I came to say I cannot stay… hello I must be going… I could stay a week or two I could stay the whole year through… hello I must be going… Expresses me at this moment in time… It has been quite interesting but we all have times when we need to move on… change, alter our perspectives… life is change so change is life… they are equal to each other… to live one must grow, change and alter the ways in which they do things… To change one must live each day… Every so often it is important to step away from the patterns we set and go forth in a different direction… Life is filled with these changes… and God help me I do so love to change…

Yes we are coming to the ending of a era so to speak… an ending of a time where words flowed from these fingers on a great variety of subjects… and then again who knows where the words will spring forth from… There are many places in witch to write… many places in witch thoughts can be shared openly… I am sure I will find my way… I may even come back to shed a delight here at some time… butt for now the time has arrived for me to move on over… as it says I came to say I cannot stay… hello I must be going… and go I shall… be well…

At each ending a new doorway opens to take us away to a new place to begin once more… Each ending is by nature a new beginning… We open the door to alternative possibilities that stretch as far as our eyes can see… as wide as we can feel… as deep as we can go to find the peace we know that is inside us… Each day is a beginning and an ending… of the journey we are on…

Beware of German’s bearing Swiss Chocolate… be aware that the chocolate is an invitation to indulge in pleasures they find difficult to reach… To smile, to laugh, to find humor in the daily life is a challenge they find as difficult as breathing… My ancestry is Austrian and Irish… My wife’s is Irish, Italian and German… There are ties to the old ways of Celtic wisdom in the roots that we place upon this earth… Our children have that connection to the old ways of life, to the old thoughts, to the older ideas for we imparted that to them along the way… Wary I am of a German bearing chocolate… it is a joke… a stereo-type that I find humorous… Me thinks my friends in Germany donut always butt then I can remind them that I to can be a jelly donut… Just like one of our presidents…

Give me time and a pleasant afternoon and I will walk away with a smile that radiates warmth, desire and passion once more… There comes a time when we all need some one to lean on… I am that post for my family, my co-workers and to many of my friends… Every so often I need that step away to rest my head, my heart and my soul… Excuse me for the indulgence…

What is hear upon these pages are the words to my thoughts… the music to my words… the symphony of sounds that express my deepest emotions… As you read you may be able to hear the sounds of the music that filled my ears as I wrote these thoughts or imagine the exact frame of reference I stepped in while writing… or maybe you will allow the words to influence your mind to open wide and let your imagination run wild for a time…

The thought helps… the thought stretches the mind, the imagination towards achieving a goal to step outside… The action of doing is what will bring delight and a bit of uncertainty to your life… The pursuit of being sure enough to be unsure… to be confident enough to know you can travel the road and take on what ever appears before you and turn it to gold… That is the purpose of it all… The possibility still exists to go forth and play… so go forth and play…

There are days when my mind wanders away from me… There are moments when perfect clarity eludes me… there are times when the mists rise up around me shadowing all that is… In the midst of all this I am wandering among the clouds peering forth to see the shadows as they move along my sides… I know there are elements in the air, in the land, in the sea that make up the earth that I am unaware of… Knowledge of them does not make their presence known… knowledge of them makes me aware of there place in the circle of life… We are all creatures… we are all necessary to the earth, to the sky, to the waters that live and breathe… There are days when my mind wanders off to follow a logical path and then there are days when logic escapes my grasp leaving me to wander in the realm of illogic…

One day I sat upon a rock wrapping my arms about a love cradling them to me… In silence we sat for ours was this time… the sound of her breathing washing over me as she slept in my arms… a peace filled sleep of dreams shared of warmth of caring of desire of passion for one another… of passion for the water that flowed beneath our feet… of love for the forests in witch we sat… This day is etched in my memory as one of the precious moments in time that I will carry in my heart from this life time unto the next life times that I get to share… I can feel her present even now pulsing within my being, the present of her voice… the present of her smile, her laughter… the slow sound of her breathing as I held her close to me… lost I was in her magic… lost I will for ever be… She has inspired me to be a creative soul… to be more then I was when I first met her in this life… for ever since our destinies have been tied together… she is the magic that binds me to this earth, to this dream we share and I will ever more dream of her… at night, in day… at all ours is the time to sit and listen to another’s dreams… and I can share my dreams with her… she is the rock on witch I stand…

