge being put to the test so to speak… The future holds the dreams we wish for… in our minds eye we are challenged by those thoughts to be able to bring about a better place… Such is the effects of time… In the future we might be able to alter time… in some ways by dropping back in but what would we learn from that…? How much change would there be to deal with… A tidal wave… a shock wave of change that would not only alter us and our lives but the lives of every soul… I believe in walking the ways we have traveled to refresh our minds of the path we have taken… as a way of challenging the soul… to rekindle the spirit within us to recall the skills we are destined to use in this life to gain entry to the next… Use the gift you are to see and to help others to see… in time the purpose is clear…

A life is never boring… it can appear sow to those who are blind to the light within… But to those who see know life is boring at all… for in each life there is much to learn and to teach… It is true that those who wander are looking for some thing that is similar to them and when they find alternative points of view they attack them… Diversity is knot for everyone… that is the challenge of writing what we believe… we leave ourselves open for others to poke and prod us… Yet that is a good thing for it does give us alternatives to consider… If every one agreed with our opinion then it would be a rather boring place… Each life is special in the sense that there is a purpose to it… the light within us allows us to be who we are and when we are sharing of that it glows the brightest and most profoundly… You do that and for that there is much happiness… I have an alternative view of religion then yours… But I in joy reading what you write from time to time… because it is different then mine… I can always say that I do find interesting thoughts that have led me to search and find things… That for me is the point… the creation of thought that leads one to quest for more information on their own… to find out… Know life is boring… all life serves a purpose in time we see what that is… some times it is as an example of what can happen if we do… and some times as an example of what can happen if we refuse… that is free will and belief… we fall upon them as children and learn to use them over time… beliefs are power filled illusions… for they block alternatives that exist… there are many ways to seek knowledge… use them all for each holds truth…

I have noticed that people are watching over me… strange that is… since the opposite has been true for sow long now… Noticed it and now that it is apparent there is much to seize upon… I donut write much in this place as I used to… there was a time when my words would be scattered about like seeds sown in the grounds of spring… But two many memories are here for me to sit with… and they all flood back upon me in endless waves when ever I sit here and type… There are other places where the muse is… others places for the tidal waves of desire and passion… I have learned sow much that it is impossible to leave… but that learning has taught me to keep some things to myself… for the delight of me… the purpose of course was to share my thoughts… what I found of course was that very few over stood the purpose and wished only to see what they wished to see… I have been told so much over the past two weeks that my words are confusing and difficult to understand and my style is childish… that I should grow up that my ideas are for dreamers and not for reality… Interesting… thoughts each and every one of them… People search for diversity and when they truly find it they are confused by what they read… it is not comfortable to them at all… that is the point was it knot…? To find some thing different to read other then the same that you bring… I guess that while some search for difference they really wish for some of the same old wanderings… they wish for some one to give them the familiarity they crave… Never one of my strong points… I see within them the light they wish to share and I little patience for those who with hold the gift… for to me that is the purpose of sharing is it knot…? To share of what glows within… the tides will change and we will find our way as individuals… and if we are lucky enough to be aware we will share of that with those around us… Our time is what we make of it… nothing more or less… I write here what I believe or what I imagine or what I dream of or just wish to say… Some will pass by but few stay for a time other then short… for they feel some thing push or prod within them… This is not a place for sameness this is a place for diversity… for opening doorways and challenging each other… I notice that some are watching over me wondering where I have been or where I am going… since I am an illusion then I am where I need to be to form the picture required of me in your mind… Dreams are as they wish… for they are the wish of the mind of the one who wishes them… they flow from the heart into the reality of life… and from there they are used as the new edge to push forward in time… this is a place where we challenge our minds, our hearts and our souls to reach beyond the realm we are comforted in… This is knot your average every day journal… this place has magic and pulls and prods those who read it to search within for the light that glows within them… there is spirit here and sight of another kind that reaches forth into the soul of the reader and pulls them in to find the magic they have within…

Time is distorted to open the gates… to allow one to see the past… the future that is possible based on the current set of probabilities… some times the scene changes as we approach and some times it remains nearly the same for free will allows for choice up until the now of time is played out and the effect is rippled forward… If I could turn back the pages of time I would change a thing or two… for I have ouched people I should knot have… I have placed hurt upon souls that deserved better from me… it shows that I am human… while at times I appear knot to be… butt then again gig mints and illusions are knot suppose to feel… are they…? They are suppose to do as the dreamer wishes of them and when faced with the reality they fall far short of it… I learned never to be that again… to stay the illusion behind the wall of another’s imagination… it is there that the magic I weave holds the truth for them and they can best deal with what is before them… I have noticed those who watch over me… and I have enjoyed the prospects of sitting with them in time… when will time distort the memories I am unsure but they will for time does that with a little help from ones imagination… Silly of me to wonder… for time is the avenue we all take and distort it we all do… at some point remembering the past as humorous when it was far from that when we lived it… A dream we dreamed so long ago we can hardly remember it at all… more of a feeling really… a vibe within that fires up the imagination to run wild and free… a rainbow of interest or color… the change is but one of many… use the rainbow she said and the mind will follow… and so it goes…

