A softer shade…
I have taken on a softer shade… I prefer to fade a bit and as I do that I suspect that some will take it as a ignoring of them… While it may appear to them as that it is more of a search then a hiding or ignoring of any particular person… When I dislike some thing about me or I find an element of me that I need to change I do that… The change is some times small and unnoticed by some and at other times like now it is rather profound and deep one… I am not avoiding any one… I am avoiding me… searching for the correct path way to get the best of what was… to hold on to that really tight and then to let go of those elements I no longer wish to carry forth with me… A much less intense me appeared on this side of the change… Now that is not exactly what I was searching for yet it is better then the older me… This much younger me is less likely to deal with frustration in the same way… I am taking longer to get back to or even to answer some mail… A rather odd sort of thing for me… This shade is softer… a more pale version of the wild, innocent and dancing me that once was… Some may ask what caused the change, the need to change after all I seemed to be very much a happy sort… That is true… and I still am with who and what I am… change is inevitable… and the reasons are personal… and they will remain that… Yet I hop[e that all stay as close as they were… A slight step is all I took… to allow the intense structure in me to find a center that is more use full… I have adopted a softer shade so I can deal with my hiding nature related to adversity… I am a person of letters… a person who needs to write and to correspond would probably be a better word for what I do… knot in the usual sense but in a more emotional or spiritual sense… This change was unavoidable and necessary for my own growth… I real eyes that it may appear different to some but it is what it is… Life goes on and we all take a chance that we will be able to deal with what is placed before us… Unfortunately I am the best I can be when I am unnoticed… and unnoticed is where I will return to… I seek the sanity of the edges of reality… the words will flow once I am there to confide in what elements await my future wanderings… I donut apologize for being me… or for doping what I feel is in my own best interest… As a matter of fact I am pretty happy that I have taken this turn for the better mint of what I have surrounding me… Sarcasm will get me every where at once… and in some respects know where very fast… One need only over stand the unreal to see the reality as it fades to a lighter shade… a softer shade of what life can be…
The song…
Does it really remain the same or does it change each time we sing it? I suspect the later more then the former… Can we actually repeat perfectly the sounds we just uttered? I suspect the song… the melody changes in tempo… in rate… in rhythm… in beat… and I also know the words are altered over time to add a little bit of this or that to the singers mood… Slow it down… speed it up… Like the changes we make to improve the mood within us… It is time to pump you up… and the song does that wonderfully aware am I of the delight that is centered in the words of another’s song… One of the joys of writing is in listening to the lyrical quality of another’s words upon the sound of the wind… As I lose sight… or as my hearing fades a bit over time… I can still feel the melody within me… I can still sense the words upon her generating the cause and the effect… The song sends a massage to the entire being that the words or the music alone cannot… The song never remains the same it is always in flux to find the perfect spot to caress…
A bit frustrated…
I am a bit frustrated with the technology that surrounds me… I wish for a day when theses machines are full filling their destiny and providing the necessary help to the human element that they are designed to do…Once in a long while they do seem to reach and grasp the level that they were designed to reach… Most of the time they are a great source of frustration… The remnants of witch are scattered about… I have been struggling with the new computers, servers, printers and the like for a few weeks now and I am about to reach the capacity limited as it may be for this constant need to be tinkered with…I am at the limit of my ability to over stand the need for us to be the slave to the technology… Some one may have to splain that to me Lucy…
A short gathering…
Today we had a short gathering of friends, family and co-members of the group that runs or shall I say directs the operation towards a better tomorrow… We like to agree to disagree so we set to playing at what we do… It is no secret that I donut like to work hard… I have made a rather large project of getting the most done with the least amount of effort on my part… I am really good at it… Really good at it… so good at times that people actually wonder what I do when I am here… What a great way to have fun… I mean if they are wondering then I must be doing what I do as grace fully as so knot to be noticed at all by the ones who work for me and the ones I work for… I do some times wonder if they wood miss me if I suddenly passed on…
The short gathering was a delight for when we go on and on for an extended period of time I get lost in the porpoise of it… Know one seems to mine it as much as I do… I see gatherings as a massive waste of an opportunity to get some thing of value done… When they are short to the point and cover the necessary topics without meandering off on some wild tangent then they serve the purpose… most go off into the atmosphere for hours at a time… I much rather slip, slide and meander on my own… I seem to be able to get more done that way… I amaze myself some times… At how little I seem to do and get the most out of that small amount of fun… A small gem of a stone to carry close to the wonders that spark imagination to run wild and free…