To this day in time I think of other times… the passage way having been opened for me I walked inside and found a limitless expanse of experiences to renew my life with… Opening the door I fell to the sensitivity I was ignoring in me… I opened my life to the feeling of love that surrounded me… Many will tell you that love is this or that… it is for each of us expressed differently… Some show it as romance… others in the daily routine… others in the small random acts of kindness that elude the eye of the camera… Love is how we feel when we are in it… the love of life is a spiritual love that wraps us in an attitude of kindness and compassion for other life as well as for ourselves… It begins with who we are to ourselves before we can be anything to anyone else… Love is how we sort… love is how we see others if we wish to… When we look with the eyes of love all is forgiven… Love is the force that surrounds us, that is inside us that fills the void between us… It is the power of life in the universe…

Lost I am in the magic of another’s eyes and lost I shall always be in the arms of others… The kindness to hold me is returned in kind nests of warmth that wrap themselves about my very being… A hug in time rocked, rolled swaying to the rhythm of hearts that beat in time one with the other… Miles away in the snowy woods of yesteryears we came upon a path that diverged… One went east and one went west and one went what seemed like no where at all… In time the paths were taken and the wonders of life lived on till at s0me place further on down the paths once more crossed over and in the delight of the full moon lost souls found one another and relived the life times spent crossing the world in search of what they always had with one another… what they always had inside themselves… A lost soul I am who finds comfort in the words that others speak, in the center that runs deep… in the sounds of silence that is and shall ever be… A lost soul wanders to find its way and on the way finds it where it was all along right before their eyes… for it is the place they wander that is their way… and being at peace with oneself is being at peace with the world, the wonder and the love that surrounds you…

We walk different paths yet we walk the same way… We wander along in endless rivers of thoughts yet we move in the same direction… The river flows towards the sea… the river runs from its source to the sea that surrounds the land in witch we reside… we are surrounded by the waters of life, the water that gives us life… It is everywhere we look for without it there is nothing… life is water and water is life…

The truth be told many find my way of writing to be difficult… Understand it I do… I do understand the reluctance, the difficulty others have with my particular style of rambling… of corresponding with me… well soon enough the old way will be left to the four winds and will be replaced by another one… first a step off the beaten path to pave the way… it is easier to break away when one is actually away… the other side of me wishes to visit the real world for a time and I must go when asked for… All good things arrive at the doorstep of those who wait…

Know time like the present… there is know time like now to enjoy life…

Today I wished to be alone left to my own solace of mind… The hour of my journey approaches… I am left to my own wanderings… Today I feel so strange… I donut wish to share what I write or what I think… I wish only to wander and find my way among the many paths that litter my imagination to find a soft peace to lay down upon while the sun warms me… while the heat of the day chases away the cold chill in my heart… Cuddled inside my mind is the warmth I feel for others… wrapped in my being is a twisted energy that envelops those around me in the whirlwind of my thoughts… It is chaotic to sit and to listen to the sounds inside my head… they run in all directions at once… finding their places as we put them to rest… calm at peace… centered I become as the hour approaches for me to step forth and play the game… Today I wish for silence, solitude and solace in my own world… I will find those elements inside me… I will find them in the words I write, the path I choose to roam this day… At a different time I believed that I could walk this earth in solitude… Unsure I am of what is the heavier burden… the walk alone or the walk beside some one who is always a finger tip beyond the farthest reach one can have… I am at a loss for words to express what is in my heart yet I still write about what is there… Maybe some day the correct combination of words will pop out and I will be able to say yes, that is correct… No one reads my words for they are complex and circular… they twist and turn there way from one mind to another all the time exploring different possibilities… People donut like possibilities to be endless they enjoy routine, fixed paths to roam… My wish is to have as many options as there are days in my life times…

Some time ago I fell upon a different path… Agreed I did kicking and screaming to walk this path… Unhappy at my choice I pursued the end to just get me there so that the process of being there was over… Change occurred some where in the midst of all that… profound change… Never have I looked back on that time without wonder, without a smile at who I used to be…

Unaware I was… Unaware of all that I was missing by being so sure of the path that was before me… One road to travel, one path to take, one home to build, one family to gather onto myself… One being the operative number for it was a one sided set of thoughts… A controlling set of circumstances to say the least… Unaware I was of what was beyond my imagination to see, my hand to touch, to ears to hear… Unaware I was of all these wonders until one day I found them I touched upon them whilst I was dreaming and since that time I have called upon those traits that inspire me…