At some point you will take the time to read all that is sent you and realize that most of it is a warm blanket of thoughts that wraps about you and wishes to keep you safe… from this distance it is the one thought that I can send out and know it will find its place… for the earth is a magical conduit for thoughts of love that rests in ones heart… what ever you ask of the earth in love will be granted in kind…

Inspired are we to do what we do… Some inspirations are those that move us to feel so deeply that we are carried forth above and beyond our capabilities or what we perceive as our limitations… The combination of time, place and motivation bring into play power filled magic that inspires us to be more then we realize… What we hide from others… hide about ourselves… about our lives… families… what we feel concerned about… what we forget and push to the deepest part of who we are pushes back at times… We can never be what we are knot only what we are motivated to be… That motivation fills us… Each life has a story within the story that others see before them… Listening to the words each brings forth reveals a small part… the rest is spoken by the actions they take each day… If I could do over I would do over some things and let the wings of the butterfly change the landscape a bit… but mostly I would do a better job at being who I am… by doing what I have done with more delight then I did the first of times… When children play they get to have do overs when the balance of things are not fair… In life as in games it is fair to allow for such quests… a chance to do what we missed doing the first time around…

We can read and we can feel deeply… the unfairness of life some times is the inspiration for us all to be better people… to learn from the experience of another and the foolishness of those who want change by destroying the lives of another… Our quest from that moment on is to rebuild a world more open… more resourceful… more compassionate… more loving… The quest is one of living beyond the pain of the moment to live immersed in the joy of life…

One can be described by the books we color in… The water colors… the pastels… the oils… the pencils… the crayons we use to paint the rainbows of our lives… One can be devastated by the removal of such things suddenly and without warning we are left to our own imagination to color as the rainbow inside us senses… One such path eludes us at times only to drop in at the proper moment in time… We can crawl forth or slide down or make a contribution to the laughter as we seize the effect of each expression… One can be described by what is on the surface that others see… but there is more to an illusion then the colors of the books it is the crayons they use…

Dawn has arrived to awaken the day before me… The house is filled with activity of family… they are up with me and wandering the house… Unusual… The house is mine on a normal weekend until the middle hours of the morning… They prefer sleep to awareness on Saturdays… and I use this time to create my own world of magic… A change is nice to sit in and deal with as I begin the process of thought… Dawn has arrived as cold as the previous one… the thought of more months… of awakening to the cold floor… of being able to sit before my keyboard and find a moment to write… But I have noticed the flow is slower of late and the words that I receive are ones of confusion more then any thing else… maybe it is me being rather odd… for I have been odd for a time… or that the hand of change is directing me to some place I wish knot to go… maybe it is just the mood I am in or knot in that I should be in or knot…? Maybe it is time to just let it be once more and close my mind to questions from myself and others and let the pallet before me open up to seize upon the colors of my own rainbow and use the endless rainbow to color for a time in the book of my own life… Dawn has arrived the rainbow of whites filled… each a slightly varied shade… and within that shade of white to gray… there is an entire spectrum of wonder that can be explored… we need only seize upon the adventure…

In the most unusual ways we are called to speak or to sit… in the between times we are confused as to what to do will mean a lot more then it actual does… that space in between is chilling to the bones… every ones eyes seem to be on us… and all are awaiting our next utterance… daylight come and we want to go home… look I have done my work… there is a pile of words I have written… daylight come and I wish to go home… to see the split in the day and the night… the dawn opens the veil between them allowing us to have a bit of each… some words for the wiser of us… and some for the dense mind that I have… difficult to see beyond my own bull some times… it is a world of change and I am riding one after another… dawn stands with me alerting me to the possibilities that are endlessly stretched before me… I could use a nice glass of some thing warm to throw off the chill of the morning air… Its frickin freezing in here Mr. Bigglesworth… I feel like a cartoon character… dressed in layers of ideas that are humorous and at the same time pointed… or is that pointed humor…? I am unsure enough to be sure about nothing… a complex person… very at times with many layers like an onion… or sorts… red or white… or maybe yellow or is that Spanish flavored ones that tinge the taste buds with anticipation of a taste forthcoming… the cold winds of change blow… another storm on the horizon… another brisk wind to cover the landscape with a blanket of ice and snow… I’ll trade with a warmer climate and in time I suspect I really will…

