Peace filled places call… a gentle reminder of what is important… a walk… a stroll… a patch of ground to sit upon and watch the clouds float on bye… a name for all the flowers… a purpose to the water flowing… a reason for watching the river run… a gentle nudge into the water… a passionate play on the words we share… A knot tied tightly holding the door secure… Peace filled the places are that call out to me… I am less passionate… I am less spoken… I have taken a seat on the side lines that was mine all along… patience… I am told is a gift… an ability to wait on the words, the actions of oneself or others… Patience is a divine quality… Since the dawn of my times I have preferred the easy path of less conflict then the one of public display… This has founds its way around and around… In time the picture becomes perfect even if only for a moment in time… my mind wanders and my heart aches… and the time to stop is a time to start some thing new and different… We all need that some time when change is wonder filled…
One reaches and one stretches… one finds a path and starts off to follow the dream they believe in on that way… In time we reach the place of our dreams… often after a time there we realize that there are better places for this is the place of earlier dreams and now our wishes have a more grown up feel to them… and we move on to a more peace filled place… having learned to wish better or dream more completely we go off and new roads to find the perfect place to sit in the sun shine and in joy the summer’s waves of heat that float on by… One reaches this place often at a crossing of the roads to adjust the smile or to play with the shimmering hair… they wait… as I await the push that will get us moving once more… It will come as mysteriously as it has left me…
One knot is tied… upon another… a series of knots placed one upon the other… each one more complex… each one a revelation of patience to uncover… each one requires a different set of rules to undue… each one a puzzle left to the imagination to unravel… they appear as laces twisted one upon the other… rules… ideas to control the mind or the process at witch one unravels a puzzle… a mystery lingers between the strands… in between the words of the instructions is where the mystery lies…
A parent must at some point in time let go of the need… it is the same with guardians, teachers, students… or instructors or any kind… The some point arrives amidst much emotion and excitement… change is occurring and we are playing the game as best we can… A parent lets go and they fly or they fall… mostly they fly without us… they go off into the world and do what we can know longer due… I have struggled with these thoughts… I have watched from a distance… sat at the cross roads… answered the inquires… fallen and pull myself up… I feel so lonely surrounded by people… One by one the words have stopped… the music reminds me that it is temporary… a stop along the way… I am left to my own thoughts to find a way around this corner… Difficult some times to let dreams go… to stop wishing for some thing… to wake up and real eyes that what you were wishing for was less then what you dreamed it would be… to be in a wish singularly… to be one part while the other part faded into silence… Surrounded by people I am alone… sitting here I am alone… walking I am alone… and alone I shall always be… it is the state of my mind and my destiny… a glimpse of another fate was presented to me once and I passed on it… for while it was wonder filled and generous I had already made my promises… A parent must at some point let go… and see where the center is with things… this is a time for the virtue of patience to take hold…
Slowly I am withdrawing my arms… they have become weak… the ticking of time… the effects of living having taken hold… A slow steady wearing out of the old being replaced by new and more economical parts… One step closer to the edge we move… for at some point it is our turn to step over or leap with faith toward the other side… to be revealed… to have all the questions answered… to have all the puzzles pieced together in one mosaic of color filled choices… that define our life times… Basically I am a coward… knot wishing to fight I flee the on coming wave… I take to the road and move on… wishing only to be left alone and when left alone wishing only to be found out once more… Where are all those when I need to hear the voice of unreason… gone the way of the other voices… for your fate is on a different path… having only a glimpse of joy you shall always be two never one… and sew after a time it goes round and round… the waves wash over the sands of time removing any part of me from memory… some stress… some smiles… some pages to turn… some tired days… exhausted in the winds of change… Slowly I am withdrawing… a month of Sundays awaits… a vacation for the mind to charge… never to speak… never to rise or to fall… never to appear or disappear… the move is mine and I am tied in knots… laced one upon the other we struggle to be free and once free we struggle to be once more tied together… a comedy of human emotions… I am leaving to go home once more to rest in the arms of the other and to wish for some patience… patience for myself and for those who have wandered off…
A new face emerges from the ashes of the old… a new time to grow… a new beginning for the old ways… one tender touch erases all the thoughts… we are able to wash the traces away while bringing forth the mild changes of wind… rain… the sun that shines wishfully…
Are these my words or are they the words of another? Is any word original to the speaker… I guess if we develop our own way of speaking it is… but as for an original word there are few of those… Original combinations of words to express a thought or to tell a story well yes there are those… there will always be original ways of looking at the world as long as there are dreamers there will be new ways of piecing together the words to form interesting observations…
Each peace is a reflection of the previous one… as each day builds on the previous one each piece builds on the one before it… some are better then others are… some are sturdier then previous ones are yet together they form a net of complexities that holds together… Choices are made… choices are considered and one is decided upon and taken down that road are we… Each peace reflects the decisions we have made up to that point in time… a coming of age through the experience of time… a journey to over standing how choices reflect on one another… I am often taken back to choices made… to reconsider the possibilities that I have made… and now in the place of consideration I imagine it being different… taking on a new light in the midst of what I now know… a new set of possibilities will appear before my eyes and while I ponder those others will disappear and it is the disappearing ones that pull the deepest inside me for it the choices that brought them to light and to change them will alter the out comes of those decisions… While some I would wish to alter the outcomes I would wish to be as they are… for with it all they are reasonable and good and show me in the best of lights…
The filters are up and put on high… I wish to be isolated from the choices that need to be made… I wish to hear the words evenly… I wish to feel the effects know longer… when will the tests stop? When the air is cleared I will step forth to glide on the mist left on the edge of this dream… Each step begs for another… each choice ask another… soon the challenge is one of taking care of the steps so the pedestal stays strong…
If you are wondering where I am then you are looking in the wrong places for me… I feel the lonely nest as vividly as any one yet I will knot stop living to sit inside of it… So what is my cry or who cares or why knot to the questions of why and how come… If you search you will find me where I was all along… sitting, watching, hoping… and dreaming… in the end for me it is the safest of places… it is the place where I feel the most at home…