For me this has always been a journey to explore the opportunities and possibilities that reside in each day… While some are interested in creating fortunes, creating wealth, creating more… I was interested in creating more or all the things that I lacked… What I found was that most of us lacked those same wonders… My place is one of touch to a shoulder… a path direction and then a time to move on… It is time to move away from where I have been to some place else… I shall be here among the ruins of life times of tasks unsettled… I did succeed in getting myself here… In turning another’s head once or twice… I succeeded in finding love each day… I succeeded in falling in love more and more each day with the angels that surround me… Blessed I am for the wonder of life is in each day…

Words have found a place in my heart for they transform me into some thing other then I once was and while I can struggle to find the right one I write each day to free my soul… Others float in and they float out having been touched by me or me by them… Always I remain alone… the solitude of what I do creates the need to be separated from most… yet close enough to share what I know… a fine line of distinction…

The novel will never be written, the poems never released, the story of my life never to be told fully by any author or critic… My words will never grace a stage or a play rights hand… The lyrics to my songs never to be sung or the sound of my music heard beyond the rang of my own ears… This is the world I wander inside of… This is the world that I invite others into… This is the world I share with those that take the time to step past the false perception to find the reality in the dream that exists beyond their imagination…

If you have come in search of some thing you will find it here for in here there is everything you can imagine and some things you wished never to imagine… Here is where you find the truth… the lies… Here is where your cross roads rise up from the mist that lingers and challenges you to be more, feel more, create more then ever you dreamed possible… Here is where your desire, your passion, your wishes and dreams are tested, altered and placed before your eyes as reality… If you came in search of some thing you will leave with some thing more then you bargained for… That is the nature of this place… that is the nature of life… always giving more then we bargained for or dreamed of… You will find solace in the solitude that washes over your being… a warm bath to comfort your mind and relax the muscles that tense and strain to bring you what you already have butt cannot yet see… If you have come in search of some thing found it you have…

Today I wish to share with no one some thing magical and special… today know one gets to indulge with me in the silence of friends spread out over the world we hold hands and dream of one day when we will all be together as we once were… Trapped I feel inside myself… a false self it is… A façade… my favorite word de jour… a mask that hides me… a closet hidden in the back of another closet deep within the farthest reaches of my being… as deep as any one could be and as shallow… I fear no one will find me and take me away…

A hand stretched out… a hand is taken to heart… a hand is held onto even after the glitter has faded… The feeling will remain long after the glitter that was fades into the dusk of today… There are many days when the words passed on strike a chord… strike a musical note of laughter inside me… Many ways to wander with those thoughts and each one brings a smile…

Ready I am to change… ready I am to alter my routine… to start once more anew… these impulses fill me at times to change the pattern that fills my life… I am a creature of habit… and this habit while a good one still needs to be refined… What I write yesterday is old, dark and in the shadows of the past… what I write today is the present that I give… what I will write on the morrow is yet to be and as such is a mystery even to my mind, my thoughts… Who knows what wonder I will discover today that will find a way to words tomorrow…

The tangents of my thoughts crisscross over one another… Impossible to follow all the avenues at once… Many roads lead to the same end taking alternative paths to get there… I carry this spirit with me that in time I will experience a lot more then I have for the first part of my days… The sun spins us around her glow… the moon spins us around its mystery… We spin tales… yarns… tall stories… building word castles on witch we stand… Conflicting terms dance… come together in silence and dance some more… I am spinning about in search of what I am unsure of and when I find it I will only be sure enough to be unsure of what I have found and how it can be used each and every day in my life…

You need knot take it all… some fits perfectly, other pieces are of a more general fit and need to be filed, altered and smoothed out to find the perfect fit in the mosaic of your life… You need only take what fits best altering its fit to suit your purpose… Believe what is best for you to believe so that you can have more desire, more passion, more love and more lust for life each day… If what you do is not enjoyable, then do some thing else… do something that fills your life with meaning, with joy, with passion for each day… Wake up wondering aloud what wonders you can accomplish today…

Today I am writing alone… today I sat here and wrote all alone, in the solitude of my own being… usually that is different… so today I did some thing magically diverse for my mind… Today While I write I vented and purged my soul… and I took another road… I learned that I could write in non-specific terms and that I can do what I set my mind to do… I can write about whatever delights me and still find time to correspond to others… Who knows this may just lead to more alternatives for me to write even more now…