A complex person I have become… placing one simplicity upon the other until the layers like an onion exist… a complex person fucked up in many ways… in attempting to be simple I have become humorous… A fool on the hill that watches day and night… and night into day arrives and I sit here wondering if the words I write are ever read in the delight of witch I write them…? Does the joy of writing pop out at the reader…? Do they…? I am mystified… lost in the creation process and to an extent blind to the joy that springs forth in me… Natural is the dark side in me as is the lighter side of my actions… I can dance the dance with a hand in my pants… write them a check so I can go on my way… dance with me… the dance your heart wishes to dance and let the world say what they will for today I am free at last to dance… shaking off the blanket of wintry cold is a challenge for it is cold beyond the temperature… It is the cold that chills the soul to its very core… Yet I am warmed by an illusion that walks with me… silly of me to create an illusion of such perfection… or is it a madness of the mind that allows me such range… I can do what I wish in my mind and still be some place else in tire lee aware of what I am doing… a luxury of being me… and of you… a share magic is that… a place to go within the earth… the sky… the air that is breathed into you with each breath you take… a series of flashes of delight that filters from the tips of your toes to the tops of your little pointed ears… and mine tingle just the same… just like the birds promised… just like the earth four told… just like she spoke… one of each is enough to create… two is a much two power filled illusion… each fills a void with delight… each heats up the other and each shares a bit of some thing with the other… the mixture is power filled emotions and delight… A dance to dance the dance of routine away… A complexity of mind, heart and spirit… an emotional tidal wave to ride on… high as the water will carry you or eye can sea the time before and after… what is to be will be as we write the events in our minds… do you still wish for it…? If you still do then it is possible… it is only when we give up the wish or the dream that it dies… or becomes dormant within… Take it higher and higher still in the rambling thoughts we are lost as two lovers are lost in the combination of mind body and soul… to be come one would challenge the worlds idea of who we are… butt some times we must get what we want as well as what we need… it can’t all be just work work work… there has to be some play play play mixed into the dazes that are to follow and into the night I ride… I do wish to ride the wave of delight across the seas… upon the image that washes over me in this tidal wave of pleasure…

There goes that fat man in the bath tub moaning once more… a trick for little feat… to walk upon the floors above and listen as the whispers are rumored about… The pretty girls are all around wanting a peace of the mind or is that the body of he who cannot be named… or they shall know more… of the false pretenses that live within a person of such passion… The fat man sings… the blues of his life times as he sits in the warm waters of his own making… hear him moan out the words… A nice hot tub calls…

Is there such a thing as being “normal” or is “normal” defined as what the majority of people do in a particular situation…? I define myself as common more then “normal”… I shy away from the bright lights to seek solace in the shadows… to find wonder in the quiet times… I am a person of simple means and some would say a simple mind… There are those that believe me to be what I am knot and others that believe they know who or what I am… Each has their own definition of “normal” for themselves and for me… Yet neither defines or categories me or them for that matter… It just happens to be what they believe themselves to be at that moment… “normal” is what we perceive… as being the action or reaction of the common person… it is in know way real… for each reacts according to their own frame of reference… I am as “normal” as the next guy is abnormal… in ways I will never over stand there is a delight in being held outside the structure of “normal”… it allows me a great range of freedom of expression…

Lately there seems to be nothing but words of what others dislike about me… your words are to confusing… or they make know sense to me… I guess those criticisms are use full in some ways… The thing is since I began writing here I have used this style of expression… this is my art form… a mode of self-expression that allows me to be who I am without being forced into some structure that others find “normal” and feel comfortable reading… I do some times forget that others read this stuff on occasion… Knot a lot but some times… and they will read the start and get lost in the ramblings of my mind… They may see it as the ranting of a loony… That does knot deter me from being me… from using this medium as a way to speak my mind… In the end what I leave here is more about what I didn’t write then what I did… In the course of a couple of years there is an endless ebb and flow of the tides of my moods… If some one sits and reads it they will know some thing of me… at the same time they will know that I am far from “normal” in the ideas I have… the method of expressing them and the ideals I use in my life… Go figure…

Each set of music sends a message… a combination of styles says that there is diversity in the tastes of the listener… The range to witch one can stretch… opens avenues in directions that may be use filled at some time in the future… Each expression of “normal” music… the songs of times past… the music of religions ideals… of working… of playing… of childhood memories… of teenage love… of the love that lasts a life time… the type that soothes the mind and rests the soul… In peace we gain the high tides through the low times… to know the difference one has to walk in both places… one wave crashes while another glides… both bring and take the sands of time… one does it without notice while the other is more dramatic…

If I was a song writer… I would write romantic songs… If I was a writer I would write… fantasy novels… If I was a newspaper reporter I would write about the unusual… occurrences that inspire the mind… Each of us has a particular gift… for wishing beyond what we do every day… In the wild nights… the thoughts are given license to play with our imagination… wouldn’t it be nice…?

Some of my words get lost in the translation of my thoughts… Some times I am the Madman that sits across the water… waiting for my sight to clear or the mist to rise up and away… I sit here on the sands of this shore wondering out loud to the four winds… I still ask why you know… I do and I get answers… I get answers now that make know sense at first… but I still ask why out loud in the darkness of my mind… I wonder on some days if I will survive the day… for sleep ignored me that night… I wander around a lot of the time in a trance of happiness… In a trance of joy… in a trance of love… I was confused by those things for a long time… I am so far away from this person I care for… and yet she feels this close to me… like she is a part of my being… Some of what I write gets confused in the translation… on the one hand I have a deep love and passion for this person… and on the other I have an even deeper desire and respect… these things appear to be similar butt in reality they conflict at times… I have found a way to love as deeply as a man can love… while knowing that what I wish for takes that witch I love away from me… to hold one must set free those they love to go their own way and find their own place… each of us to our own path… I miss the companionship we share on this path but I know in my heart as I have always known that your path is going to require long journeys at a distance from me… I celebrate the passion that I have and the love that is there inside me… Wisdom tells me that when one loves in the purest sense they wish for what the others wishes… knot for what they want… in essence freeing the power of their magic to grant the others wish…

My nature has been to go along and let the dream unfold around me… that is the way I wish to take… I am a passive person… allowing things to happen around me while influencing those as little as possible… all along I know that I do influence things… the fact of my presence influences thought… my existence generates flux… my dreams and wishes cause shock waves at times… ripples all the time… these influence others… I have never hidden my desire… my passion… my emotions… once set free to roam they have had a wondrous time helping me be me… you know the depths of me… having taken the vortex all the way down and back… For me you are the peace that made me complete… that helped me to put the puzzle of me together… To you I am just another piece… maybe a special piece but knot the piece… As much as I wished at times to be… fate tells me that is a different path…

I am getting lost in this ramble… lost in the meaning of the words… some of my words get lost in the translation… of what I am feeling into an expression that I can write on paper and send to you… I stopped for a time telling you how much I worry about you… how much I watch over you… how much I think about you… I stopped telling you about the desire and the passion and the jealousy… the need and the want taking me to places that I should never go… I forgot that this is not about me… that it is about you… that my place was to aid my life by extending my life to yours… in the sharing of me with you… the being of one with you the sharing of our magic transformed me into the messenger that I am… I have little or know meaning as one… there fore I am always one of another… the lines of translation does not mean that two become one… but that two combined open the doors for the one to over stand… and find what they seek… The key is what one feels in their heart when they think of the other and I feel what I cannot express… feelings of love, compassion, warmth… respect… passion… I get confused at times and the purity gets mixed with the wrong kind of lust… In the end… you over stand… for in your presence my magic is pure white always… the purest variety that there is… Know matter what you are able to see the pure me behind the bull shit… and I love and respect you for that… a lesser person would have set me free some time ago… Some how the ties that bind us just will knot allow me to go… this time my dear I will see you though to the other side… I am sure enough to be unsure about that… but I am willing to take the path that rises up to me and walk it happily…

Today I got notes from people who came to say they could knot stay that hello they must be going… I am confused by what you write and how you talk… they wish me to be “normal”… I used to be what was considered “normal”… remember that…? I could shit diamonds… I was so “normal”… now I am a loony but at least I am a happy loony…

I miss sitting on the edge of the water and talking to hue and having the warm air wraps it s hands about me while we sit on a rock in the middle of the cool waters of time… I will I suspect wander into your mind or across it at times… when I do I hope that it brings a smile to your lips or a tear of pure joy to your eyes… this is what usually happens to me… I sit here and I spy you out of the corner of my eye and I feel the sentiment rise in me in the form of a tear that rolls down my cheek… care full knot to unleash the flood gates I am… in your presence I suspect I would flood you soaking your being with my tears of the purest joy and admiration…

There is a need inside me to comment on your changes and I find them wonder filled… There is this feeling inside me that speaks to you following your heart once more… what ever decision you choose will be full filling for your mind, heart and soul… This is some thing you have thought out and I know it will lead to doing what is your destiny to do…