The words flowed out after a bit of time… He said, she said they both spoke at once and to the core of the words a silence for they were talking to find a common ground on witch to speak… Talking is like that… it starts with the smaller talk… the talk of the weather, the feelings of emotions at being where you are… a nudge to get the other one to begin to open up just a slight bit so that over time the words flow out and then the explosion of thoughts arrives leaving a trail of discussions that linger over a decade of time in a moment… So much is said it so little time that the mind stutters to comprehend what is being spoken… listening is the art for as one opens the flood gates the other must allow the flood waters to over flow the barriers and to wash over them in buckets in waterfalls of emotions and tears… the sweet tears of sorrow, the sweet tears of joy that console the mind that free the soul of the bondage… I donut know you butt I can love you for the spirit and inspiration you give to me… I donut know you but I can love the person I sense in the words you write, in the magic you project outwards… Some times people need to talk until there is nothing left to talk about so that they can talk about what they need to talk about… for under the small talk is simple talk of life, of love, of compassion and desire… under all of that is talk of passion and the fires that drive us to be better people… Simply put the friends I have inspire me to be a better person… I love them for that… at times it is difficult to do all they wish of me… at times it is challenging for me to change in ways that are productive… but then I have friends like you who take me to places I need to go… and after a time of talking we finally get to the talk we needed to be talking all along…

A dew falls crystallized in the cold air to settle to the ground as a frozen reminder of what nature has in store for us… The ride to and from could be an adventure not worth taking for the slides to one side or the other… We are the explorers of a realm that exists inside us… What we find we get to keep or toss away as we deem worthy…

Some times it is necessary to step back away from to capture the entire picture that is unfolding before your eyes… Some times it is necessary to feel each word as it is said as well as the words that were not spoken… If one refuses to speak they are hiding… to hide is not good… nor is it a productive atmosphere to live inside of… I am knot in a position to know but I feel that talk is important as is the intimacy that you desire… that you deserve… Keep your dreams in sight… push towards them for that is the path of your freedom…

Many times we step away and find what we had was interesting… Many times we step back to get a better view and find the view not as interesting as the one that we were close to… Many times we stutter step around a word that we wish to say only to find it was the perfect word at the perfect time… We can do more then we believe ourselves capable of… It is human nature to believe less or in some cases to believe only the dark in ourselves… Miss Takes I have made a few… I suspect I will make a few more… If it wasn’t for that I would be way to boring to be around…

In ticed are we to dream of hands that care enough to satisfy our imaginations… enticed are we to dream of lips that cover up with caresses… enticed are we as we dream of being cared for, rocked, rolled and danced about until we fall helplessly into another’s arms to be carried away to the place where the way they have with us is the way of our imagination exploding in ever increasing regularity over a time our bodies respond to the enticing thoughts to the dreams we create… over time we are inside the dream swirling about wrapped in the present and finding strong arms to hold us… gentle hands to caress us… passionate souls to love us… enticed we are… all of us…

There is more to what is before you then the physical person… there is the emotions and the spirit that collectively compose the being that is… If I were to see only what was before me I would miss all the elements that are locked underneath the façade that is placed in front… Life is a series of trials, of challenges, of possibilities, of opportunities that stretch as far as the eye can see… At each one we get to participate in our destiny by choosing the direction our lives will take… I fall in love daily… I choose to do so… I create daily… I choose to do so… I participate in the circle of life… I participate in the joys, the wonders, the creative process that sparks my imagination… Each day I get to project beyond the façade that some will use to define me… Judge mints are distributed and they are flavor filled interestingly different then what the package describes them to be… The package calls out for sweet, our taste says sour… the package calls to us as interesting we open the book to find a story retold…

What one wants is not always possible by another’s hand… Happiness is an internal emotion… others can contribute to it… it is a conscious decision to hold onto the moments that create the mixture that plays out as happiness… Some woman find men difficult to talk to… Some men find woman impossible to deal with… Most of us fall some where in the middle… The physical us attracts others to us and if what is under the façade interests then they stay… If there is nothing forthcoming from behind the façade then interest wanes… We search for different things at different times… some times we are searching for a soul to speak with… other times we are searching for companionship along the ways of life… at other times we are seeking to find that one who will be with us forever… At all times we are interacting with unique and interesting people… The ones we wish to share with we do… the others move on to find solace in another…