I have to let you go… I have stolen enough of your day…

Every so often a word can open the flood gates of emotions… there are times when we wish to feed the silence with silence of our own… then there are times when one should poke the silence with a word or two… to test to see if the air waves back… Often in life it is easier to write in third person then in first person… easier to see and feel what another should do then to see and feel what the first person or I should… We have opportunity to reach beyond ourselves yet we have this barrier that holds us in… it is invisible to the eye, to the touch… butt there it is… a wall of immeasurable strength… that disappears once one knows the passage though it… I have often started to write and even written long letters that I ended up never sending… I learned to hold my tongue by writing it out before hand and then the desire to speak my mind left me… if it still simmered and boiled I knew I had to do some thing more… butt in most cases the desire faded… Later I learned that these letters had a place in the some where of time… and could be used at future times to fill the void in what I was learning about me… Each of us has a lesson to teach and when we do it perfectly the others learn effortlessly… The tougher lessons of life are there because we missed the easy ones or forgot them… I am amazed at what I have forgotten to ask… Words extended some times can be just what is needed to ease ones mind or to open the gate so that the cat is out of the bag… as if some one wood put a cat in a bag to begin with… In food yes but a bag…? Never…

In the here and now one can step back and read the path that others have chosen to walk… or an expression of the path they have chosen to walk… A slow stroll allows one the opportunity to experience the joy in going along the highway… and watching the hectic pace slip away into the distance as you step further and further on the rode less traveled… Stopping to rest along the way you sit with a soul or two and take the time to get to know them as they get to know you… finding similarities and unique qualities you share an interest in diversity and explore the possibilities of learning from them as they explore the edges of your mind… each pulling a peace from the other… each finding the fruit of the tree they savor… each planting a seed within the other that will bear fruit over and over time into the ages yet to be… as you sit and stare at the stars at night each one is a story to tell of life… of brilliant potential and then of fading light over time… each one filling the void in the darkness and giving a child… a place to wish upon so that more wishes and dreams can find a place…

Know One is ever there when it is my turn… I turn to sit and the landscape falls silent… the void surrounds me with the darkness of silence and I fall into it to find my peace… the one that makes me whole… for it is the one that I seek to hold me in the solitude it is her voice that shakes me awake in the morning and her whispers that lull me to sleep each night… She is that dream that all people have that holds them know matter what they do or say… Know One comes with me here except for those who over stand the silence that ouches… the solitude of one… alone in the void wondering and then wandering about in search of the light that will bring them back… Know one is always with me there traveling into the darkness to sit with me in silence and feel the edge of the sword slip easily into me piecing the sides and twisting with each turn… I sit and I take my place along the edge in silence and each day that passes another twist… another turn of the knife that rests in me… This silence grows some times like the cancer and some times like the medicine… but grow it does… Wrapping me once more in the coverings of the shadows each day a little bit more until I fade completely into memory is all… Know one is ever there when it is my turn and we can sit in the silence and take our turns with the silence that surrounds us in solitude and peace…

Nice knot to know reality as anything other then a concept that I can accept or knot… Nice to be able to appreciate the contrasts that exist in discussions… Some times my words confuse she said and they are lyrical and difficult to understand and that frustrates the reader who speaks knot only this language but two others… I am confused… for what is knot diversity that was searched for…? Maybe it is the day or the cycle of the moon…? Who knows…

We weave webs of interest… ones that we hope to entrap our readers with… one that we hope hold the attention to those who stop by… If you came in search of the normal writings of the average person I must apologize for you have knot found it here in the pages of this entry… or in the volumes of words I have written as I sit here I wonder… We all have the skill to write yet so few of us are writers… the same is true of all artistic expression… we all have the talent that we never cultivate… The time is here in the now to stir the pot a bit and add some spices to the contents to open up the possibilities…

Small expressions of my mind follow a pattern and then after some time they wander off in all directions… Is this “normal”…? To go back and forth oscillating racing from one extreme to the other one pole to the next… touching all aspects to find one back in the saddle once more freed of the burdens that limited the sight needed to see beyond the borders of ones cubicle of life they are locked into…

A comment on “Anger is only one letter short of Danger”… A nice little expression to warn one of the potential that exists when one feels anger… anger comes from fear… from aggression… from being frustrated… while some will take the path of frustration to a desire to learn more and control it with a passion for knowledge some will take the frustration down the path of aggression and push for things they are knot capable of… A warning is danger but a more important one is frustration and to realize in it is the cross road of erasing the fear with knowledge or feeding it with the anger and aggression…

There are many ways to convey a sense of something… directly or indirectly the message gets across and some times the method is as important as the message… one can deliver a truth and do it in a way that others refuse to accept it… they refuse the truth because of the messenger… since truth itself at times is all about what one believes delivery is a part of what must be considered… I am about being who I am… and in that respect I do write what I feel at the moment so that you get a sense of me… who I am… I am very different then you are… and in some ways we are similar… I enjoy that… The indirect questioning of you allows you to feel free to write to me about what you wish… I am setting before you an open slate… an opportunity to write about what ever you wish to write about… I do knot judge or comment directly on what you write about… but indirectly I am giving you my perspective… If you read over the letters I have sent they are filled with encouragement to do what your heart tells you… to follow your dreams… to see change as an opportunity… to smile in the face of what life places before you… I wish for you to be as open as you desire without me asking this or that… It is a different way… I will admit that… it can appear to be a dry area to walk in but on the other hand it does allow you to write about what ever you wish without limitation… I am far from indifferent to your opinion… I am listening to you and forming a picture… I am a patient person and will take my time in getting to the place I need to be when required… Contrary to what you wrote I am knot asking you to use the same “way” I took… that wood mean you would have to suffer immeasurable… my aware nest came from a physical ailment brought on by being a supreme ass whole for thirty some on years… What I am writing about is you finding the way that suits you the best… the way you choose today is the best of ways for you and from this will lead to a tomorrow that is where you need to be…

I am knot about setting a structure for any one at all… I am about challenging others to break free of the limitations they place upon them selves… I am about challenging beliefs that speak of anything other them happiness… I am a dreamer… that is counter to what a lot of people choose… If I was there with you I would look you in the eye and say that what is important is to feel worthy of what you have… to feel proud of the things you do and how you do them… That change is not the end but the beginning of the adventure… that if you search for the good in things you will find it… A feeling of being tired is an indication that you have exhausted the energy within… Did you do it by extending happiness and joy? Or was it used up protecting yourself from the drudgery of the day? I am about wrapping people in what can be better and getting them to believe in highs as spiritual places they can reach daily… and stay there…

You are sad for this change was not some thing you desired… Some times we get what we need… knot what we want or wish for… and it is knot the time you have that is important… it is what you do with the time you have that is…

I believe in dancing the blues away… metaphorically speaking… unless of course you can do so without feeling stupid… then by all means do it physically… what ever it takes to get another to open their eyes to the possibilities that exist… Some times it is buy the use of ambiguity… some times it is by using direct words or actions… some times I use music… some times music uses me… I stress the artist within to come out… I wish for you to grasp hold of a truth that resides in you and go with it… I find the words we share diverse and interesting… for we exist on opposite sides of the equation… I am knot searching for sameness or for a pattern you can use to be like me… Good Godde we don’t need another ass whole like me around… one is enough… believe me… what we need is people who risk going against the grain of life and seeing beauty in the everyday… I see wonder inside you and beauty… you hide that and I believe that should be shared… Yes I am a bit of a loony at times… and I donut speak in clear precise language… I use ambiguity to hope fully bring a smile to your face… you are much prettier when you smile… aren’t we all…?

If you are having difficulty finding words to encourage you… then how is any one else going to… You are a good person… you have a wonderful relationship with your daughter… you are a hard working woman and from what I can gather you do a complete and professional job… You are a reader a writer… a person of diverse knowledge that you use… My Godde woman you are an art form… a jewel… But you can’t see it in yourself… shame on you… (I am saying that jokingly)… You listen to music and play… do you realize how wonderful that is…? Know that is the point you donut sea… And even the ambiguity confuse you and you are blind to the donut sea or a sea made of donuts of all kinds… I like Jelly ones myself… but then our Presidents are known to call themselves that when in Germany…

What you have here each time you sit down is an open forum to paint what ever picture you choose…

And so it goes… The Rose blooms and grows away… my place was not to be with you as much as to push you away… toward the limitless places you are capable of reaching… I am a fig mint because I have know existence except to push or prod a reaction… I sit and listen to the far reaches of universe and let the hand of fate guide me to connect to one or another of those people who I am in need of… and in the course of sharing space they become aware of themselves… in a new and different light then I am blessed to have known them for a time… and so it goes on once more the path opens… a conduit opens so the magic of one interacts with that of another… and they real eyes that they were never alone… they just were knot seeking out the ones who could provide what they wished for… and then suddenly there is clarity for a moment and the paths diverge… and they go off to find what they know exists for them… the journey being necessary to prove the point… that they have what they wish for close to home… A connection exists and will for ever and always for you are the path finder… the one who treads before others… the one who finds ways so that others may follow… you are a teacher… a guide… some times the spark that ignites desire and passion and some times the flame that burns bright in the darkness… The Rose is the flower that defines me… and a perfect name for a person such as hue…

In the end of time it will be me… as it was in the beginning of time… I exist for a reason… I suspect we all do… but what that is we search for… and if we are lucky enough to know or catch a glimpse of the gift we are then we are truly blessed… My eyes may fail me one day… as may my mind… but my heart and soul will always be… I was destined to be some one who connects to others in ways that open doorways for them… the combination of energies or magic influences the universe in some way… and doors open… doors to possibilities or opportunities… to the magic that burns within each one of us… The gift of shared being… I am sitting with an image of you having a conversation and wondering if you will get the chance to write some time this week… You are still in awe of the magic you have… of the wonder of being who you are… I am smiling for while I am missing you a great deal I know that it is what it should be… I am very proud of my friend… very proud in deed as well as in mind… I wish I could hug you and tell you that… I will do so in the wonder of my imagination and send it across space and time…