Eventually I get to the point where words are played out… The mind searches for other words to continue the game butt without some outside inspiration the words fade for a time as my mind has arrived at its oasis in the daylight… Time to go out and experience the day so that on the morrow there is delight to sprinkle upon the leaves, wonder to spread on the grass… fertilizer for the next day, next year, for the next generation of ideas that will flow from the enriched minds we get to encourage…

Rarely do I find it necessary to vent my mind… I guess that is what I do every day in a sense… The power of the written word baffles me… Often I feel inadequate and alone in my own head… Part of being the lost soul that I am… It used to bother me… It used to annoy me terribly that I could be this lost soul that hung at the fringes of reality… It seemed to me that I was consistently on the edge looking inside… That was life for me… Often I find myself writing long letters I keep to myself… I find that others find what I write distasteful or dark in nature… I sleep well after writing so I guess what ever comes out was necessary to come out… I am driven by a need and I seem to get so far along and then just when it appears that some thing magical will happen it does just knot in the way I imagined… My life some times is this fantastic illusion that I get to live each day writing about nothing… about having focus on fun and being positive… I vent my emotions in these words and at times they are thrown back at me and at other times they raise me up and make me feel good about who I am… The circle of life radiates out from me… I am knot a writer by trade… I am a writer because it makes me a complete person… Writing is my life it is not my livelihood…

Each day I get to adjust my mind to some thing… maybe it is a word that some one writes or a feeling I get from a note sent or even some times it is that nothing is sent when I feel something should be… Life is so easy and then so complicated… Chaos is necessary for creation, for the creative mind to grow one needs to feed the dragon inside… I am alone at my computer… it is getting late… soon it will be time for bed… to dream of what is to come… This day I will choose to dream a dream from my own dream tree and keep the dream to myself… My feathers have been ruffled, my flesh torn a bit… all the while I am wondering just what is it that I feel necessary in what I do? I am still searching for what I am looking for… I will look and prod along the way of my life until I find it and then the book of my life times will be complete… I am here alone surrounded by sleeping puppies and the sound of the night time filter down to me as I type… Alone in this crowded house I sit and wonder… I sit and ponder the magic that is my life… People Miss me for they picture just a boy or a man or a boss they miss me in their illusions as I used to miss others for failing to see behind the façade they pushed forth…

Missing is part of growing up… missing is part of being a child… missing is part of the experience of living each day… missing is part of who I am… I miss those that have touched my life and left their mark upon me… They are gone and I am here to extend a little bit of what I learned from them to the next generation… Still I miss them and I wish to be with them… butt that is knot me… it is a part of me… a slice of the person I have become for I hide it well within me and it is only seen by those willing to step behind the mask… behind the closed doors that make up the labyrinth of defenses I have amassed to confuse and delay all those who enter my mind…

Writing is a passion… writing is my desire, my creative outlet… It is for me that I write as much as I wish it was for profit what I do here is for my soul… this frees me from my God, my religion, my politics, my teachers, my parents, my children and all the other attach mints that are with me… This simple act each day opens my world it is the key… one of the keys that unlocks my prison, that releases me from my bondage… My life before was wonderful because I was blind to who I was and in that blindness I was unaware of what else there was… I simply could knot see what I could knot see… When my eyes opened and my heart opened and my mind opened I was aware then and only then of all that I had missed and the sad nest of that appeared and motivated me to be a better person and to knot miss the ride… writing became a desire and then my passion for I write for the joy it brings to me and the power it gives my soul… If you find what I write stupid that is your opinion and you are entitled to it… It is however for me that the words flow… for me that the sounds are created and for me that the passion is shown… This is real life, fantasy… creativity in action at the wildest and most interesting…

I donut vent my mind as much as I defuse my thoughts across many pages of ideas that bare fruit in my mind… I speak as one author put in one thousand words when one will do just fine… I believe in the power of words and the power of a mind to free itself using the words it knows to express what is there inside as best as one can each and every day they exist… I am neither novelist or poet… I am a person who writes as simple as that…

Expectations are a setup for disappointment… When ever I sense that anticipation is growing inside me I know to calm myself and to put the power of my thoughts to better use… for as my expectations grow they feed the fires of desire and passion inside me… When I allow the day to unfold before me I am always surprised and usually joy filled at what appears before me… Anticipation can alter the course of events that are unfolding and that is not positive… I expect great things to happen and usually they do…