I realized that once more I got caught in the web of jealousy… of missing you and wanting a piece of your time… forgetting that the time is yours knot mine… I have know right to demand anything of you… The fact that you even speak to me is amazing considering what an ass I have been at times… It is that easy after all… but on the other hand I have been I think a good friend… as you have been to me… some times lost but always found… You are growing as I am… and while I dream… you are awake… the tide of change is rising and there is nothing either one of us can do to stop that… You are a part of my dreams have been since time began… You sat with me and held me as no one else has ever done… the tears flowed so easily… I was knot ashamed of them in your presence… You may or may knot over stand the depths of my soul when it comes to you… In some ways I have never been able to define it with words or expressions of wonder… In the end of time it will be me… as it was in the beginning… I found you once more… and I have ouched with life since that point in time… I have never been as alive as I am today… funny how that is… She speaks to me some times and I listen to her voice for it reminds me of a time… simply perfect is she…

I will for a time speak to you in endless waves of wonder and surround you with a glow that slips inside your being… you may sense a bit of the warmth build for I wish you to experience the glow that warms me each day when I sit here thinking of you… While the time ticks away… This shared moment is what I give to you… each day one small island that fires up the mind, the body and the soul and speaks to your magic with mine… You are a gift that I cherish… I hope I am one thousand the friend to you that you are to me… You should be proud of the changes you helped me reach… and the person I have become because of you…

I have learned it is knot what you know it is what you are willing to share… That age is not a sign of maturity… nor is youth a sign of immaturity… how one deals with responsibility is… I have learned that when we search for who we are or our “gift” as some will call it… we will find it within… butt we needed the adventure to prove it to ourselves… I have learned that adult content is mostly a way to say we are just being kids once more… I have learned that politics and religion are just more ways to control thought… I have learned that we are all artists… I have learned to never listen to some one who accepts limitations… as a way of life… I have learned to live wishes and to create dreams worth having… I have learned to grasp hold of opportunity when she knocks… I have learned the true definition of a friend… I have learned that white is not always white and black knot always black… I have learned that what lies in between is mostly just that… I have learned that gray areas are really very interesting… I have learned that love finds us even when we donut wish it to…

The picture changes and the new perspective is alluring… nothing has happened… to alter the view except the pane is no longer frosted or slanted… a reflection of hue… the path your mind takes lets you accept the thoughts as being real and reacting… to them as real when they were fig mints of ones own imagination… Well to be honest I know a lot about being a fig mint from a particular point it has a power filled ability or magic to enlighten a soul and generate fires when the flames grow dim… the converse is also true… to the down side butt and that is a nice butt we should concentrate on the nice butt view instead of the other butt view… now I am a person who in joys a good butt view as I am sure you know there is nothing like that to be held in ones imagination… butt that is the point of imagination to use it to delight the mind heart and soul… a perspective changes and the heart skips a beat or two and we smile deeply… a sigh escapes our lips and we dream on the wondrous side of magical times… a moment in time to create a memory worth keeping…

A space in time opens the opportunity to step in between the seconds appears as an illusion when in fact it is the gateway to the eternity of time… time saved over the ages to be used as a measure of ones dream… The time exists to accomplish all that we have dreamed of… If we are willing to let go of the reality and take hold of the opportunity that the adventure holds before us… This space in time is a doorway to the wishes one holds dear… it is an opening in the rift of the universe… a revelation for the mind to alter perspectives… Once upon a time in the wildest of dreams… Once upon the earth there was… and once upon this time we can grasp the possibility that time is just a measure… like a ounce… or a teaspoon… it is a way of saying we were… after we have been… a tick of a clock… an invention of man kind enough to structure the brain to respond to the present of today… Once upon a time is the fairy tale of now… to be a memory we must in all honesty grasp the opening in the gates of time and hold on for the wildest of dreams…

She told me to smile and to let the emotions flow as if the time was… In the silence of a mind the reasons for what eye am speaks volumes… One of a many I am… One of many reasons I have within… She knows the reason and speaks nothing of them… She listens to the songs… the words translated form one language to the native tongue we both speak… a variation of the language of one… a bit of the fantasy rests in my heart and a lot of a reality in my hands… I write to free my mind and to let the reader of my words know… but what message am I sending with all the volumes of words I have sent…? She speaks in silent tomes of what the words mean… she hears them on both sides of the equation… logical and illogical… and in the still nest of rest she wanders into my memory… and sits with me as a mother with a child… explanations… clarity forms passages and direction for the mind to take… Your words are lyrical pathways to places they are often unable to grasp hold of… you speak of who they can be and our underneath the façade they wish to project… the way is not of following but of illuminating the places they can adventure off to… To be they must step away from the rock that you some times are to test the waters of the rocks they can be… She told me to smile more and to be the person I am… to seek another avenue for the tears to flow… to let the emotions be as they can be in the arms of times past… for the present is in the gift of hue to those that love decides worthy of such things… In life we learn we cannot choose who we love… we can only love those we choose… and some times that means being the person they need us to be other then the person we want to be… Once upon a time I asked the Goddes for a gift and the hand of Fate and the View of Destiny open my eyes to you… and from that moment on my life has been wonder filled… Some times in life we have to be for others what they need us to be… and put aside the wants we have… love is not always what we wish or fantasize about… it is a dream a wish a happiness that rests within us… this I know because time has allowed me to grow in awareness of such wonders… There are moments in time when ones heart speaks and times when the mind speaks and times when the soul speaks… and times when words must be spoken and times when silence is the golden voice that tells all… To wish is to dream is to create a reality worthy of living… The time will arrive when the people we have become will meet on neutral ground and smile at the wonder we helped each other create… I have become the writer that I dreamed of and you are blossoming into the woman I saw within… If I fall silent shake me… If I stop writing yell at me… If I disappear find me… what we have created is a pool for each other to bathe in… a place where we can be who we are… without reservations or effort… to love is effortless… in my mind… my heart and my soul… these are the wonders I have learned from her… the hue of my dreams… who sits with me… all I had to do was open my eyes…

What is in the mind when two letter words appear… be it or up or so be it as it were… the porpoise of such expressions is to allow the mind the ambiguous journey that comes from opening possibilities that stretch it endlessly… an enormous possibility exists with each use of a word or phrase… I have arrived at conclusions and found them to be fruit filled to the brim… over flowing with emotional waves the pool fills and is emptied into the river that rushes head long to the sea where the ocean of opportunity is ridden on each wave that crashes upon the sands of time…

A trip down… a slight alteration… things happen… a bump along the road of life… what we do with the bump is what is important for us to sea… The rains come… the snow falls… the sun shines… the rivers rise and we meet the challenge or we flee the waves that wash over the land… we rise to the aid of others… we repair the ship of dreams the best we can… and stoke the furnace with what we have inside keeping us warm and content in the home we have created… a witches’ brew of thoughts…

I due right in a lyrical form… a way with words I have at times and at others I am at a loss for them… the power of the muse that drives me onward and upward… I am prepared to deal with a lot each day and this helps free the mind… and open the door to opportunity…

The mind wanders while the heart wishes the physical hue begins to change with each thought an equal reaction forms within the body… the mind… the spirit reacts to what one believes is happening to them and the seat appears the skin reacts to each touch of the flame… the mind races as each sigh breathes life within the pools of desire a smile licks its lips in anticipation… giving in to such things the body explodes… shudders of passion… radiate out in all direction so far I can sense them half a world away… sweeping though me…

The air is sprinkled with the colors of ones imagination… a voice reaches up… we are taken to account for what we wish… what dreams we have… what colors we use in our imagination… we are taken to account for the joys we extend to the lives of others… the hand we hold out to aid the imagination… the wish or the dream… The air is filled with the music of ones heart singing our across time and space… listen and you will hear the sound a soul makes as it opens… A bit of the dark fishing… a blind casting into the pool in the hope of attracting the one that almost always gets away… until of course they are captured by the heart of the one they seek…

The hands are filled… the mind races to list out all the things one must due in the course of a day… to care for one and two sea to the care of another the day is filled with tasks to perform… preparations of food… time to relax… sleep… time to be who we are… fascinating how much the realities of life some times interfere with the realities of life… if the world were a perfect place there wood be time for all the joys that life can bring in one days time… but that is only true when one manages to manage the time we have such that we get the tasks done in the proper order of events…

Sum times the day is never longer enough and then there are those days that appear longer then they need be… A smile is all it takes to speed up a day that is dragging a bit on the heels… I have that wish that dreams will come true… and in the end they do for me… I believe it so it is…

In time the moment will come when once again the time will arrive when it will be time and then the words will flow… I often have that block a writer some times gets when they try to hard to write a great novel… when in fact the focus eludes them… I have learned in my age to move where the focus brings me and then to recollect the thoughts at a later time… You may have noticed that in what I write… it never seems to be where it should be… a bit here and then a bit there… I drive organized people crazy… except myself of course… because in this chaotic process there is structure for all things have structure even chaos…