Tonight before I head off to dream the dreams of the dream tree I will select a wondrous dream, a power filled dream to slumber in… I will savor its beauty, its passion and its joy… In a few moments the wonder of me will be gone… That is the way of life… that is the way of nature of the forces that control what goes on around us… It is time to dream, time to hold my wishes close and time to wonder… I guess it doesn’t matter anyway…

When the time is write… the words do flow… and when the times isn’t they donut… they whole up inside me and never ever do they roll… for what ever reason this night I donut have a response worth sending out… I read it… I listened to it… and I am sitting here with no words to speak or to write… some times the best thing to say is good knight dear lady and to grace fully depart… so I will take my leave and excuse myself for it is long past my time for slumber…

Time to go… time to catch the wave of sleep and ride it till the dawn awakens my weary soul and casts me adrift in the delight of a new day… Time to go… to play in the shadows as well as in the light… It is time to catch that train that has eluded me for so long… I still haven’t found what I am looking for… I may never find it butt I know my way… and for me that is the words I write, the music I create and the love that flows from me…

The wind blows… the snow falls on the trees clinging as it swirls about to all that it encounters even fro a moment in time… The wind chills the air setting the snow flakes to dancing upon the air in endless movements of fantasy… My mind is wandering as I sit upon this chair… wondering about this day that we be spent sitting, watching the snow fall… The air is filled with the joy of a day off… a holiday… a day that could have been some thing and was planned to be some thing that now because of the wish of the earth is changed to a blanket of white that restricts movement, that halts the tide of the average person… Today becomes a day to think, a day to rest on the heals of the previous day… Today is now separated from all the other days and labeled as a day of snow… a day of wonder in the wilderness of winter’s wonderland…

Step back and for a moment relax into a smile… let the world slip away from you for a moment and just let the thoughts that swirl about you stop… so that you can step away and see them in the light… there is an edge to every one of us that speaks as your edge does… an uneasiness when things are going well… for most of us we wait for the other shoe to fall as we ponder what evil lurks in the darkness to compensate us for the good fortune we are indulging in… When we step back we will find that if we search for it we can find it and if we fill our minds with thoughts of wrong we will do them… As simple as it sounds a positive thought planted in your mind will grow until it pushes away those other thoughts…

If I may indulge your mind for a bit I would like to tell you what I believe exists for you… I am a person who hears much of what people say and turns them about… for I see in you a delight that sparkles, a light that shines… a glow that comes forth each day to dance upon the earth… A wise man once said that we are unable to see what we are unable to see… and once we see it, it is as if it was always there… there is so much truth to that… most of us are blind to our wonders… as I know you are for your words constantly over look the wonder of your smile, the power of your laughter, the strength of your being, the desire, the passion that exists inside you that burns through in what you write, in what you speak… you miss the wonder of your being… the wonder of your wishes and dreams that play out across the ocean of time that separates us and yet I sense in you more then you can imagine in yourself… Some times I sit and I read what you write and I wish to wrap my arms about you and hold you until you can see other times I wish to shake you about like a rag doll so that what blocks your vision is taken away… or maybe like today I wish just to speak with you through my words that hope fully will alter your view of what is here for you… happiness is an eternal place… it exists in each one of us… you are a special person, you are a dream, a creature of wonder, you have the fire of magic that burns inside you and while others may poke or prod you I will take you by the hand and say quietly see the magic inside you… feel the wonder that exists in each day as you walk along the beach… smell the joy that is inside you rising up with each new morning… and if you feel troubled then take my hand and let go of those thoughts for they are a distraction and no longer necessary… and we will put them behind you now for they served a purpose once and now they can be placed away as memories of another time for this time is delight filled… this time is wondrous… this time is for the playing of a different tune… and I can hear your voice singing out and I can feel your feet dancing upon the earth as each wave of passion for the day enters you… seize the day… grasp hold of each fiber and live it completely…

The words of my passion were played out across time… At one time I was sitting and writing as thoughts raced inside me to and from… I am lost and found all at once… I littered the dream with passion that spoke of my desire, my dream, my wonder of those that have entered my life and for those that has departed my life at this time… each is a beginning and an end… a start and a finish of thoughts we can share…

We all change when it is time… Some by the force of nature upon them and others because change is a part of their being every single day… Some do it easy and some do it because there is no other choice for them… We all change a bit each day of our lives… We learn some thing new and different… we step forth in delight to experience the new day… However we see the world it is impossible knot to change… it is our destiny to do so…

Some days it is like we are tumbling tumbleweeds bouncing across the open plains following the wind being pushed in one direction and then the next at the whim of what ever path the breeze can find between the hills, the valleys or the obstacles that nature places before us…

The music rumbles to life… the prospects of snow loom on the horizon… The words find my ears and pull my emotions in one direction to the next one… A circular ride… a wondrous ride that often times has eluded me… I am in need of this journey to find my way through the next few years of my life… The drain upon my energy is large… the extent of my wonder needs to grow even more now… It is impossible without the dream that for the moment eludes me… but I know it is there in my future… The time will arrive and I shall be prepared… I shall be able to find that adventure in my life… and I will take the opportunity to grasp hold of a possibility and ride it out completely…

Trying, I can be… Trying is the course of effort made without a purpose worthy of the effort we put into it… One can try and then feel vindicated in have knot achieved the desired results… One tries when they are willing to accept less… Do or do not for that is the only way… When you believe you can you do in spite of what life places before you… If you believe it to be so it is… That is why you can see it happening before your eyes now…

Sitting here in the early hours of my day… This is my time to be… The edges of the day belong to me in my home for the rest of the family enjoys the comforts of their slumber way to much for my liking… They like the late hours or early hours of the night and I enjoy the late hours of the night and the early hours of the day… When in a creative mode sleep is not some thing I do easily… I will wander the edges of day and night sleeping in small doses to refresh the mind enough to continue on… These times spring out and alter my routine… The brain likes the route that I take mostly and yet longs to be disturbed… My comfort time is often altered and I am forced to find other ways to send out my words so that they touch another’s heart or hand… There is much to do before one sleeps and much to do while one is awake to the eyes of change that walk before them…

Alternatives abound… alternatives surround us… alternatives present themselves to us as we sit to ponder what is before our eyes… Alternatives are in many ways the passages we take to learn some thing new and different… The x factor that changes our lives as we walk each day… Some wander far and wide others close to the edge… of their own worlds butt all find a way to gather to themselves the lessons learned from the alternatives they have chosen…

The connection has been lost… Knot unusual for my connection is precarious at best… my connection is hanging by a thread most of the time… I am a loose cannon in an open field ready to lock and load at a moments notice for the threat to fire is as valuable as the actual firing of the loaded weapon… The war of words is as fierce as any war that has a value attached to it and what is the value of this war? Unsure we are of any reasoning for that allows us to find out… to ask questions to search for meaning in what we are told… In each state mint there is truth from the point of view that it is told… The truths we cling to are some times true only from our perspective… We wonder some times about the connections we have in our lives… often I walk away from that wonder with a smile having learned a lesson in change of perspective… Connections do that for they allow another’s point of view to settle in… to find a place for consideration with the one that is in your mind… Take to heart another’s words… take to heart the alternatives they place before you… Never fear the act of finding more or the act of action now… each has its place… when we act now we are taking onto ourselves the process of knowing enough… it is to the best of our abilities to know as much as we can know before we place others in harm’s way… once we calculate the risks at hand it is better to act sooner then to wait for the later… History has proven that to be true time over time… The wait is more harm filled then the action… The defender delays the finding out of their lies…

The day has finally dawned cold and dreary once more… A broken record of sounds of wind slashing against the home… of cold feet… of socks, warm clothes and even warmer beds that call out to remain sleeping… The day delights me with anticipation of the trip that is before us on the morrow… another run to the middle states… another run to the edge of a lake… another run to the far reach of some ones dream… I am taken to wondering as I travel this road if it is a road worth taking and I have always concluded that even if the journey leads us nowhere butt back home with conclusions we already had then it has served its porpoise… The cold of these many weeks has taken its toll on my spirit… The cold has drained me of my eternal optimism for a moment… I am wondering if it will ever end… and having said that I am sure it will for the calendar speaks of March but a few days away and of light returning to the day minute by precious minute… Soon the fields of dreams will clear of snow… soon the cold temperatures will rise above the freezing point… soon the sun will shine to bring warmth to the ground… and the wonder of spring time will shine on us all… The sun shines even today behind the veil of clouds… behind the solitude of this blanket of white…

When I am gone will any one notice that I am not here? That is the eternal question that we all get to ask every now and again… I get to test my theories out… My guess is that very few will notice the absence and continue to read what is and what is knot between the lines…

Yesterday I was away from my usual place… Yesterday I was some place else… In a few days time I will be some place else for a longer time… Longer then I have ever been away from here… While I will enjoy my time away to reinvent myself I will miss the connection that brings you closer to me… I will have to find another way to reach out and touch… As I rode the high ways and off roads yesterday I often thought of you sitting next to me as we did the same thing… A ride about the state of my mind wandered as we made our way to our destination and home once more only to leave again on a journey in the opposite direction for another and while I found joy in each adventure because it answered questions it also left me knowing that I missed you… Knowing that I was sitting there with you talking to you and holding you… I find that I do that a great deal recently once more… The comfort of sitting with you holding you while you rest or just providing a much needed hug when ever I sense the need inside me or inside you comforts my restless mind eases my restless soul…

Today has dawned without the forecasted snows… a welcome sight for another journey looms for this time tomorrow… a longer one to extend through the night of Monday… Another adventure to experience the feel of another place on this earth, it will be interesting while providing another set of answers to questions that still persist in the mind… I have become intrigued by these journeys I have become fond of the memories I have of them… As one ends another always looms in the distance before me…

Change has been inching its way into each of my days… In the way I write… In the way I think… In the way I perceive myself… Necessary changes just pop into place when the time is correct for such alterations to appear… What used to be traumatic for me happens in an instant… What used to take years happens in seconds of time… A change of font… a change of style… an alteration of color or of size on the page all seem to be simple and easy… they are and they are knot what one would expect… I have become change…

Yesterday I stopped many times to hold on to a thought of you walking with me as I wandered about listening to the voices of youth that surrounded me… It was nice to feel your present about me… I feel unworthy of such love at times… unworthy of your affection for me… Often I ask myself and the Gods what I have done to deserve such things from you… I know the answer is there yet it is difficult for me to see it… Maybe that is best that I just allow myself to be me… and do the things that make me who I am… That being said it was a wonderful day spent talking to you, holding you… wishing evil thoughts with you… being bad in mind with you as we say… It lifted my spirits to wander a bit inside your mind and to have you wander a bit inside mine… I have missed your wonder in my life even though I hold you each day close… I miss the wonder of you…

Some time ago I stopped, changed my computer and have been in silence ever since… In many ways It was necessary especially at my place of employ mint… In other ways it has taken me some time to get used to being alone… Some people love that form of communication and refuse to do other wise… I love to write so for me it is a pleasure to play focused on the play before me… Change is necessary for me to learn and grow up… I know that in time I will separate myself from the fantasy life I am enjoying at present… I know I will “grow up” some day and become the man I am destined to be… or maybe I will just remain the same in some ways and only change those elements of me that need a bit of fine tuning…

In a few days from now I will step off on another journey that will take me to through many states physically as well as mentally… I have taken on this adventure freely fro it will provide for me change and much needed rest from other distractions… I know while I am there I will miss you terribly and while I will write each day my ability to correspond actively is not as available as when I am home… I know my words will reach out to you… I also know they will be more powerful then they have been… they will be thick with emotion… I am providing fair warning to you… and hoping you will find it in your heart to over stand the love that comes from me to you… It is often difficult for me to separate out the passion I have for you… yet it has enthralled me and captivated my heart in ways that I could only imagine… My life is much richer then it has ever been… I am knot hiding I am away… I am knot hiding while I am away… I am aware of being away… of doing some thing magical in a much needed way that is different then the way I have become comfortable doing it…

I have been over every night sitting with you while you sleep mostly… Some how that part of me has never change in all the times I have known you that image seems to linger from long ago… The one who watched over you… and it plays itself out in this life time also… And yes there is some thing called pride that we all have… that we share… for I am proud of you of who you are and of what you have accomplished… and so should you be… Once more I find myself wrapping myself about you while I sit here and think of you sitting next to me… wanting so much to turn and see you smiling next to me… the thing is I do often see your image there… hearing your voice, feeling your touch keeps me focused on what is important… I see you on the dark side of the moon in the shadows of my imagination… in the delight of my life times that I share openly, passionately and lovingly with you each and every day… Life has gotten so much richer, so much more wonder filled since that day… I will cherish all that has happened since then… You are in my heart each day… you always were and always shall be…